


Sheer Perfection

by tigerxbutterfly



Category: Alice Nine, GacktJOB
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fast Time-Lapse, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-06-09 23:40:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 50,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6929083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerxbutterfly/pseuds/tigerxbutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tora had always thought that the full bloom of the Cherry Blossoms was the most beautiful view in his life but everything changes when a substitute lecturer decides to take over his class... and probably his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "In my eyes, you are so gorgeous."

Spring. Tora's favorite season. Despite the cold and heavy wind, the hay fever and cool weather, he still enjoys spring the most. It was because of the beautiful scenery around, flowers blooming. Especially when the cherry blossom bloomed, it was the peak of the beauty in his eyes. He thinks that there were no other beauties that could compare that.

There was another reason though why Tora loves spring. The start of something new. Sure, everyone thinks that the New Year is the start of something new, but not to him. Spring has always been Tora's start. New environments, new atmosphere and new school year. Yes, this spring was a start of a new school year. His second year, sophomore year. It has been a year since he moved to Tokyo and a year entering TOHO University. His skills in making films and producing have increased but not complete. Of course, he still has two years to complete and get his diploma, if he constantly get good grades though so far he does.

Today was one of those days where he walks to the campus ground for the first time after spring break. The trees in the wide school ground haven't bloomed completely, just a slight touch of petals blooming. The weather was surprisingly very sunny but still cold nonetheless, with heavy wind swaying back and forth.

Tora tucked his coat closer to his body and hid his face inside the scarf as he struggled to get to the building where his class is held. He stopped right inside the entrance and loosened the knot of his scarf before going inside the main lobby. He took a glance at the huge clock displayed on the lobby wall and smiled inwardly when he found out that class was still ten minutes away. He took his time to take the escalator. When he reached the third floor, he found his long-time best friend chatting with his classmates near the wall window.

"Yo Shou!" He called out his best friend.

The brunette haired man turned to Tora and greeted him.

"Tora! Ten minutes before class as always, huh? You should really change your habit. Our classes are getting harder and I suggest you at least come twenty minutes early!" He scolded with a laugh.

Tora just shrugged. "It's only the first day of the fourth semester, we don't even know if it will be tough or not."

"Have you even checked the timetable and lecturer names for this semester?"

"Yeah, first class is Cinema studies and lecturer is Kimisawa-sensei, right?"

"Kimisawa-sensei!" Shou exclaimed in exasperation. "Project crazed lecturer!" He sneered in disgust.

Tora laughed. "C'mon, Shou! He's not that bad!"

"He is when it comes to projects but I'm not complaining about his lecturing, though." Shou responded grumpily.

"Okay, okay. Let's just go to class." Tora said as he pushed his friend to the way to the class from behind before Shou turns into a really grumpy mood.

They entered the classroom and as always, Tora took his seat near the huge window because he loves staring at the view outside whenever he was uninspired. One of the reason why he chose this university. Other than having the greatest reputation for their film industry, the building and interior itself caught Tora's eyes when he went to the open campus. Class methods was interesting and the classrooms were also bright and comfortable due to the windows placed as walls. Tora was thankful that he got to get into this university.

Another reason was (he just decided just now), when a beauty had entered the classroom, carrying a messenger bag on the right and holding a coat on the left. It was more fortunate for him when the beauty put his things down on the wide table and hung his coat on the backrest of the chair. Tora could see the beauty's face more clearly now and yes, it was a _he_.

He was average tall, still shorter than Tora but a standard man's height. His body was slender and just the perfect body proportion adorned with toned muscles. His face was a perfect combination of beautiful and gorgeous features; high cheekbones, sharp, pointy nose and luscious lips. But the most that caught Tora's attention were his eyes; elegant, calm eyes with dark orbs and perfectly shaped eyebrows. Tora watched as the man in front of him adjusted his light blue sweater and oval shaped glasses.

"I never knew Kimisawa-sensei had a complete surgery change..."

Tora could hear Shou talking to him but his eyes were still transfixed by the honey brown-haired man in front of the class. He didn't even noticed when Shou had turned his head to look at his best friend with a weird look until he felt a smack on the back of his head.

"Wake up you dumbass!" He whispered irritatedly.

Tora rubbed his sore head and glared at his friend. "Was was that for?!"

"You were staring! And that is not Kimisawa-sensei!" Shou whispered again and pointed at the man.

Tora turned with a dazed smile on his face. "Yeah, a better one..."

"Seriously, Tora, wake up! Did we get the wrong lecturer or something?"

When Tora was about to answer Shou's question, the man in front of them was already starting to talk and they both immediately turned their attention to the speaker.

"Uh... Okay..."

The man started with a touch of anxiety visible in his voice and Tora couldn't help on letting out a small, swooning sigh as he listen to that deep, velvet voice.

"You are all probably wondering why Kimisawa-sensei is not the one who entered the class and the reason is that Kimisawa-sensei had an emergency meeting so he could not make it for today's class. He feels really bad because it is only the first day of the new semester and he's already giving you bad impression."

The man chuckled at the end of his sentence and the class laughed along.

"So I am here to substitute him for today and probably on other days when Kimisawa-sensei cannot make it for the class, so let me introduce myself. My name is Sakamoto Takashi and I will be your substitute lecturer for this semester. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu." The man said and bowed.

The students also bowed, replying back with 'Yoroshiku onegaishimasu' and Tora couldn't help but stare more and Takashi smiled. The most gorgeous smile he had ever seen and Sakamoto Takashi; the name really fit him and his gorgeous features. Tora was mesmerized and unconsciously thinks that at the very back of his mind, there is another beauty than stands over the full bloom of the cherry blossom. And that beauty was Sakamoto Takashi.

\--

"Geez... What was that all about?" Shou said as he walked on the campus ground, staring at his sheepish friend.

"What?" Tora asked innocently, trying so hard to fight back his smile.

"You were practically all over him!" Shou stated, eyes wide in disbelieve.

"Oh c'mon! I was just asking him about the film theories!" Tora said as he defended himself.

"No, you weren't! You were practically ran over to his desk like a schoolgirl chasing her crush and flirting with him!" Shou laughed this time, amused by Tora's denial.

"I wasn't flirting!"

Tora fought back again and got irritated by the increased laughter. It was true, he wasn't all over the new substitute teacher! Well... At least that was what Tora thought. Maybe he was a little bit excited when approaching the man after class but his questions were innocent. He only asked about today's lesson and assignment.

Okay... Maybe asking if he could replace Kimisawa-sensei was a little bit out of the line and so obvious that Tora liked the gorgeous man but he couldn't help it! He was interested with the other man and wanted to know more. It wasn't his fault for liking the gorgeous substitute lecturer.

Shou scoffed seeing the smile and distant look on Tora's face; yeah, he was sure his best friend was sinking to the sea of hearts.

"Get over it, Tora. He might even be way older than you."

Shou called out again and Tora stopped from his reverie.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with that. He doesn't even look like he's in his thirties. Too young for that age. I'd say he's around 28 or close to 30."

Shou shook his head out of amusement. "Whatever man. Just don't go a big blob of mess when your hopes are crushed."

Tora frowned and suddenly remembered the time of his first bad break-up. It was bad indeed with all the shouting and the betrayal of being cheated. It had been way too many years ago when he was just a stupid teenager. But the benefit from that all was he became to understand more about love and try to find a better one this time. He wasn't sure if this is really love that he was feeling towards the new beauty but he was definitely sure that he was interested with him.

Shou glanced at his friend again who suddenly got so quiet and adjusted his glasses.

 --

"So, how was your first day of the new semester?"

Tora looked up from his food as he heard his uncle starting to speak again. They were in a high class restaurant and Tora didn't really remember how he got here.

Oh right. His uncle Gackt had dragged him here after saying that there were no descent food at home and Tora was thinking of buying ingredients but no, his uncle had forced him to eat dinner outside because Gackt had just finished his orchestra rehearsal. He thought that they were going to the usual restaurant but no, Gackt was in the mood for some good wine and here they were.

Tora took a bite from his Cordon Bleu and swallowed the delicious schnitzel before answering his famous uncle.

"It was okay. Just like usual, except... We had a substitute lecturer."

Gackt stopped from cutting his steak and looked up, one eyebrow raised. "Substitute teacher?"

"Yeah. The real lecturer couldn't come because of some emergency meeting and was substitute by another lecturer. I think he's some kind of the lecturer's assistant because he'll be the one lecturing whenever Kimisawa-sensei is absent."

"Ah, Kimisawa-sensei. The crazed project lecturer--or that's what Shou likes to call him." Gackt said with a chuckle and continued to cut his steak.

Tora took another bite of the schnitzel. "He's not that crazy, really. He just want to keep his pupils occupied."

Gackt hummed and ate the steak, swallowing it before speaking again.

"How is this substitute lecturer?"

Tora took a sip of his water before answering, "His teaching methods are good. I understand him perfectly well and it's a bonus for me that he's got great looks; slender, beautiful face and perfect smile."

"Name please."

Tora was silent for a while. "Takashi... Sakamoto Takashi."

Gackt smiled at the distant tone his nephew had let out.

"Sounds like a beauty indeed." He said as he chuckled.

Tora just smiled sheepishly.

_You have no idea, uncle. Most gorgeous human being I'd ever seen..._


	2. "You always make me want to worship you."

It turned out that reaching out to Sakamoto Takashi was hard. In a month, he had 12 times of Kimisawa-sensei's class with two different courses. And during those 12 times, he had Takashi's class for 4 times, he couldn't even have a decent conversation with Sakamoto-sensei because the substitute lecturer was so busy that he couldn't even ask anything about himself. Tora could only go to Sakamoto-sensei after class ended and asked about the class' assignments. It frustrated Tora and he knew that Shou was starting to notice.

"Tora, seriously, get over it. He's hard to reach."

Shou said one afternoon in the campus' cafeteria having their lunch. Tora was slumping and he twirled and twirled his soba with his chopsticks, didn't know if he was going to eat it or not.

 "I can't, Shou. You know how I am once I'm interested in something. I can't rest until I at least know a little bit of that person."

 Tora sighed and finally took one slurp of the soba. Shou stopped midway when he was about to take one mouthful of his _gyuudon_.

 “Tora, _please_ , don’t tell me that you’re obsessed with him?!” He whispered in disbelieve, eyes wide.

 Tora’s eyes went wide also. “NO! Of course, not!”

Shou let out a sigh of relief. “Good. Because it isn’t like you to be so obsessed with someone. Anyway, just stop if you feel like you can’t go on anymore. There are still plenty of diamonds in the sea.”

Tora snorted. “Easy for you to say for a guy who already found his soul mate.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think three years can decide if he’s my soul mate or not. We’ve been pretty distant lately...”

“Are you guys okay?” Tora’s concerned look turned into a mischievous one. “Is Hiroto not giving you enough now?” He grinned.

“Asshole!”

Tora laughed as he ducked the thrown tissue from Shou. Shou laughed along and shook his head.

“Still great as ever. Maybe it’s just because we’re both busy. But enough about me, let’s try solve your problem, shall we? Get over him, Tora.”

Tora was silent for a while and Shou knew that his friend was contemplating so Shou just kept quite. They stayed like that until they both finished their meals. After putting away the trays, they walked back to the building where their next classes were.

“One week...” Tora suddenly said when they were about to separate.

Shou stopped and turned with puzzled eyes.

Tora let out an exasperated sigh. “I’ll get over it after this week ends. I promise.”

Shou gave a soft smile and gave a brotherly hug to his long-time best friend.

“If you guys are meant to meet, you’ll meet. Trust me.” He said after releasing the hug.

Tora smiled. “Yeah. See you after class.”

They both bid their goodbyes and went to their respective classes. 

\--

Gackt noticed the sour mood from his dear nephew when he saw Tora not drinking his favorite oolong tea. They were in the living room watching TV and it was somehow odd when Gackt offered the young man his favorite drink and didn’t immediately drink it, or didn’t even see the excitement that is usually there whenever the young adult spotted his oolong tea.

He sat beside his moody nephew and cleared his throat loudly. Tora turned to his uncle, a bit annoyed and stared at him. Gackt stared back, eyes clearly asking him of what was wrong but Tora just got annoyed even more.

“What?” He asked.

“Don’t give me that attitude. Something is bothering you.” Gackt’s answer was a stern one.

Tora sighed with irritation, hoping that his uncle will let it go but he knew better. His uncle was never going to let go and being the honest person he was, Tora finally let out the issue that made him moody lately. And Gackt’s reaction to his problem was calm as always, which Tora was thankful and lucky at the same time to have an uncle like him.

“It doesn’t sound that you’re only interested. You like him.” He responded in a calm tone, leaning back against the back of the couch as he stretched his arms.

“Maybe, I do... He’s just so gorgeous, G. You should really see him... And his voice... Don’t let me even start on that one.” Tora confided, finally taking a sip of his oolong tea.

Gackt chuckled. “Yeah, you’re falling. My advice? Give yourself a break. You met him, but who knows this is not the right time for the two of you to get to know each other. Even if one day he stopped being the lecturer’s assistant, you’ll meet him somewhere around this town so don’t get too down, alright?”

Tora sighed again and nodded, taking another sip.

For some reason, what his uncle had said made sense to Tora. Maybe sometimes you just need to stay back and let things flow instead of chasing it so hard. He knew that what his uncle meant was not giving up, but taking it easy. Maybe one day, he’ll meet Takashi outside the campus and maybe they could talk properly by that time. Tora smiled at his own thought and winced when he felt a pillow thrown at his face.

“Stop thinking and listen to me.” Gackt laughed as he ducked the pillow thrown by his nephew. “I have an important concert tomorrow night and you are insisted to come. Wear something decent because there will be many high class people watching. I’m not taking a no for answer.”

Tora chuckled and put his arms up in surrender. “Sure, fine. As long as I don’t get hit by too many girls, I’m alright.”

“Good.”

\--

Okay, maybe coming here was not a really good idea. When his uncle said that there were going to be many high class people, he really meant _high class_ ; prime minister, celebrities, music icons and other rich people. Tora felt so out of place because he was the only one who was an ordinary person. Sometimes he has this love and hate feelings towards his uncle and this was one of the time when that hate relationship comes to the surface. The worst feeling was that his uncle was backstage, setting up the stage, while here he was in the main hall, waiting beside the huge entrance to the concert hall for his uncle’s long-term lover and also Tora’s unofficial uncle.

Good thing that he didn’t have to wait that long because from a far distance, Tora could see the familiar man walking to his way. The man was tall, chestnut brown hair and long face. He was wearing a designer suit and Tora thought that his uncle looked like a very famous celebrity. Well, he was famous but not a celebrity. Gackt’s long-term lover worked as a photographer and a professional for that matter; always got booked by artists and high fashion companies.

“Uncle Yuu!” He called as he waved his hand at the photographer.

"Sorry, did you wait long?" The man named Yuu said as he adjusted his rectangle glasses.

"I don't know if 15 minutes was long or not." Tora answered as he tucked his cell phone inside his suit pocket.

"I'm sorry," Yuu gave him an apologetic smile. "I encountered my client and we talked for a while. It's rude of me if I only say hi to her." He explained.

"Nah, it's okay."

"Alright. Shall we go inside now? If I'm not mistaken, Gackt is waiting for us backstage, right?"

Tora nodded. "Yeah, that's why he sent me to get you."

Yuu chuckled. "Alright. Let's go then."

Yuu put a hand on Tora's shoulder and gestured for the man to go first. They walked to the back of the venue through a narrow hall and were stopped by a security guard at the end of it. Gackt was in sight just in time on the other side and told the security guard that they were with him. The both of the nodded to the security guard and walked in to where Gackt stood in a black suit paired with a tail coat.

"How are you doing?" Yuu asked as he hugged the conductor.

Gackt hugged back and gave a brief kiss on the lips before answering.

"Surprisingly nervous. I didn't expect the important audiences will be this many." He said, voice quivering anxiously.

Tora smiled and patted his uncle's back. "Relax uncle G. You've been rehearsing so hard. I'm sure you can knock this one out!"

Gackt smiled softly and pinched his nephew's nose teasingly. "Thanks."

Tora grunted and rubbed his nose. Gackt just laughed at his displeased nephew before turning to his lover again.

“Where’s your nephew?” He asked, looking at the backstage entrance again to look for a certain someone.

Yuu also turned to where Gackt was looking and took out his phone.

“He went to the bathroom and said that he’ll meet me here.” He said as he checked his phone, looking for new messages. 

“Oh, are we expecting someone?” Tora asked, joining them at looking towards the door.

Gackt nodded. “Yuu’s nephew is coming. I haven’t officially met him yet, only heard stories about him.” He explained.

“Cool. New friend for me, huh?”

“Might be. I think he’s around your age...”

Tora was curious now. Around his age? Uncle Yuu never mentioned anything about his nephew. Maybe he was not as close as he thought with Yuu. But they knew each other for ten years now and it almost hurt if Yuu was thinking that way. He loved Yuu like he loved his uncle. They always played together whenever Gackt visits them back in Kanagawa with Yuu. 

“Oh, he’s here.”

Yuu’s voice distracted Tora’s thoughts and when he turned again, Yuu was already gone and he turned to his uncle.

“He couldn’t pass security so Yuu is getting him.” Gackt said, knowing full well what Tora was going to say.

Suddenly, Tora’s phone was vibrating very loudly in his suit pocket and he excused himself from his uncle for a while then walked to a corner, picking up the phone.

“Hello?”

Tora listened to the other end and tried again but all he got for an answer was a girl asking for someone named Tarou. He immediately rejected the girl saying it’s a wrong number but the girl wasn’t convinced and that annoyed Tora. Without a second thought, Tora hang up the call and blocked the number. It wasn’t the first time he got calls like this. He assumed that it was yet another one of his uncle’s fans, pretending to call the wrong number and after that asking for his name. He really should have changed his number.

Tora put back his phone and walked to where his uncles were, near the backstage entrance door. He stopped dead when he saw a man standing beside Yuu and in front of Gackt, wearing an elegant dark blue suit.

_You seriously gotta be kidding me!_ Tora thought in disbelieve.

“Oh, there you are! Come Tora! Meet this lovely young man. Yuu’s nephew.” Gackt said cheerfully, not aware of Tora’s surprised face as he tugged Tora closer to the other man.

Tora was aware that the man in front of him was surprised as well; eyebrows raised and mouth gapped open.

“Amano-san!” The man exclaimed out of surprise.

“Sakamoto...sen...sei...” Tora was finally able to call the man’s name.

The two adults were surprised when they saw their nephew’s reaction on meeting each other. Yuu looked back and forth from Tora to his nephew, an eyebrow raised.

“Saga, you know him?” He asked confusedly.

_Saga?_

“Ah well... He’s...”

Tora was about to answer Yuu’s question but was interrupted by the other.

“One of my pupils.”  The other man—named Saga—turned to his uncle. “He’s one of my pupils in University, uncle.”

Surprisingly, the two adults laughed and left both Tora and Saga confused. They looked at each other for a while before turning to their respective uncles again.

“Well this is a coincidence!” Yuu said between laughter.

“Indeed. Who would’ve thought that you two are in the same university.” Gackt said, an amused smile adorned his face.

“You are?” Tora asked Saga confusedly.

Yuu was the one who answered. “He is. Tora, my nephew is also a university student studying in the classical music department.”

“Oh... Then, how come you’re a lecturer for the cinema students?” Tora asked again, still confused.

This time, it was Saga who answered. “Ah, I know about the basics of cinema theories so I volunteered to work as a lecturer’s assistant.”

“Okay. That answers everything then.” Tora said as he nodded.

“I’m sorry, guys, but we have to end our little chat. Show is starting soon and I need to get ready. You should go to your seats too.” Gackt announced as he gestured them towards the door.

“Okay. Break a leg, my dear!” Yuu said and kissed Gackt on the lips again before circling his arms around his nephew’s shoulder, walking towards the door.

Tora grabbed Gackt’s arm before he could let him out of his side.

“Uncle! Are you sure you just met him? You’re not setting me up, right?” Tora whispered frantically to his uncle.

Gackt was confused. “Of course I’m not! It really is my first time meeting him! What’s wrong?”

Tora leaned closer and whispered again. “That was the beauty I was talking about...”

Gackt was silent for a while, eyebrow raised. “Are you sure? But your beauty’s name is Sakamoto Takashi and—Oh...” He stopped midway when he remembered the young adult’s introduction.

_My name is Sakamoto Takashi but people call me Saga._

“Well, this is really _is_ a coincidence and weird! If you two really get together, it’ll be very weird!” Gackt laughed at his own thoughts.

“Nonsense! We don’t even know if Taka—I mean _Saga_ , is gay.” Tora frowned at his own thoughts now.

“You’re right. But he really is a beauty. You have great taste, Tora. Just like your uncle.”

Gackt grinned at his own narcissism and Tora hit him in the gut playfully.

“I told you so.” He mumbled shyly although his face was still the same stoic expression.

Gackt chuckled. “Then go, sit beside him before Yuu steals it. Get to know him. God had planned your meeting sooner than you thought.”

Tora didn’t know why he blushed hearing that from his uncle. He nodded and wished his uncle good luck before leaving the backstage room to get to the concert hall. When he arrived, he was somehow glad when he saw an empty seat beside Saga. Yuu was seating on the other side of Saga and he immediately waltz in to take the empty seat. Saga greeted Tora again and leaned back into the seat. Tora smiled and took a glance at Saga again before turning his full attention to the stage.

\--

Gackt’s performance was amazing as always and this was the time where the love relationship appears. The songs were always full of emotions; from happy to sad. It flawless as ever; not even a single mistake. The speech that Gackt gave after the performance was also touching. He could see some of the audiences cried with joy with his performance. No wonder Gackt’s status as being the top class conductor never decreased.

“That was the most amazing performance I’ve ever seen. I regretted for taking this long to see him.”

Tora could hear Saga talking to him as they exited the backstage of the venue. They had just finished seeing Gackt, telling him that he did a great job and other praises. The both of them were quickly dismissed then after taking a picture together and oddly enough that Gackt needed Yuu for a while so it was only the both of them who got out. He knew that Gackt was setting them up now but he wasn’t complaining. It was actually the opposite. Tora was somehow relieved when Saga accepted his offer to smoke and here they were, outside the backstage of the venue.

Tora took a long drag from his cigarette before responding to the other man.

“Yeah. His performances are always amazing. And I’m not saying this because I’m his nephew. He really has the talent ever since he was small...or that was what my mother said.”

Saga chuckled. “It shows. I always see him on televisions and I was surprised when I found out that my own uncle was his lover and they were already dating five years by that time. I never got to see him because I live so far and Gackt was always not with him whenever uncle Yuu visits. Strange, huh?”

“Not really. Because Gackt rarely visits my mother too. He’s just so busy, that’s why. I think its stranger that I’m so close to him since elementary school even though we don’t see each other much.”

They both laughed and took another drag of the cigarette.

“I was quite surprised though when I knew that you were Gackt’s nephew. Who would have thought that my own pupil is the nephew of the most famous conductor in Japan and a lover of my uncle?”

Saga giggled at his own thought and Tora could swear that his heart skipped a beat when he heard that adorable, velvet voice. This was bad, Tora thought. Saga really was the epitome of an angel.

Tora also laughed. “I think I can say the same. I guess life really gives you big surprises sometimes, huh?”

They laughed again and Tora decided to change the topic because he was curious of Saga’s age. His uncle had told him that Saga was around his age but the other man looked much younger. And so Tora just cut to the chase.

“Say, my uncle told me that you’re around my age but I believe that you’re much younger than me so... how old are you?”

Saga grunted. “Do I really have a childish face? Everyone keeps saying that I don’t look like my age.”

Tora just gave him an apologetic smile.

Saga sighed and took one last drag before putting out the cigarette, throwing it to the ashtray nearby the entrance door.

“I’m 19.” He simply answered.

“What?! But you’re already sophomore year!” Tora said; eyes wide in surprise.

“Junior year, actually. I went too early because I was home-schooled and when I was eligible enough to go to university, I took the entrance exam.”

“That’s even more amazing!” Tora praised more and frowned. “Wait, why were you home-schooled?”

“My parents were super busy so they hired a private teacher instead. I’m an only child so they have high hopes for me and make me focus on studying. But then I found my passion in playing the piano when I was seven and they supported me fully, making me learn the piano, and then I found my passion in classical music.”

Tora was drowning in Saga’s voice that he didn’t realize the other had stopped. Saga’s voice was really like music and he wondered his piano playing was. Maybe it is even more beautiful. It was Saga’s soft utterance then that snapped Tora out of his reverie.

“I’m sorry I talked too much. Was I boring you?” Saga chuckled nervously.

Tora smiled widely. “No! Of course, not! It’s interesting! If you don’t mind, I would love to know more about you. You’re an amazing person, Saga!”

“I’m not, really...” Tora was somehow delighted to see Saga’s face adorned with a faint blush as the younger man said that. “I think it’s your turn now to tell me about yourself!”

Tora was even more amused when Saga was trying to defend himself. He laughed and smirked at the beautiful man.

“Well, what would you like to know? You know my real name already so let’s skip that. I’m 21 years old and the reason why I’m taking the Movie Department is because I like making scripts. I would like to work at the film industry in the future.”

Saga raised a fine eyebrow. “21? You started late?”

“Yeah. I got an internship after I graduated from high school to Canada and worked as an assistant director for a year.”

“Whoa! Does that mean you speak English?! Tora, that’s great!”

Tora chuckled and shook his head. “I think it’s common now for Japanese to be able to speak English.”

Saga shrugged. “I can’t speak that well. But it’s great that you got an opportunity. You must be really good at the movie field.”

“I’m not, really. I still have many things to learn. You, on the other hand, are great. Classical piano is hard and you know how to play it! Now, that’s really amazing.”

Saga laughed. “Stop it, will you? You’re praising me too much.”

“But it’s the truth!” Tora grinned.

Tora somehow felt warm inside. He was happy that he finally got the chance to talk properly with Sakamoto Takashi; the person he had been thinking about ever since he saw him. It didn’t help him stop the feelings too now, especially when Saga was smiling so happily like that. He was really gorgeous wearing the suit, hair slicked back; making his eyes more visible and Tora couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful chocolate orbs. He sometimes wondered how a man can be that beautiful.

“Hey, Tora. I really enjoyed talking with you so...can you do me a very selfish favor?” Saga said, voice a pinch of hesitancy.

Tora frowned, worried about what the favor was. “What is it?”

“Can we be...professionals in class? It’s not that I don’t wanna engage a friendship with my pupils but I’ve had experiences about that and I don’t want to repeat the same mistake again.”

“Oh... Does that mean we can’t hang out in school?”

“Of course we can! Like I said, I really enjoyed talking with you, but I don’t want my other students to know me personally. You know what I mean, right?”

Tora nodded. “Yeah, I think I do. Okay then, we’re lecturer and student in class but outside, we’re friends, right?” Tora asked, hopefully not sounding very desperate.

“Yeah, of course!”

Tora smiled at Saga’s answer and laughed. Saga joined him and soon they were both done with their cigarettes. Tora felt like tonight was a miracle and he was finally going to admit to himself that he really does like Saga. He knows that it might be too early because he doesn’t know the real Saga yet but he was sure; that Saga’s heart was also beautiful. He strongly believes at that. And Tora couldn’t help the smile that stayed on his face when he finally arrived home. After talking for some time with his uncle, Tora decided to get ready for bed and end the night. But before that, he had to do something first because he cannot wait to tell this to the person he trusted the most with his random things. He picked up his cell phone and grinned when the other line was still awake.

“Shou, you cannot believe what just happened to me!”


	3. "I always think about you in my every step."

Tora was happy when it turned out that what he had believed in was true; that Saga’s heart was as beautiful as he looks. He learned that Saga was the kind of person who doesn’t complain much and appreciate every little thing. Sure that he was a flirt and can be very moody but he never troubles anyone with his moodiness. And it also turned out that Saga was popular in the Music Department. Both guys and girls have constantly asked him out. He saw it with his own eyes when he was hanging out with Saga and Saga always gave them that he will think about it as an answer. He eventually accepted two or three but it was just one time. He never heard Saga going out for real with someone—which Tora was glad of.

As for their relationship, like as what Tora had promised, at class they were lecturer and student, but maybe Tora was a little bit too much at asking about assignments just for excuse. Saga never complained though. And when they were outside class, they hangout; eating lunch together, going to movie and music stores and just sit at a nearby café to talk.

Tora had also introduced Shou to Saga and Shou was a little bit awkward at first at befriending his own substitute lecturer but soon, they became close. Shou’s reaction when Tora told him about the night of his uncle’s performance and meeting Sakamoto Takashi as Saga was priceless, for Tora. The brunette was shocked and laughed, amused by the too-good-to-be-true coincidence. Two days after the incident, Tora introduced Shou to Saga. And like Tora, Shou also kept the professional relationship in class. The three of them often hangout from then but not as often as Tora and Saga together. Tora knew that Shou often declined his offer to hang out together with Saga because he wanted Tora to be alone with Saga and he was grateful for that.

“Stop grinning like an idiot and help me think of the concept for our finals’ project.”

Tora was awoken from his reverie and blinked; he then just realized that he had been smiling while daydreaming. He looked at his surroundings and remembered what he was doing. They were in the campus library to think of a concept for their finals and somewhere in between, Tora’s mind suddenly drifted off to Saga. This was bad, Tora thought. He had been thinking too much of Saga lately and not about his finals.

“Time sure flies, huh? It’s our finals and in two weeks, we’ll start a new semester again.” Tora said as he sighed and turned the page of the book he had been reading for materials.

“Yeah, good thing you knew Saga already. Otherwise, we might not even be taught by him again, or Kimisawa-sensei for that matter in the next semester.” Shou said as he typed down his ideas for the concept on his laptop.

“I guess I’m just that lucky, huh?” Tora grinned again and shoved the book to Shou, pointing the paragraph he wanted Shou to type.

Shou just shook his head out of amusement and adjusted his glasses again.

“I wonder if I can meet him today. He hasn’t replied my message since last night.” Tora thought again.

Shou turned to his friend and groaned. “Tora, will you please stop thinking about him and focus on this project? Our deadline is in a few days.”

Tora just shrugged. “Sorry.”

Shou nodded and began to type again while Tora was trying so hard to focus. Maybe he really was beginning to fall for the chestnut haired man and maybe it’s not so bad after all.

\--

They managed to finish the concept after working on it for three whole hours. Both Tora and Shou were relieved now that the hardest part of the project was done. They could at least relax a little before working for the next step.

It was five in the afternoon when they exited the library. The sun had already begun to set and Tora heard Shou groaned beside him as they both stopped midway.

"What?" Tora asked curiously.

"I just remembered that I promised Hiroto to accompany him on buying new lenses for his camera." Shou sighed and glanced at his watch.

"Oh, what time did you guys promised to meet?"

"5.30."

"He had an afternoon class? That means he's out now. You should go and meet him." Tora suggested as he tightened his shawl around his neck.

"How about you?"

Tora shrugged. "I'll just go home. Probably hangout with Saga if I'm lucky." He chuckled at the end of his sentence.

Shou laughed. "Damn, bro. You're really falling for him." He said as he hit Tora's arm playfully and Tora just grinned sheepishly. "Okay, I’m going ahead then. See you tomorrow. Have fun with Saga...” He said as he walked backwards to the opposite side and trailed. “That is if you meet him.” Shou’s last sentence was sort of a mockery and he laughed as he ran, avoiding Tora’s glare.

When Shou was finally out of sight, Tora turned to his side and fished out his phone out of his coat pocket. He slid across the screen and frowned when there were no replies from Saga.

Was the younger man really that busy? Well... It was the last weeks towards finals so maybe the gorgeous substitute lecturer was really busy with his composition for his final. Tora was contemplating if he should call Saga or not. But what if the other man was in the middle of making his composition? Tora didn’t want to bother him.

It seemed that he really was in a very deep thought that he didn’t hear the footsteps that had walked towards him. He jumped when he heard Saga’s voice calling him, eyes wide and mouth opened wide.

“You know you’re really scary when you’re in a deep thought like that.” Saga said as he laughed.

“Dammit! You really surprised me!” Tora said as he groaned.

Saga stopped laughing but smiling amusedly instead. “Really? I didn’t even call you that loudly!”

_Not from that but surprised how a lucky coincidence it was..._

“Not from that. It’s from you suddenly appearing right in front of me when I was thinking deeply whether to call you or not.”

Tora had just realized what he had said a few seconds later. He bit his bottom lip nervously when he noticed the sudden change in Saga’s expression. It was surprised and Tora could swear that he saw a tiny shade of pink coloring the other’s gorgeous cheekbones. He watched as Saga’s face turns into an uncomfortable one and averted his eyes from Tora. 

“I’m sorry... was that awkward? I mean—”

“No!” Saga interjected what Tora was about to say with an unusual tone and Tora stopped, staring at Saga confusedly.

“I mean...” Saga tried to continue but was finding hard to speak. “I... Honestly... It was kind of endearing... that you thought about me.”

“O-Oh... Well...” Tora was more nervous now. Does that mean Saga wasn’t feeling uncomfortable? “I was wondering why you didn’t reply my message. And I thought about whether to call you or not. I was hesitating because I thought that you were busy working on your composition. I didn’t want to bother you...” Tora ended his explanation with a nervous laugh.

“Oh! I’m so sorry. I read your message, Tora. But I was so late this morning that I didn’t have the time to reply you. And you know... working on the composition and consulting it can make you forget time and when I was finally done for the day, I decided to reply you but then I saw you.” Saga explained, hoping to make the awkward atmosphere between them to disappear.

Tora smiled and laughed in relieve. “Oh! I see! I’m glad I didn’t call you. Otherwise, I’ll be disturbing you, right?”

Saga shook his head. “Not at all! Besides, I always turn my phone into silent mode whenever I’m working on my composition and it rings when the caller calls for the third time. Which usually are emergencies...”

“Ah, is that so.” Tora nodded and smiled wider.

“What are you doing here, anyway? Didn’t you have a day off?” Saga asked as he adjusted his coat.

“Oh, I had a sudden make-up class this afternoon and after that decided to work on the concept for the project for finals with Shou.” Tora answered as he put back his phone inside his pocket.

“Aw... you guys are so lucky to do the project in groups.” Saga sighed in jealousy.

“Not really... I honestly prefer to work alone because it can be so irritating sometimes.”

Saga laughed. “Oh, I know how you feel.”

Tora gave him a lopsided grin. “Yeah... Anyway, are you going anywhere after this? I’d like to chat with you if you don’t have plans.”

“Sure! I really needed a break and really craving for a hot chocolate.”

Saga said with full excitement in his voice and Tora couldn’t help thinking how adorable he was. He laughed and gave Saga a soft smile.

“Let’s go then.” Tora said as he started to walk.

Saga nodded and walked alongside him, unconsciously holding Tora’s wrist as they walked. Tora was surprised but kept it cool and hoped that Saga will keep holding him until they arrived at their usual café. He didn’t care if people were to stare. He just wanted to feel the warmth radiating from Saga’s hand around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for short chapter. But then again, my first intention was 1,000 words per chapter... Meh XD


	4. “You always held my hand when I was weak and vulnerable.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for not updating for so long! I've been super busy and didn't have the time to post. I hope it didn't make you lose interest with it! Well, here's chapter 4. Hope you enjoy it! Comments are always appreciated <3

The nearby café that they usually hangout was a two-storey building just ten minutes walk from the campus. It was designed with huge windows, making the place naturally bright. It was also designed for students to study, with wood interiors that make it even cozier. The first floor was for students who want to talk and chat and the second floor was for studying, with two computers available. Tora and Saga had found a comfortable place near the window and it has always been their usual place ever since they started to hang out together.

“So, how was your composition going?” Tora asked as he leaned onto the back of his propped hand.

Saga took a sip of his hot cocoa before answering. “It’s okay...although it’s going nowhere near done.” He sighed and leaned against the chair.

Tora smiled. “Don’t worry, it’ll be great. Finals is still two weeks so you don’t need to pressure yourself.”

“Thanks...” Saga smiled in return and frowned when he remembered something. He groaned and cursed, slapping his own forehead.

“What’s wrong?” Tora asked, eyes wide in surprise.

“I forgot my keys.” Saga said as he pouted. “And my roommate is going to be home late because he’s out buying new equipments for his camera.” 

“I can accompany you until he gets back if you want.” Tora offered as he took a spoonful of his chiffon cake.

“Oh, Tora! You’re so nice!” Saga beamed happily, leaning closer to the table.

Tora chuckled at Saga’s response, feeling his heart skipped a beat again seeing Saga so utterly adorable.

“How old was he again? Photography major student, right?” Tora asked again.

Saga nodded. “He just turned 17 last month. He’s even younger than I was when he entered.”

“I still don’t understand why you’re moved to being his roommate even though you’re already there for almost three years. I don’t get the way the school dorms work on assorting the students."

“Me too. It’s not that I don’t like being roommates with him but I really miss Nao. I still can’t believe that he’s Shou’s roommate and I didn’t know his real name so I didn’t know that Shou was Ohara Kazamasa who turned out to be my pupil also.” Saga giggled at his last words.

“Coincidences are sometimes funny, ne? I still don’t understand also why you two never meet each other although you’re in the same building!”

“Hey! Nao was on the other side of the building. It’s kind of a bother to go down the stairs, passing the hall and study room and up again the stairs just to go pick him up. And Nao even said that Shou is rarely studying in the study room so that’s another reason why we never met.”

“True. He prefers to study in the library instead or at the café.”

“See? So it’s not that hard to understand why I never met Shou.”

Tora laughed. “Okay, okay. Back to the main topic,” He said and took a sip of his coffee. “How was he so young on entering uni?”

“He excelled both in middle school and high school. I have to admit that he really is smart. He teaches at a private school for his part time.”

Tora’s ears perked up at hearing Saga’s answer and Saga stopped midway when he saw that.

“What?” He asked.

Tora shook his head. “Nothing. I just have a friend who has a similar situation. A photography student also but freshmen year.”

Now it was Saga’s turn to be surprised. “My roommate is also a freshmen year! Tora, don’t tell me we’re talking about the same person!”

Tora raised an eyebrow. “What’s his name, then?”

“Hiroto.”

“Ogata Hiroto?” Tora tilted his head to the side curiously.

“Yes!” Saga beamed again. “Oh my God! This is weird!”

Tora’s mouth was wide open between awe and surprised, then laughed. “What’s even weirder that he’s Shou’s boyfriend!”

Saga was jumping from his seat now, feeling excited. “No way! You’re kidding, right?!”

“No! He has been for three years. Hiroto has been Shou’s high school sweetheart until now.”

“Hiroto did tell me that he has a boyfriend and had him for a long time. Who would’ve thought that it’s your own best friend?!”

Both Tora and Saga laughed at Saga’s rhetorical question. Their conversation continued, changing topics, leading from one to another filled with laughter. Unfortunately, it was interrupted by the loud vibration of Saga’s phone that was lying on the table. They both stopped and stared at the caller ID. Saga frowned confusedly as he picked up his phone.

“It’s uncle Yuu. I wonder what’s up...” He glanced at Tora before receiving the call, pressing the device against his ear. “Yes, uncle?”

Tora watched Saga the whole time the younger man was speaking.

“Whoa...! Uncle calm down! What happened??” Saga glanced at Tora. “Yeah, he’s with me. What’s wrong?”

Tora frowned when he saw the younger man’s expression turned from confusion to shock. Saga’s eyes were wide, mouth opened wide and his hands were shaking so was his voice.

“O-Okay! I’ll tell him. We’ll be there soon, uncle! Please hold on!” Saga hung up as soon as he said that, shoving his phone into his jeans pocket before putting on his jacket.

“Saga...what’s up? Is uncle Yuu alright?” Tora furrowed his eyebrows as he watched the other man.

“Tora, put your jacket on and let’s go.” Saga said, bag already in his hands and was about to go.

Tora did as what Saga told him and caught up with the other man who was already near the door. Once they were outside, Tora caught Saga’s wrist and force the younger man to turn to him.

“Saga, seriously, what’s going on?” Tora asked again, his voice was full with worry.

Saga put both of his hands on either side of Tora’s shoulder before finally speaking, “Tora,” He said, voice soft and careful. “Gackt is in the hospital. He got into a car accident just 30 minutes ago and now in a critical condition.”

“WHAT?!” Tora shouted, not believing what Saga had told him, backing away from the younger man.

“Tora, don’t panic, please. Let’s go to the hospital now!” Saga said as he grabbed Tora’s wrist and dragged him to get a taxi.

Tora could only follow him like a soulless human. His mind was already elsewhere thinking about the worst scenarios. Even when he got inside the cab, all he could do was stare into nothingness. Saga told the driver to drive fast and rubbed Tora’s back, hoping that it will sooth him as he silently prayed for Gackt’s safety.

\--

They were greeted by a panicking Yuu once they arrived at the hospital lobby. They didn’t even have time to ask about the original situation because Yuu had ushered them to go where Gackt was in a hurry. They half ran to their destination and stopped when they heard Yuu telling them to stop. Tora was about to enter the ICU room but Yuu stopped him, telling him that no one was allowed to go in as the doctors were trying to save the conductor’s life. Yuu could see that Gackt’s nephew was on the verge of panic as he saw the unshed tears reflected in the young adult’s eyes.

“Uncle Yuu, what happened? How did he get into this situation?” Saga asked as Yuu was trying to calm Tora down, voice filled with concern.

“I’ll tell you the whole story. Can you guys please sit down?” Yuu said in a firm tone but the worry in his voice was still visible.

Saga was the one who managed to calm Tora down and the three sat on the empty seats just in front of the ICU room. Yuu wrapped an arm around Tora’s shoulder, rubbing his shoulder in hoping to sooth the panicking man. When Tora’s breathing was calmer, Yuu started with his story.

“Honestly, I don’t know because I was at work too and got a phone call from the hospital, saying that Gackt was in ICU and told me to rush here. They tried calling you, Tora, because you were one of the favorite contacts in his phone. But they couldn’t reach you.”

Tora turned to Yuu with guilt in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Uncle Yuu... My phone was in my bag and it was on silent mode...” He said with shaky voice.

“I understand. That’s why they called me and I didn’t know how else I could contact you so my only option was to ask Saga. I’m glad he was with you.” Yuu smiled at his nephew. “Then when I arrived here, the person who called the ambulance had witnessed the accident. A speeding car trying to hit the red light had crashed into Gackt right on the side of his car. I didn’t get to see how Gackt’s condition was. He was already in the ICU when I came.”

“Fuck that damn driver! I swear, if anything happens to Uncle G, I’m gonna sue him and make him pay!” Tora shouted furiously, enraged with hatred.

“Tora! Calm down!” Yuu shouted back soothingly as he hugged his lover’s nephew.

Saga could only watch, he was afraid from both the fear of Gackt’s outcome and Tora’s upset mode so he just stayed silent, biting his lower lip in worry.

When the doctor finally came out the room, both Tora and Yuu approached him like a madman; asking him questions about Gackt’s condition.

“The good news is, he had passed his critical state. He lost a lot of blood and his head was bumped pretty hard that we had to pump the blood out to prevent it from swelling. He’s fine now but the bad news is, because of the hard collide of his head, we don’t know when he will wake up...”

The last sentence from the doctor’s words made Tora’s heart burst into complete fear. His eyes went wide, mouth opened slightly from fear and shock. Yuu took Tora’s hand for support and frowned.

“Can we...see him, doctor?” Yuu asked.

“I will only allow one person at a time because he had just finished from operation.” The doctor answered with a firm tone.

“We understand...” Yuu said as he nodded and turned to Tora. “Tora... Do you want to see him first?” He asked in a soft whisper.

Tora’s expression had turned solemn now as he turned to Yuu and nodded. “Yes...Please...”

Yuu smiled and bowed slightly at the doctor as the doctor left to tend another patient. Yuu slowly guided Tora to the room where Gackt was, hand still holding Tora’s firmly. When they were finally in front of the double doors, Yuu urges him gently to go in and Tora nodded at him before pushing the door open.

When Tora was finally inside, he was immediately greeted by the body lying on the hospital bed. He walked closer to it and stood beside it. There, lay Gackt’s body; arms connected with the IV tubes, left arm bandaged and the side of the face were scarred with small scratches. What concerned the most for Tora was his head. Gackt’s head was bandaged as well. His uncle looked pretty bad and that made Tora’s remorse even worst.

He took Gackt’s hand and kneeled on the floor. He stared at his uncle’s face for a moment before leaning his forehead against the back of Gackt’s hand, sobbing softly.

“Please wake up soon, uncle... Don’t leave us yet, please...” Tora pleaded in a whisper like a prayer.

He stayed there for a while, letting out his emotions and broke his walls. He was so scared of losing his favorite uncle because he was like a second father to Tora. Gackt was the only uncle that he was close to and he was scared if he were to lose him this early.

Putting aside the negative thought, Tora finally stood up and decided to leave. He didn’t want to break down even more than he already was because he knew that he needed to be strong. He squeezed his uncle’s hand for the last time before turning around and exited the room.

Yuu was still in front of the door and he immediately hugged Tora when the young adult came out. Tora let himself bury his face on Yuu’s shoulder. Yuu gave him soothing words in hopes of making Tora better. Yuu finally let go when he felt Tora lifting away from the older man. Tora nodded, signaling for Yuu to go in. When Yuu finally went in, he saw Saga still sitting on the bench, looking worriedly at him. Tora smiled bitterly at the younger man as he approached him. He took a seat beside Saga and leaned his forehead on his propped up hands on his knees.

“How was he...?” Saga asked softly.

Tora shook his head. “Pretty bad...” He answered in a hoarse voice.

Saga frowned as he bit his lower lip again. His hands clasped together as he watched Tora lifting up his head to look up at the ceiling, trying so hard not to cry. He sighed and leaned his forehead again against the palm of his propped hand. The other hand was lying on his thighs. Saga didn’t miss the single tear that fell as Tora did that. Without thinking, Saga took Tora’s free hand and held it, squeezing it for support.

“It’s gonna be okay, Tora...”

Saga didn’t know what to say except for that. He was the kind of person who was not very good to cheer people up so all he could do was be there for them and be their support. He rubbed the back of Tora’s hand with his other hand soothingly. Tora turned his head slightly to see Saga and smiled softly as he muttered a ‘thank you’. Saga just nodded and continued to run circles on the back of Tora’s hand affectionately as they both enjoyed the comfortable silence.

The next day though, when Tora has just finished with his class, he suddenly got a call from Saga and hurried to the hospital as soon as he heard Saga’s cheery voice through the phone speaker. When he arrived there and went to the floor where his uncle was hospitalized, he found Saga standing in front of his uncle’s room door, waiting for him.

“Saga!”

He called and Saga immediately responded to the call by turning to him with the biggest and most gorgeous smile in Tora’s eyes. Tora didn’t realize that he had gathered the younger man into a bear hug, letting out his happiness. Saga just laughed and hugged back, patting the young adult on the back.

“Sorry...” Tora mumbled sheepishly as soon as they were apart.

Saga just shook his head and smiled, leading Tora to the door. Tora nodded and opened the double door, greeted by the sight of his uncle already sitting up on the bed with Yuu standing beside Gackt’s bed. Tora ran to the older man and hugged his beloved uncle.

“I’m so glad you’re awake!” Tora said with pure joy in his voice.

Gackt winced and tried to get his nephew off him. “Dumbass! I’m still in pain!”

Tora just laughed and finally let go of his uncle, grinning sheepishly.

“Damn...” Gackt grunted as he readjusted his bandaged arm. “I can’t conduct for a week now. This really sucks...”

“You should sue the driver, uncle!” Tora exclaimed.

Gackt scoffed. “I’ll deal with that later. Right now, I need to heal and get back to my rehearsal.”

“I can’t believe you! You just had a severe accident and all you think about is work!”

“I’m happy to see you too.”

Gackt’s calm statement had shut Tora up. Saga just snickered and Tora turned to the younger man with a pout.

“Thank you for visiting me too, Saga.” Gackt said with a smile at Saga.

Saga stepped closer to the patient and bowed slightly. “It’s nothing, Mr. Gackt. We were all so worried about you. I’m glad that you’re doing okay.”

“Please, stop with the mister. Just call me uncle because you’re going to be my nephew in law too very soon.” Gackt said with voice full of mischievousness.

Saga’s face fell into a confused one. “I’m sorry?”

“Uncle G!” Tora scolded.

Gackt just laughed as Saga was still looking at the two confusedly, trying to find the meaning to Gackt’s words and Yuu just shrugged his nephew off. Tora just grinned and Saga narrowed his eyes, eyeing the older man suspiciously. Yuu was the one then who stopped them.

“Alright guys, I need to wipe this man’s body now. He needs to take a shower.” Yuu said as he got up from his seat.

“Translation: Let me have an alone time with your uncle.” Tora said with a teasing grin.

“Shut up. Come back when I’m done. Now, shoo!” Gackt said as he gestured for the two to get out.

Saga shook his head in amusement and started to back off to the door. Tora winked before scurrying out of the room with Saga before Gackt can even glare at his nephew. When the door was finally closed, Yuu went to the wardrobe to get a towel and then to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Gackt was looking at the small window placed between the double doors. He could see what his nephew and his lover’s nephew were doing; sitting on the bench and talk with huge smiles on their faces. Gackt subconsciously smiled at that and Yuu saw that.

“What are you looking at?” Yuu asked as he sat next to Gackt again, a basin of water in his lap and a wash cloth on his right hand.

“They look good together, don’t you think, Yuu?” Gackt said with a fond tone.

Yuu looked at the window too. “They do. Tora looks so happy whenever he is with him.” He responded as he started to wipe Gackt’s body.

“That’s because he’s in love with your nephew, Yuu.” Gackt spilled out.

Yuu stopped for a while and stared at Gackt for a moment; eyes wide in between surprised and amused. “Really?”

Gackt turned to his lover and nodded. “Please keep it a secret. He admitted to me after he told me that he had a gorgeous substitute lecturer and after Tora met Saga, it became more obvious.” Gackt chuckled at the end of his sentence.

“Wow... Now that explains why he’s so sparkling whenever Saga is with him..."

“Would you accept their relationship, Yuu?” Gackt’s tone was a serious one.

“Of course... Why would I not accept it?” Yuu frowned.

“Because... they’re our nephews... Do you think it’s weird once we get married and they are together too?”

Yuu chuckled. “They’re our _nephews_ , Gacchan, not _children_.”

Gackt also laughed at his own silly questions. “You’re right...”

Yuu nodded and finished the last wipe on Gackt’s abs. Once he was done, he went back to the bathroom to finish up.

“Do you think... Saga is gay, Yuu?” Gackt asked again and Yuu could still hear it from the bathroom.

Yuu didn’t answer immediately though until he finished his task. He answered once he was back to the room again and walked to the double doors, peeking at the small window again only to see the two young adults laughing happily.

“Saga never cared about labels. He always believed that love is love. He has my sister’s heart, Gacchan... They were both supportive when I told them that I was dating a man...” Yuu paused and smiled. “Honestly... I’ll be very happy if he ends up with Tora. I’ve known Tora since he was ten and he turned into a great, loving, responsible man. I’m sure he can take care of my dearest nephew.”

Gackt smiled also. “Thanks Yuu... I hope they really do work out because I can see that Tora loves him so much.”

Yuu nodded. “I hope so too, Gacchan. I hope Saga realizes Tora’s feelings soon because...” Yuu trailed, his expression turned into a gloomy one.

Gackt frowned also. “Because...?”

Yuu turned to Gackt.

“I think Saga is in love with someone else...”


	5. “You always sooth me with your gentle words and successfully erase my pain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! I hope you enjoy this as well! The drama is coming and it's going to be longer for the next three chapters so please look forward to it! As always, comments or kudos are always appreciated <3

The sound of a playing piano was heard from the music room and the source of the sound was coming from a certain pianist, sitting on the piano stool, eyes narrowed in concentration as he pressed the keys rather hurriedly. Saga then stopped when he felt that the melody wasn’t right. He tried to play again, trying to match the melody with the chorus that he had come up earlier. After a few more attempts and edits, it still doesn’t sound right. The young pianist banged on the keys as he yelled out his anger out of frustration.

 “Damn it! What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I get the melody, right? What the hell am I lacking?!” He shouted, banging on the keys with each sentences.

Saga sighed heavily and threw his head to the keys, not caring about the pain at all. He had been here for almost two hours and couldn’t even come up with a single melody that will go well with the chorus. He knew that there was something lacking within him but he didn’t know what it was. Or maybe it was just because that he’s panicking due to finals getting near and he was nowhere near done.

“You know...”

He jumped and lifted his head abruptly when he heard someone talking behind him then turned to the culprit as he breathed heavily out of shock.

“....the sound can be heard down until the campus ground.”

Saga scowled and hit the said culprit in the stomach angrily.

“Fuck you, Tora!”

Tora just laughed at Saga’s annoyance because he found it too cute seeing the younger man’s expression. The pianist ignored him then turned back to the keys. Tora took the chance to sit beside his friend, facing the room instead of the piano so the two of them were face to face.

“What are you doing here? It’s 7 and your class ended two hours ago.” Saga asked without looking at the man as he tried to think again.

“Finishing the project for finals with Shou as usual. The professor finally approved our final draft so now we can complete it.” Tora answered as he leaned his elbows into the keys, reclining against the piano.

“How did you even know that it was me in the music room?”

“Your piano playing... I don’t know I kinda memorized by now.” Tora answered as he shrugged, looking up at Saga’s concentrated look. “It’s not going well...huh?”

Saga sighed loudly and shook his head. “I’ve been here for a while and I can’t even think up of a single melody for the chorus.” He then put his fingers on the keys again and started playing random melodies as he started to babble in pure frustration. “Finals is coming in a week and I’m nowhere near done. What if I can’t finish this in time? What if I have to repeat another semester and can’t complete my studies within the standard time? What if—”

“Saga!” Tora shouted as he sat up again and placed a hand on top of Saga’s.

Saga stopped then, breathing heavily and felt his whole body shaking in fear. Tora shifted closer and took the other’s hand with both of his hands, rubbing it soothingly in hopes of calming the younger man down.

“Take it easy... Getting frustrated won’t get you anywhere. Take a deep breath and exhale. Calm down...” The movie student said with a soothing tone.

The pianist did as he was told; closing his eyes and took a deep breath, then exhaled. Saga kept on repeating this while Tora continued to calm him with soothing words. After a few minutes, the younger man was finally calmed and he finally turned to his friend.

“Thanks, Tora... I’m feeling better now.”

Tora smiled. “Good. You have to calm down, Saga. Maybe you can’t think up of a melody because you’re too stressed. Take a break and refresh your mind.” He said, still with the same soothing tone.

Saga finally smiled and nodded. “Yeah... Maybe I should do that.”

“You should.” Tora commanded sternly which made the younger man laugh.

The elder man finally let go of Saga’s hand and stood up from the piano bench, putting a hand on Saga’s shoulder.

“Let’s go home then. You need your break. Maybe we can eat pizza for dinner.”

Saga’s ears perked up at the word ‘pizza’ and immediately turned to the other man with sparkling eyes.

“Yes, please! I haven’t eaten since lunch!”

“What?!”

Saga grinned, feeling guilty. “Yeah... I just realize it now that I’m hungry.” He scratched his head sheepishly.

Tora sighed exasperatedly. “Well don’t just sit there! Let’s go eat!”

“Yes, sir!”

Tora laughed at Saga’s response and soon Saga stood up from the bench, closed the piano and proceeding to clear up his things. When he was done, he followed Tora to the door, face adorned with a smile of pure ecstasy.

\--

“Saga! Slow down! You’re going to choke yourself if you continue to eat like that!” Tora chided as he took Saga’s hand to prevent the man from eating.

“Hey!” Saga protested and tried to let go of himself from Tora’s grasp. “It’s fine, Tora. I always eat like this. I thought you should know that by now.”

“I know you eat fast but this is different. You’re eating like a madman.” Tora said, finally letting go of the younger man’s wrist. “We’re not in a rush, Sagacchi, so take your time.”

“Okay! Okay!” Saga huffed. “And since when did I let you call my name as you like?”

It was supposed to be a rhetorical question but Tora answered it, anyway.

“It fits you.”

Saga rolled his eyes and stared at the man with narrow eyes. “Then I get to choose too, Tora _shi_.”

“ _shi_? Seriously?” Tora said with an amused smile.

“Yes, because you sometimes act like an old man.” Saga snickered at his own words.

“I _do_ not!”

Tora’s response just made Saga snicker even louder and the elder man just gave him a glare. The pianist continued eating his pizza then, slower this time since he didn’t want Tora to scold him again. Tora just chuckled and continued eating as well.

“I’m still amazed that you can eat a whole pizza by yourself without getting fat. I’m jealous.” He spoke again after gulping his glass of water.

“Really? You don’t think I’m fat?”

Tora shook his head because it was true. They have been frequently eating pizza together and every time they do, Saga always ordered one whole pizza for himself and still stayed the same.

“No. You’re skinny but I guess it’s proportional with your height and all.”

“Gee thanks, Tora. You’re not bad yourself. I mean, you’re well-built and I’ve always wanted to have muscles but my body just won’t cooperate.”

“Don’t worry, Sagacchi. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

For some reason, Tora’s last words made Saga’s heart skip a beat and he didn’t know why. Was it because of the sincere smile Tora gave while saying that? Or was it because of something else? Saga didn’t want to think so ahead of himself because Tora was a nice person. He’d compliment anyone because he was so brutally honest so why did he suddenly feel this way?

The pianist didn’t realize that he had gone quiet after Tora said that and he only realized when he saw Tora’s smile slowly turning into a frown. Saga was about to say something when his phone suddenly vibrated loudly on the table, making the two jump out of their seats in surprise. Saga cursed and looked at the screen. It was a message, and with Tora’s permission, he opened it.

“Oh, it’s Kimisawa-sensei.” Saga informed and read the message. “It seems that he can’t make it for his morning class on Wednesday so I have to fill in.”

“Yes!” Tora said in triumph.

Saga just chuckled. “Why are you so happy? I thought you like his lecture.”

“Yeah, but honestly speaking? I like your lecturing better. Short but easy to understand.”

“It’s because this course is synching instrumental songs with the movie so I understand a little at least.”

“ _Yoroshiku onegaishimasu, sensei_ ~” Tora sing-songed playfully.

Saga just shook his head at his friend’s behavior. Tora just grinned and continued eating his last slice of his pizza. Saga smiled softly as he watched and thought that he really does like spending his time with Tora.

\--

Tora put down his pen as he looked up again to hear his professor’s lecture. His smile never left his face since his class started because the professor that was lecturing them now was none other than his crush itself. Yes, Tora finally admitted that this feeling he was bearing was love. He was in love with Sakamoto Takashi a.k.a Saga. He knew that he had taken an interest with Saga from the very first but now that he had learned more about the younger man, his interest became bigger and finally realized that he was in love with his professor’s assistant.

His train of thoughts was interrupted then when Saga suddenly called his name to answer a question he had just been asked. Tora answered it without difficulty because he _had_ been listening to the lecture.

Through the whole lesson, Tora’s smile never faded and by the end of the class, he immediately received a punch on his arm by none other than his best friend.

“Didn’t you realize how creepy you looked during the whole lecture?” Shou said with a laugh.

“Really...?”

“Yeah. I was worried you were possessed or something.”

Tora shrugged. “I’m happy. Can’t I express it?”

“Yeah, yeah, because it’s Saga. You really have fallen deep for him, huh?”

“I am…am I?”

Shou gave him a smirk then at his confession and made the said man blush. Tora averted his gaze then and realized that the whole class was gone now but Saga was still there at the table, archiving their assignments. He grinned at Shou and stood up from his seat to approach his professor.

“ _Sensei ~”_

Saga looked up from archiving the papers and was greeted by Tora’s grin.

“Yes, Amano-san?” He asked with exasperated fondness.

“Are you free after this?”

Saga narrowed his eyebrows, thinking thoroughly. “I have a consultation for my composition and after that; I need to hand over these assignments to Kimisawa-sensei. Why?”

“He wants to ask you out on a date, _Sensei_.” Shou chirped in with a teasing tone.

Tora just glared at the other man, earning a laugh from Saga.

“I thought you have another class after this?” Saga asked.

“Well...yeah... How about lunch? Let’s have lunch together?”

“Sure. I’ll contact you then when I’m done with my business.” Saga laughed at his last word.

Tora beamed. “Alright! See you later then, Sagacchi!” He said before turning and ran, exiting the classroom.

Saga just laughed and saw that Shou was still there with him.

“You guys have nicknames now, huh?” Shou said as he smiled amusedly.

“He started it.” Saga responded with a soft smile.

“I guess he really does like you, _sensei_. I hope for the best for both of you.”

Saga stared at the other man confusedly. “What do you mean?”

Shou was about to talk again when Tora suddenly called his name from the door.

“C’mon Shou!” Tora shouted.

Shou just shook his head and started to walk towards his best friend. He turned again to Saga and waved. “See you then, _Sensei_!” He turned back again to Tora and hit the other man’s shoulder. “Why the hell are you telling me to come with you? We’re not even in the same class, _baka_!”

Saga just stared at them with a smile until they were away from the classroom. He sighed then and looked down at the papers. His mind was still wondering what Shou had meant because he sounded serious. Maybe he can ask again the next time they meet.

\--

Tora stretched his arms upward as he walked towards the campus garden. Today’s practical lecture was tiring for him because he had to sample his soon-to-be finished project. The course itself was worth 4 credits so it was four hours long (with a 20 minute break, of course). He was glad though that this was the last course for this semester but then again, the sad part was that he might not get his favorite lecturer again.

The movie student stopped for a moment to look if there was an empty seat for him to wait for Saga. His phone suddenly vibrated then, a message from the devil itself. It read that Saga was going to be a few minutes late because Kimisawa-sensei just arrived at the campus. Tora replied then and looked up again to see two familiar boys sitting on a table. Tora grinned and approached them.

“Hey lovers! Mind if I join you?” He greeted with a grin, his voice cheerful, resulting the two boys startled in surprise.

“Tora! Can’t you see that we’re alone?” Shou scolded.

Tora just pouted and Shou’s lover laughed at that.

“Of course we don’t mind, Tora. Come, join us.” The freshman said as he got up to sit beside Shou instead.

“See, Shou? Why can’t you be as tolerating and sweet as Hiroto?” Tora said as he sat opposite of the couple.

“Whatever. What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you were supposed to be somewhere else with a certain someone.” Shou said again as he raised an eyebrow.

“He’ll be a little late that’s why I’m waiting for him.” Tora responded with a smile.

“Ah, so it’s true that you like Saga.” Hiroto said amusedly, making the person across him flustered.

“Wait, what? W-Who told you that?!” Tora said rather unmanly as he stared at Hiroto with wide eyes.

Shou faked a whistle when Tora’s gaze fell to him, feeling betrayed and Hiroto just giggled.

“You traitor!” He accused.

“Hey! Hiroto _is_ my boyfriend and I tell him everything.” The brown-haired man defended.

“But there are things that are just between your best friend, jerk!” Tora peeved.

“Guys! Don’t fight! And Tora, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about! I promise I won’t tell Saga.” Hiroto said, a smile gracing on his boyish face as he tried to calm down the situation.

Being Shou’s lover since high school, Hiroto knew about Tora’s recent relationship. It was a bad break-up and he remembered how the elder man despised about falling in love. Maybe he didn’t want Hiroto to know because he was wanted to keep his ego but Hiroto really didn’t take Tora’s words seriously about the whole ordeal so he was actually happy that Tora had open up to someone again.

“Whatever man. Now that you know, I can’t do anything about it.” Tora said in defeat, sighing heavily.

“Honestly, I’ve been suspecting it. Even Nao. You’re one obvious guy, Tora. I still can’t believe that Saga hasn’t notice it until now!” The younger of the two laughed at the pianist’s obliviousness.

“Am I? I thought I acted normally like a best friend would...” Tora frowned as he said it.

“Nope. Especially on Saga’s birthday. Didn’t you notice you were acting too fucking sweet to him?” Hiroto giggled as he remembered how Tora was during Saga’s birthday just 5 days ago.

Apparently, Shou laughed along as he too, came to remember it. “I gotta admit, Tora. You never act that sweet with your previous lovers so I’m assuming Saga really is special.”

Tora growled out of embarrassment. “Stop it, you two! I do like him very much, okay? Now stop bullying me!”

The lovers kept laughing though until Tora really glared at them did they stop. Hiroto smiled softly then.

“That’s really sweet of you to still love him even though he might not be able to love you back.”

“Wait, what?!” Tora and Shou both shouted in unison, looking at the photographer with wide eyes.

Hiroto was surprised as well, staring at them confusedly. “Wait, you guys don’t know about it?”

“‘About it?’ What ‘about it’?”

Shou was the one who asked and Tora just stared at Hiroto confusedly indicating that he was has the same question as Shou’s.

“Seriously, Tora? Saga never told you the reason why he became the professor’s assistant even though you guys are so close now?” Hiroto was shocked now.

Tora frowned. “Well... He did tell me the first time he met. That he volunteered to be a professor’s assistant.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

The atmosphere became silent then. Hiroto frowned as he thinks deeply. Tora and Shou just stared at each other confusedly. Shou nodded then and circled an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Pon... Is there something that you’re hiding...?” Shou asked softly.

Hiroto looked up then. “I... Well...” He trailed and bit his lower lip nervously.

“Please tell me, Hiroto... I promise I won’t tell Saga...” Tora begged softly as he clasped his hands together on the table, looking at Hiroto seriously.

Hiroto sighed and nodded. “Well... I didn’t know it directly from Saga but...”

\--

Saga smiled when he spotted his professor sitting on his desk in the lecturers’ room. He bowed to other professors passing by him and stopped right before Kimisawa-sensei when the said professor turned his seat.

“Ah, Sakamoto. Thank you for bringing in my pupils’ assignments.” The professor said as he took the papers from Saga’s offered hand.

Saga just nodded at the handsome professor with a smile and was about to excuse himself when the professor called him again.

“I’m going to photocopy these assignments and would like to ask your help to carry the copies for me afterwards...”

“Oh...sure...”

Saga said timidly as his mind was multi-tasking. He was thinking of Tora because he didn’t want the other to wait too long. But copying these files won’t be long, would it?

The professor smiled and started to walk out of the room then Saga followed, bowing slightly again at the professors passing by. They went to the photocopy room and found it empty. Saga mentally sighed in relief because then he didn’t have to stay long. Other than worrying about Tora waiting too long for him, he was also actually hungry and cannot wait to eat the lunch box take out near their campus.

Saga watched as Kimisawa-sensei was busy with the photocopy machine. When the said machine finally began to do its work, the professor smiled and turned to look at his assistant.

“So, how is your composition going?” He asked as he leaned against the wall opposite the copy machine.

“It’s going well. I receive some help occasionally from a friend.” The pianist answered in a soft tone.

Kimisawa noticed the little soft smile creeping its way on Saga’s face though when he saw the other answering him.

“Ah, a very special friend, I assume?”

Saga didn’t know why he blushed at the next question, causing him to fluster as he answered his professor. “N-No... Just good friends. Really good friend.”

Kimisawa smirked. “Who is it then? Someone I know?”

Saga laughed nervously. “Ah well... maybe you do, maybe you don’t...”

The professor chuckled and crossed his arms. “Ck. Hiding things from me now, huh? I guess you really have grown up now. You used to tell me everything. But I guess now you have your own life now, huh, Takashi? You don’t need to depend on me anymore. But I like how you had become, mature and talented.”

Saga was quite taken aback at the call of his first name. He stared at his professor; brows narrowed in confusion.

“What do you mean...?”

They were surrounded by heavy silent atmosphere then as they both stared at each other. After a while, Kimisawa sighed heavily then, a smile adorning his lips as he adjusted his glasses before looking at the younger man again, serious this time.

“Takashi. There’s something that I’ve been meaning to tell you, for a long time now but I never get the chance because I didn’t want you to think otherwise of me. I have watched you for a long time now and I mean it when I said I like how you have become. You’ve always impressed me ever since I start teaching you about the world. You’re an amazing and wonderful person and I’m happy for witnessing it but because of that also make me hard for me to be near you sometimes.” The professor started to walk closer to Saga as he continued. “I guess now it’s the time that you know the truth about everything because now you’re old enough...”

At this point, Kimisawa was only an inch away from Saga and the pianist could only stare at his professor as he felt a hand touching his cheek. His eyes widened in surprise as he heard the next words, mouth open and body froze as he tried to grasp on what was going on. Meanwhile, in another side of the campus, someone was in the same state as the said person heard what his friend just told him. Heart beating so fast as if he can almost feel that his heart was going to break out of his rib cage and he was struggling to breath.

And there was only one word that crossed his mind.

_Nightmare._


	6. "Don't leave me, please."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deeply apologized for updating this story so slow. I was struggling with a certain chapter that I had to postpone this one many times. I'm still continuing though, don't worry! I plan to finish this. Hopefully, I'll be able to update faster cause I still have so many stories in my mind that I want to share XD And thank you for 100 hits! As a celebration also I'm updating this! Thank you for still sticking up with this story! I hope you enjoy this one too :D
> 
> cross-posted to LJ

“Tora… Earth to Tora!”

Tora jumped at the sudden call from his friend beside him. He was dumbfounded for mere seconds before he shook his head and turned to his company bewilderedly.

Saga frowned out of concern. “Are you okay? You’ve been spacing out for the past five minutes. Your food is getting cold.”

“A-Ah well…” Tora mumbled and turned to look at his food.

It was nowhere near finish. He only took three or four bites before his mind began to wonder off about what Hiroto had told him earlier. Damn, he couldn’t believe he got distracted. He didn’t want Saga to notice that he _was_ bothered by something. It was not the time to discuss about this. He still has lots of information to process on.

“Tora, you’re doing it again.”

The cinema student jumped again at the exasperated tone coming from Saga. Tora sighed and put down his chopsticks.

“I’m sorry, Saga. I was thinking about finals…as always. Somehow I can’t relax properly until finals are over.” Tora felt bad lying to Saga, but he had no choice.

“It is taking our energy so much, huh…” Saga responded with a sigh as well.

A soft breeze passed by then, as if to try to wash away the silent atmosphere between them. After meeting up, they both agreed to have lunch at the campus’ nearby park, buying a _bento_ from their favorite take-out shop and hoped that it could relax them but throughout the time, Tora had been distracted a few times, causing their conversation not going smoothly and Saga was beginning to worry.

“I’m sorry…” Saga finally uttered.

Tora turned to his friend with a puzzled look. “What are you apologizing for?”

“Because of me always asking for your help for my composition, your own projects are all over the place. I’m so sorry for taking so much of your time where you could actually use them to finish your own…” Saga frowned even more and nibbled his lower lip, feeling guilty.

Tora smiled softly. “Hey, c’mon, I never said that.” He put his hand on Saga’s shoulder. “I’m happy I could help. And you’re not taking my time at all. If I think that you do, I would refuse. I thought you know that by now.”

Saga’s frown turned into a giggle as he remembered back to the time when he said the exact same sentence. “Saying it back to me, huh?”

Tora just grinned and chuckled. “Don’t ever feel guilty, okay? Like I said, I’m happy to be able to help you.”

Saga nodded in gratitude. “Thank you, Tora. Two weeks… Two weeks until finals, then it’s over.”

Tora just smiled and nodded, agreeing with the pianist. They continued their lunch again, conversation going more smoothly this time with jokes and laughs. During the whole time though, Tora’s mind was still distracted by Hiroto’s story. It was clinging to his mind like a parasite and he didn’t know how to kill it.

\--

Tora put his glasses down and as he took a break from typing his laptop. He rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands as he let out a tired sigh. He was not tired from working on his assignment; rather, he was tired of being so distracted that he couldn’t focus on it. He glanced at the clock sitting on his study desk. He had been working on it for almost two hours and only came with three pages. It wasn’t like him at all, he knew. But this time, he really was bothered as hell.

He finally gave up and saved his work, turning the laptop on sleep mode before getting up from his desk to launch to his bed, falling his face down. He sighed again and turned his head on his side as his mind began to drift back about the incident.

_“Well… I didn’t know directly from Saga, but…” Hiroto trailed as he tried to find words about what he was going to say._

_The little man was feeling a little bit nervous with two pair of eyes paying attention to him so intently. He saw Shou smiling at him then as if to encourage him and so he took a breath._

_“One day, I just got home from another date with Shou and when I was about to open the door of mine and Saga’s room, I heard that Saga had company. From the voice, I knew that it was Nao. I didn’t know what to do. I was torn between entering or come back later because usually whenever Nao is in our room, it means that Saga is confiding in him. And then, without meaning to, I heard Nao asking about how Saga and a guy named Yuuki was these days. I thought it was just one of their friends and I decided to just leave them be for a while, but the next thing Nao said caught my ears.” Hiroto stopped and bit his lower lip, hesitating on how he should tell on what happened next._

_“Go on, Hiroto.” Encouraged Tora._

_Hiroto nodded. “He said ‘Are you two getting closer now that you’re his assistant?’, and I couldn’t help but get curious. I could tell from Saga’s answer that he was embarrassed getting asked like that. Then they began talking about how Saga had worked hard to get into that position and I found out that they guy named Yuuki was actually Kimisawa-sensei. He mentioned something then being grateful for having this Yuuki guy being the person who taught him everything when he had no one to learn with. Then I finally found out about the reason Saga became Kimsawa-sensei’s assistant. Nao was the one who revealed that Saga has always been talking about Kimisawa-sensei ever since they met and something about how one will do anything to get near to the one they love.”_

_“So…the reason why Saga became Kimisawa-sensei’s assistant is because he has a crush on the professor…?” Shou concluded Hiroto’s story with voice full of hesitancy, not wanting to hurt Tora._

_Hiroto nodded slowly. “Yes. And with Nao knowing… Saga’s feelings might have already been there ever since they met; which was during middle school. That’s a pretty long time, don’t you think?”_

_“Yeah… He might still be keeping it until now…” Shou answered with a frown._

_They both turned to Tora then, who was looking straight ahead and nothing in particular. His expression was blank and dead. The lovers looked at each other then with a frown, unsure on what to do with the heartbroken man…at least that what he looks like to them._

_“I….”_

_They looked at Tora again, waiting for what the eldest of the two was going to say._

_“He told me that he did have a private teacher because he was home-schooled. I never expected that it would turn out to be Kimisawa-sensei…”_

_Both Shou and Hiroto couldn’t exactly define Tora’s tone. It was between sad and flat at the same time. Emotionless, just like his expression right now. Shou knew better though that his best friend was hurting. Shou really understood how much Tora had fall for the pianist. Every action and words described it, especially during their summer together._

_Shou turned to his lover and saw the frown etched on the smaller man’s face. They were both feeling bad for Tora but they couldn’t do anything, right? Because even if he were to tell Tora to still have hope, he knew that it will still be useless, so he just kept quite._

_It was Hiroto though that broke the silence._

_“Tora, I’m so sorry…”_

_They were a bit surprised when they saw Tora smiling softly._

_“Hey, why are you apologizing?”_

_“But…” Hiroto started again._

_“Thank you, for telling me. At least now I know Saga is into guys as well.”_

Tora’s reverie broke when a knock came from his door. He didn’t bother to get up and open it though, still in the same position, Tora shouted who it was on the other side of the door. Yuu’s voice was heard then, voice a little louder and Tora can perfectly hear him.

“I made dinner, do you want some?”

Tora was going to reject the offer but his stomach wouldn’t have that. Just when he was about to speak, his stomach growled in protest and he just sighed.

“Yeah, I’m coming in a minute.”

He heard Yuu’s footsteps then, getting further and further apart from his door room. He sat up from the bed and felt his bed vibrate. He looked back and saw his screen phone flashing. He didn’t bother to take it though but looked at it. It was from Shou, cheering him up and telling him that everything will work out. The cinema student just smiled at his best friend’s antics.

Maybe everything will work out eventually, but Tora still didn’t know what to do. He was still in shock, as if he was given a very thick invisible wall and trying to get rid of it. Especially when this wall was none other than his own lecturer. The lecturer that he considered as a close one. His mind was curious then, about the history between them. He wanted to know how they met and how Kimisawa-sensei could capture Saga’s heart. Well… It’s not as though they’re dating yet but still, Tora was hurt. He really felt as though he really had lost hope and he now doesn’t know how to face Saga. He didn’t want Saga to know about this but avoiding him wasn’t an option.

Should he just tell Saga that he can’t meet him for a while because he wants to focus on his project? But what if Saga always saw him and Shou together and notice that he was avoiding the pianist? What if he hurt the beautiful man without him knowing? What if Saga thinks that he hates him? What if—

Stop.

Tora closed his eyes for a moment and waited for his mind to calm down, putting aside all the questions. He opened his eyes again and averted his eyes to the picture pinned to his study wall. It was a picture of the five of them during Saga’s birthday. Both he and Saga were beside each other with Saga’s arm around his shoulders, smiling so happily. He decided then, he needed time for himself and he was sure that Saga will understand. He has to.

\--

In the end, Tora did avoided Saga surprisingly well. The pianist didn’t ask him further question about suddenly wanting to focus on his project so he couldn’t help Saga with his composition for a while. And that while has already been 4 days. Three days to go before the finals’ week begins. Tora didn’t actually lie when he wanted to focus on his projects and finals, he actually did focus for a day or two, but the rest was him thinking, finding an answer of what he should do, even during at his part-time at a cinema theater. Sadly enough, he couldn’t think of anything except of confessing to Saga.

He thought that maybe confessing Saga would make his mind at ease. Knowing Saga’s true feelings: if he still has a crush on his favorite professor or not. But then again, just thinking of Saga rejecting him already put an uncomfortable feeling towards Tora’s being. He didn’t want to accept the painful truth yet. He needed time to prepare himself. But deep inside his heart knew that avoiding Saga wouldn’t get him anywhere except for uncertainty. Sure, they still talk on the phone and texting each other but Tora really couldn’t face Saga because he was afraid of bursting everything out. He realized though that 4 days was enough for moping. He had to see Saga again otherwise the pianist will definitely be suspicious of him and he didn’t want the younger man to ask him questions.

And so, he called Saga that night and it was an immediate answer. He could tell just from the greeting, Saga was happy.

“Hey, do you still need my help for your composition?” Tora asked.

“Oh… Honestly? I do. I need your help for the fourth composition.”

“Okay, you want to do it tomorrow?”

“Is it really okay? Am I not bothering you?”

Tora chuckled at the concern the other was giving. “Not at all. I’m almost finished with all my projects so it’s not a bother.”

“Oh good! _Otsukaresama_!” The pianist giggled. “Okay then, tomorrow after lunch in the music room?”

“Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah, can’t wait! I…. I miss you, anyway.”

Tora didn’t miss the slight longing visible in Saga’s voice and his heart skipped a beat at that. He was quiet for a while, too overwhelmed at hearing those words. He couldn’t deny it, he was genuinely happy that it made his lips turn into a smile.

“I miss you too, Sagacchi.”

The other line just chuckled and Tora chuckled along as well. After they bid their goodbyes, the cinema student just stood there for while, thinking whether he’ll be able to face Saga and act normal or not tomorrow.

\--

It turned out that Tora couldn’t act normal at all. The second when he saw the pianist already sitting on the piano seat, waiting for him, and then got up happily greeting him, Tora’s heartbeat lost its rhythm and began to pound erratically. He somehow felt different when they hugged, maybe it’s because he knew the reality; that this hug was purely just a friendly hug and not more. When Tora didn’t discover the truth, he could think in denial that it was a special hug. But now, his brain always flew away to the painful truth.

The session started then after catching up and this was the time when the cinema student realized that he was completely calm on helping his friend. It was okay then until he realized that the pianist always play the wrong key from what Tora suggested. He immediately knew then. It was not him who was not acting normal, it was Saga. It had been more than five times that Saga lost his focus. He knew that there was something bothering the teenager. He was more convinced then when Saga suddenly stopped for a brief moment, clearly trying to remember what Tora had told him. That was even the time when the youth decided to ask.

“Saga, are you okay?”

The honey browned-haired teen turned to the black-haired youth and was about to say something but stopped. Tora just watched as the pianist struggled with what to say until he finally heard a long sigh.

“No… I’m actually not okay…”

“What’s wrong?”

The teenager kept quiet so Tora spoke again.

“You know you can tell me anything, right? I’m always here for you.”

Saga shook his head. “Sorry, Tora… This is something that I don’t really want to tell to anyone…”

“Oh… Family problems..?”

“Not really…”

“Love problems, then…?”

The pianist chuckled. “Is it? I don’t really know… All I know is I’m just dealing with feelings…for someone who I’ve known for a long time.”

The last sentence was enough of a key point for Tora to figure out on what his friend was dealing with. His thoughts immediately flew back to that one professor. Who else was the pianist referring to other than his crush? Certainly it can’t be Nao because they are old friends. And as far as Tora remembered, Nao has a girlfriend although far from the city so he was certain that Saga was thinking about a certain professor.

And no.

Tora’s emotions are once again shattered. He had tried so hard to not show it on his face. Tried so hard to not bring up the issue but it seems that his organs were not cooperating with him. He knew that his expression has changed the instant he spat his next words like venom.

“Is it Kimisawa-sensei?”

Surprisingly enough, his tone was calm but there was definitely anger in there.

The honey brown-haired man looked up and turned to the cinema student with pure surprise etched on his face; eyes wide in disbelief.

“What are you talking about?”

Tora knew there was no going back to this. It’s out already and he might as well just settle this once and for all.

“I know your real reason as to why you became Kimisawa’s assistant, Sakamoto.”

The mention of Saga’s real name, above all, last name immediately sent Saga’s brain a hint that Tora was serious, and this made the pianist’s head filled with questions.

“What…?”

The black-haired youth, who was staring at the piano keyboards all these times finally looked up also and turned to his friend with a serious expression.

“I know that you became his assistant just so you can be close to him. Is it true? That you became his assistant because you hold feelings for him and so that you can be closer to him?”

“How did you know? Who told you?”

“Please, answer my question. It’s a simple yes or—”

“Did Nao tell you about this? Because if he did, I swear I’m gonna—”

The honey brown-haired teenager tried to get off from his seat but Tora had prevented it by catching his wrist and interjecting him.

“It’s not him. And it’s not important of how I found out about it.”

The two looked at each other for a brief moment before Tora gently pulled Saga down again.

“Please, sit down…” He said and the pianist complied.

“Why are you so angry?” Tora asked again, voice turning normal now.

“I just don’t like people who spill out secrets. And… This is my deepest secret, and it’s also an old secret that has been kept for so long and Nao is the only who knows it. I’m literally fucking surprised that you know it.”

“Look, I’m sorry okay? I’m just curious as to why you never told me the real reason even though we’ve been friends for a very long while now.”

“I’ve been friends with Hiroto far longer than you and I never told him either.”

_But he knows… If only you knew…_ Tora thought dreadfully.

“But…” Tora couldn’t continue his words because his friend got a point there. He really couldn’t argue back without confessing. But then he knew where this conversation was going. It’s going to end up him confessing and like he intended in the first place. He wanted to settle this once and for all.

“But why are you so afraid of me finding it out, or per se, us; Hiroto and Shou?”

Saga sighed in exasperation. “Like I told you, Tora. This is an old secret of mine and I don’t have the reason to tell them that. Besides, they never ask and I really don’t want to tell anyone about this. Nao knew this because he was the only one I had when I discovered these feelings of mine towards a guy who was ten years older than me.”

“So it really is true that you like Kimisawa-sensei and that’s why you became his assistant so you can be closer to him?”

Saga noticed the change in Tora’s tone. It was between annoyed and pissed, very close to anger. And Saga couldn’t figure out why. Why was it so important for Tora and why is he so angry? And he did just that.

“Yes! Why do you want to know anyway? And why are you so worked up about it?!”

“Because, Saga… I…!”

Tora stopped mid-sentence. His chest heaving as he was breathing hard from the anger. He looked down then, trying to calm himself so he can say the words he wanted to tell properly. Meanwhile, Saga just sat there, staring, and waiting for the other man to finish. Once Tora was calm, the cinema student once again looked up to the younger man, eyes looking straight at the pianist’s brown orbs seriously.

“I like you, Takashi, a lot.” He finally uttered the words he had been keeping in since the first time he saw the pianist.

Saga just stared at the elder man, eyes wide in surprise and stayed that way for a while until Tora spoke again.

“I really like you…more than friends.”

Saga’s expression changed into a frown then, eyes averting from the other man.

“So it’s true then…”

Tora smiled bitterly. “True? The guys told you about it?”

Saga shook his head. “No… I felt it.” He said and looked up at dark-haired man again. “I had a feeling that you liked me but I didn’t want to get ahead of myself so much. You were…so nice to me, Tora. Very caring like I’m the most important person for you. You even gave me the sweetest gift I have ever received in my life on my birthday…”

“The worst pizza you ever tasted.” Tora chuckled at the memory.

“No, it’s not.” Saga couldn’t help but smile as he said that. “The point is I felt your affection and that’s why I had a feeling that you like me.”

They were silent for few moments before Saga spoke again.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? You had… so many chances.”

“I wasn’t sure if you were into guys. I was also afraid that it would ruin our friendship.”

“….Right…”

Another silence passed by until Tora slowly, but surely, took Saga’s hand in his, rubbing the back of his hand and looking down on it.

“Well… I guess what you’re feeling is true alright. I’ve been keeping it ever since I saw you. I told my uncle though and both Shou and Hiroto also presumed it because I was so obvious.” He laughed at his last sentence and shifted closer to the younger man. “I guess Nao is the only one who doesn’t know. Uncle Yuu probably knows from my uncle though.” He looked back up again and saw Saga still with the same expression.

With no words coming out of Saga, Tora decided to do a bold action. He really was never good with words so he might as well just express it through actions on how much he really does like Saga. He leaned in his face closer and closer, watching every expression the pianist held. The frown was replaced with pure confusion and he couldn’t help feeling happy when he saw the realization hit Saga. He stopped and stared at the beautiful brown orbs, asking silently. He immediately got his answer when Saga closed his eyes and captured those plump lips that he had been dying to taste in a kiss. It was hesitant at first, and then confidence took over the elder man when the other didn’t back away. He fully kissed the pianist without heat, just simply enjoying the feeling of each other’s lips. He pulled back slowly then, leaning his forehead against the younger one as he closed his eyes, taking in the closeness between them.

“Please, be with me, Sagacchi.”

He pleaded in a whisper with his heart holding on to the hope he had been keeping all this time.


	7. “I could not face anything without you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm so sorry! It's been two months since I updated! Life got in the way but finally I'm able to post a new chapter! I'm honestly kinda nervous with this one cause it's really an unusual situation for reality, and it's a long chapter too so I hope you enjoy!  
> I also have a sad announcement; this story is going to be my last for a while. I got a big project coming up and I don't think I can write as often ;__; I will still continue to write bits and bits though! So please do enjoy this last one and I hope it will a great closing of mine for you lovely readers xoxo

“Yo, Saga, are you listening?”

Saga snapped back to reality when he heard Hiroto’s snapping finger right in front of his eyes. He turned his head and saw his roommate staring at him with confusion painted all over his eyes. A frown was also plastered on photographer’s lips.

“What…?” Saga slowly uttered.

Hiroto just sighed and took back the photographs that the pianist was holding. Saga just stared at his roommate as the other rearranged the photographs he took into the correct order again. The pianist didn’t know whether the photography student was mad or not so he decided to apologize.

“I’m sorry, Hiroto…” He said as he put his hand on the other’s shoulder.

Hiroto turned and smiled at the brown-haired man. “It’s okay… I just… really wanted your opinion about these.” He said as he waved the photographs in his hands.

“I think those are all really amazing so I can’t also tell you which it’s best to be exhibited.” Saga said as he let go of Hiroto’s shoulder in order to take the photographs again from the younger man’s hands.

“Liar. You weren’t even looking at them thoroughly.” The photographer said jokingly and took back the photographs again.

Saga let the other man take it, a pout adorning his lips and made his roommate laugh. The photographer got up from Saga’s bed and moved to sit on his desk instead, putting away the photograph in a folder.

“What’s up with you, though? I get the feeling that something is bothering you lately.” Asked Hiroto as he put away his folder into the mini desk bookshelf.

Saga was quiet for a while before sighing heavily. His roommate looked back at him and smiled in sympathy.

“You wanna tell me about it?” Offered Hiroto.

Saga shook his head though. “I don’t wanna bother you with my problems.”

Hiroto just shrugged. “I don’t mind and you know that.” He said with a smile.

Saga returned back the smile. “Thanks. But really, it’s just love problems. I think you shouldn’t worry too much.”

The photographer frowned then, biting his lips nervously as he asked his next question. “Is it…about Tora?”

The pianist didn’t know whether to be surprised or not. Maybe he knew it was coming, or maybe he just remembered the fact that Tora told him about Shou and Hiroto assuming Tora liked him. Yes, maybe it was the latter so he wasn’t surprised also when he timidly nodded his head at Hiroto’s question.

“Oh… I guess he finally had the guts to tell you, huh?” The photographer chuckled. “Did it…turned out—”

“I haven’t answered him.” Saga interjected in a low voice.

Hiroto stopped then, presuming that as a sign to stop asking.

“There were…” Saga continued. “…things I was dealing before he confessed and I just can’t decide right now. I’m muddled with these feelings and I don’t know what to do.”

Hiroto knew that he shouldn’t ask again but he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to help his roommate.

“Do you…want to share it with me? Maybe I can help you.”

Saga was silent for a moment before hesitating. “Can you…do something for me instead…?”

Hiroto was confused at first, but then smiled when he saw the meaning behind Saga’s pleading eyes. Even though they’ve only been roommates less than a year, the photographer was already used with that favor. He got up and took his project folder from the desk before proceeding to the door.

“I’m sorry Hiroto, it’s not that I don’t wanna confide in you or uncomfortable with you—”

“I understand.” Hiroto interjected as he looked back at Saga and opened the door. “There are things that you just can’t really tell people so I understand. I can find out through Shou anyway cause I’m sure that poor tiger will definitely confide in him.” He said with a laugh before exiting the room.

Saga just huffed and crossed him arms. “Damn. I almost forgot that his lover is Tora’s best friend.” He mumbled and chuckled after that. 

His eyes then suddenly caught a framed picture that was standing on his study desk. It was a picture of the five of them during his birthday. He was standing between Tora and Nao, with Shou in the middle and Hiroto beside Shou. They celebrated in a local park in Ariake Nishi Futou Park because even on a rainy June, the weather forecast predicted that it was sunny and it was, until late evening. He remembered that he was so happy during his birthday because it was the time when he felt happy being with Tora.

Ever since that day, the day when Tora did the sweetest thing he had ever received, his feelings towards the other man began to change and had the slightest hope that Tora perhaps liked him, even though he didn’t know if he, himself, likes the cinema student. His mind then began to remember yesterday’s incident.

_“Please, be with me, Sagacchi.”_

_Saga kept silent as he still felt the hot breath against his lips. He could perfectly hear the soft, pleading whisper in Tora’s voice when the elder man said that. He didn’t know what to do—didn’t know how to feel. He was also afraid to open his eyes because he knew that if he did, he will be forced to look at those eyes—the eyes that were full of hope and he just couldn’t face it, so he just lowered his head._

_He still feels Tora’s forehead against his head. He had to admit that he feels safe like this, being so close to Tora, yet his mind was racing with thoughts. He couldn’t decide anything, especially when there were things still going on in his mind. So he only did what he should do right now._

_“I can’t…” He uttered._

_He then felt Tora move, the weight on his head no longer there and he felt cold. He finally opened his eyes but still refused to look up at his friend. He could already imagine the hurt within those eyes and he didn’t want to look at it, too afraid._

_It was after a long agonizing silence that he finally felt Tora move, feeling his warm palm against his hair and stroking him so gently. Feeling curious, he finally looked up and was greeted by Tora’s smile. It was a smile that breaks Saga’s heart, and so heartbreaking it forced Saga to explain further about his reason._

_“I can’t because I’m so confused about my own feelings right now. I don’t wanna be with you when I’m still not certain about my own feelings towards you. I’m so sorry, Tora…” He explained as he cupped Tora’s jaw in one hand._

_Tora just nodded and leaned into the touch before finally releasing his hand from Saga’s head and released Saga’s hand from his face._

_“I understand.” He said and kissed Saga’s nose before getting up from the bench._

_“Wait… Where are you going?” Saga asked, slight panic was thick in his voice as he watched Tora taking his things._

_Tora answered when he was finally ready to leave. “Somewhere. I need to be alone and clear my mind. Otherwise, who knows what might happen.”_

_“Torashi…”_

_Tora smiled softly again. “I’m sorry, Saga. I really have to leave. I’ll see you around.” He said before finally turning to leave._

_Saga just watched as Tora left, leaving him alone with his thoughts in the music room._

And ever since then, he didn’t have the courage to meet Tora because he didn’t know what to do. He was still confused about his own feelings both towards Tora and his longtime crush, Yuuki. He just hoped that he will be able to decide soon after talking with the person he knows who he can rely most.

\--

“Nao ~~~~”

Hiroto opened the door of Nao and Shou’s room and called in a sing-song after gotten the permission. He looked inside and turned to the empty bed across Nao’s.

“Huh? Where did my man go?” He asked confusedly as he walked further into the room.

Nao looked up from the book he was currently reading and sat up from the bed. “He left a few minutes ago. Said that he’s meeting up with Tora.” He answered and marked the book.

“Huh… I guess that tiger is going to confide also.”

“also?”

Nao fully sat up now and placed his book on his study table before looking back at Hiroto.

“Yeah. Saga wants to confide in you too.”

“Did something happen to them?”

“Seems that Tora finally confessed to Saga.”

Nao immediately groaned as soon as he heard Hiroto’s answer. “Great.” He responded as he face-palmed.

“What? Nao, what’s wrong?” Hiroto asked confusedly as he watched Nao getting up from the bed.

Nao ignored Hiroto’s question and continued to take his jacket out of its hanger then took his iPhone from his study desk.

“Nao!” Hiroto tried again.

Nao proceeded to go to the door and opened it, turning back again to Hiroto before leaving.

“I’m sorry, Hiroto, but I can’t tell you. My key is on the table, lock it when you leave.” He said before exiting the room.

\--

Nao opened the door when he got the permission from the person at the other side of the door. He was greeted by Saga sitting on his bed, legs bent and head leaning against the wall. The pianists’ eyes were closed and Nao felt that his best friend was indeed looking tired emotionally so he quietly closed the door. He proceeded to walk further into the room and sat down on Hiroto’s bed instead.

“Talk to me whenever you’re ready.” Nao said after a long silence.

It took a few good minutes before Saga opened his eyes again as he sighed, head facing towards Nao and Nao could tell that Saga wanted him to go first.

“So it’s true what Hiroto said?” He asked.

Saga just nodded without so much expression.

“When did it happen? And how?”

“Yesterday afternoon. He found out about me and Yuuki. Got angry and confessed.”

Nao was surprised hearing the second sentence. “Wait? What? He knows about you and Yuuki?”

Saga nodded. “I thought he found out from you but no and he didn’t tell me the source.”

“I never told him anything. I never even mentioned about Yuuki to him. Or Kimisawa-sensei for his case.”

Saga sighed and changed his position, sitting crossed-legged. “I know. I was just surprised cause you’re the only one that knows. Anyways, he begged me, to be with him and it hurts, Nao. It hurts because his voice was so thick with hopefulness and I crushed that hope because I didn’t wanna be with him while carrying these unsure feelings. Sure, I’m starting to think about him ever since my birthday but I don’t wanna lie either by being together with him. He’s one of the important people in my life too so I don’t wanna deceive him.”

Nao just kept quiet, listening intently and watched every expression the pianist held, which was now looking very lugubrious. He knew that the pianist had more to tell.

“But I don’t want to lose him either. I feel…safe by his side. He makes me really happy and I always cherish my time with him. I just kind of wish that he loves me just as a friend, or best friend whatsoever.”

“Well… you can’t really control someone’s feelings.”

“Yeah, I know that too. That’s why it all depends on me now. Controlling my own feelings; figuring it out. Make things clear so I can be at rest and go back to the way things are. But I really don’t know what to do, Nao. I care for the both of them, I want them in my life and I don’t want to hurt them. It’s selfish, I know.”

Nao’s ears perked up again at the last sentence. “Wait? Them? Not just him?”

“Yeah… them; Tora and Yuuki.”

Nao’s eyes went wide in surprise, mouth gaping open. “Saga…don’t tell me…you haven’t answered Yuuki until now?”

Saga bit his lip and looked down, shaking his head timidly.

“It’s been 5 days, Saga! I’m surprised it took you this long to answer him. You’ve liked him for a very long time now!” Nao said, still consternated by the fact that he had just discovered.

“But Tora—”

“Are you still wavering?”

Saga stopped speaking by the look his childhood friend was giving, incredulously bewildered. Nao remembered how Saga didn’t look so happy when he told him that his professor confessed to him that night after it happened. Saga had started to develop feelings for their friend and he was surprised when Yuuki confessed to him because the pianist never expected that his unrequited feelings could have been returned all these years. It wasn’t that Saga was not happy, but it was more to consternate. Nao could only help him by telling him that he could still think about it. What the Business major student didn’t expect was that it took this long for the pianist to consider. 

After a long while of silence, Nao finally sighed, dropping his shoulders.

“Honestly, I thought you’re telling me about Tora because you’re already with Yuuki.”

“I’m sorry…” Saga uttered quietly.

Nao just chuckled. “Why are you apologizing? I’m the one who got it wrong here.”

Saga just smiled shakily and frowned again, looking down at his hands.

“I really don’t know what to do, Nao.”

“I really can’t advice you on what you should do because this is about your feelings. What I can do is ask you how you actually feel towards them. Who makes you the happiest?”

Saga was silent for a while, mind reeling to reminiscence about the times he spent with either of them, unconsciously smiling at the memories.

“They both do. Yuuki was the one who taught me about the world, accompanying me always when I felt lonely and cared so much even after he became so busy with school and work. That made me happy. For Tora… he was really a fun person from the day I met him, I can never be in a bad mood whenever I’m with him because his energy influences me so much and I’m so happy of that. They both gave me happiness in different ways.”

Nao nodded and asked the next question. “Okay… Who are you attracted to romantically? Like, you know… you want to kiss them, hold their hands etc.”

Saga needed to think hard at this. He remembered back when Yuuki had a girlfriend after college graduation and he was so utterly broken-hearted. Then he was happy again when they separated after Yuuki entered master university. He didn’t know by then if this was just like or it was actually love. He couldn’t figure it out even until now. He never thought of dating Yuuki until recently when he entered college. But then again, did he want to go that far?

Tora on the other hand though, did make him think that he wanted to be the reason Tora smiles because he loves the other’s influencing smile. It makes him want to smile too, so contagious for him. But he never thought of being with Tora romantically, though, he did enjoy it when Tora kissed him didn’t he? Will he enjoy it if Yuuki was the one kissing him?

All these thoughts confused Saga even more and it made him frustrated. Why can’t he just be friends with the both of them? Oh right, he can’t because the both of them liked him way more than a friend. It was all now up to him, wasn’t it? 

Saga finally looked up at Nao morosely. “Can’t I just have them both? Can’t I just stop feeling so confused like this?”

Nao frowned. “I’m afraid you can’t. You have to either reject both of them or choose one. I don’t think they want to share you.”

Saga pouted. “You make it sound like I’m an object or something.”

Nao chuckled. “But it’s true. Either way, you have to answer Yuuki. I think he deserves it because he has waited too long and as for Tora… I think he already considered your response as a rejection.” He gave Saga a sympathetic look at the last sentence.

Saga wanted to tell Nao that he and Tora kissed but changed his mind immediately because he thought that it wasn’t necessary so he just collapsed to the mattress and stared at the ceiling, sighing in exhaustion. His vision was blocked by Nao’s face then.

“Think it through again, Saga. I’m sure you’ll figure it out somehow. Just think about which one you think you want to have a further relationship with, or if you really are ready to have a relationship. Maybe that will figure out your real feelings.” Nao said with a smile and patted the other’s shoulder.

“… I guess I will. Thanks for listening, Nao. You really are the best.” Saga said with a smile.

Nao just shook his head and took out his iPhone, showing the number on the screen. Saga just nodded vigorously as he sat up like a child who was going to receive a gift he had wanted so bad.

Maybe he could think better after some slices of pizza.

\--

The first day of Finals week finally came and Saga was still lost on coming up a good closing for his composition. Again, he was frustrated and even more stressed because the composition he was working on was due tomorrow and he still couldn’t think up of a good closing melody. He tried to start playing all over again and listen to it intently as he thinks up what the end would be like. He had tried a few but none of them synchronizes the ending. He banged the piano keys again and shouted, leaning his forehead against his palms then sighing out of frustration.

He closed the lid and propped his elbows against it while leaning his forehead against his palms. He closed his eyes then as his mind starts wondering again. Again, he had been here for an hour and he still couldn’t come up a good closing. He knew that he had been thinking a lot lately and was actually not very surprised that nothing came up but he was desperate to finish this last piece today. He thought about the progress again and realized that this was the piece that Tora helped a lot. It went easily well because Tora was there, giving him ideas and helped him calm down whenever he gets frustrated because it wasn’t right. This piece wouldn’t progress well without the cinema student’s help and Saga’s heart suddenly ached at that.

The pianist missed him, so much, even though it has been only two days since he last saw him. Yes, Saga had spent thinking and thinking for a whole day yesterday. He had figured out a little but still wasn’t sure if that was what he really wanted. He didn’t want to make any regrets because this could be a lifetime choice for him even though he knew that he was still very young. He wants to be in a serious relationship because he was done playing around. He had experience those in his teenage days. He was an adult now, 20 fucking years old and he thinks that it was time to be really serious in everything, whether in love or life so he wants to choose someone who will be with him for a long time and he hasn’t figure out which one that will give him that.

Should it be Yuuki, who he had known for a long time or Tora, who he only knew for a few months? But then again, Nao was right. Who is the one that he really wants to have a further relationship with? At least, he enjoyed kissing with Tora, so does that means that he wants to have a further relationship with him? But what about Yuuki? Will he enjoy it too if he were to kiss Yuuki? Saga had thought about this and his only solution was maybe he would find his answers after he kisses Yuuki. He knew it will seem wrong but this was the only way he could figure it out but he doesn’t have the courage to do it. He really needed someone to encourage him and it was weird that not even Nao or Uncle Yuu could encourage him.

His mind yet again drifted to Tora, suddenly remembering Tora’s encouraging words in everything and it always helped him. So does this mean that he likes Tora? More than a friend? He wasn’t sure. What he was sure of that Tora was really a very precious friend for him, just like Nao is to him, yet his heart always ached whenever he thinks of Tora. He really had to figure this out soon because he didn’t want to avoid Tora or Yuuki far longer now.

“I’m really gonna settle this once and for all today…” He mumbled as he opened his eyes.

The pianist sat up straight again and got off the bench. He figured that he can finish this piece in the morning since the due time was until afternoon so he can just be done for today and go to Yuuki today to clear everything. He took his glasses from the case and put it on before taking his bag, striding towards the door and exited the music room.

\--

Saga just got inside the station when he heard his name being called from behind. And it was a very familiar voice, the voice he longed so much. He slowly turned around and found the cinema student walking towards him looking as handsome as always and Saga didn’t know why his heart skipped a beat at that.

“It’s been a while. How are you?” Tora asked with a smile.

Saga smiled back. “I’m okay. Just working on the last piece for finals. Are you here to pass your paper?”

“Yeah. Gonna go meet up with Shou and my high school friends who are visiting Tokyo after this.”  
“That sounds fun.”

The atmosphere went silent for a moment and Saga could feel that they were getting awkward with each other. He was going to say something when suddenly, Tora spoke first.

“So, where are you going?”

Saga had to think before answering. He didn’t know if he should tell Tora that he was going to Yuuki’s place because he didn’t want to get more awkward with Tora. But then again, Saga was never good at lying so he just answered it, not without hesitancy.

“I’m…going to Kimisawa-sensei’s place…”

Saga had expected the surprise in Tora’s eyes. He had expected the man to be quiet and the awkwardness came. What he hadn’t expected though was Tora suddenly smiling softly at him and nodded.

“I see. Well, I’ll see you around. It was really nice to see you again, Saga.” The elder man said before starting to walk away.

Saga quickly turned and called the cinema student again, grasping his wrist. Tora stopped and turned to the pianist again. Puzzling eyes looking straight at Saga’s worried ones.

Saga wanted to tell ask him that he misses him and wonder if he can hangout with him again but why wouldn’t the words come out? Why was he so nervous all of a sudden? This was Tora, his friend, not his ex-boyfriend so it’s not wrong to say that was it?

“Saga…?” Tora called again, moving a step closer.

Saga just lowered his head and let go of Tora’s wrist, only to hold Tora’s hand again. Again, Tora did something Saga didn’t expect again. The elder man moved even closer and lifted Saga’s chin slowly so he can face the other man. He was greeted by the same soft smile that Saga was so fond of.

“It’s okay.” Tora whispered.

Saga wanted to say something again if only it wasn’t interrupted by Tora’s phone, ringing loudly and he could hear the other man curse. Tora sighed and let go of Saga’s hand before taking his iPhone from his pocket.

“I thought I turned it into silent mode…” Tora mumbled before finally answering the phone.

Saga stayed quiet as he listened to Tora speaking on the phone. It seemed that it was Shou because from the way the cinema student spoke, it was definitely his characteristic when talking to Shou. He listened as the other apologized and will be there in half an hour. After Tora finally hung up, Saga watched as the elder man sighed.

“Sorry, Saga. I really gotta get going. Everyone is already there and I still have to pass my papers.” Tora apologized.

Saga just shook his head and smiled. “It’s okay. Go get going then.”

Tora grinned. “I’ll see you around again. Good luck to the two of you.” He said before finally tapping at the gate machine and exited the station.

Saga just stood there for a good few minutes before realizing that Tora must’ve think that he’s together with Yuuki now. He turned around and head towards the escalator that led to the platform with a frown on his face.

\--

Saga finally pressed the doorbell after standing still for a few good minutes. He had stepped in front of Yuuki’s flat a while ago but didn’t have the guts to press the doorbell. He was still nervous and didn’t exactly know what he wanted to say except that he wanted to try and kiss Yuuki. It had been almost a week since he last saw the professor and the last time they met, it wasn’t in a good circumstance. Sure, Yuuki looked fine but Saga knew better that his mentor was hurting and he was sure things would be awkward now. But he had made up his mind that he was going to settle this today so he can go back being normal.

Yuuki’s voice was suddenly heard from the intercom.

“Yes, who is it?”

Saga was glad that the man was home because he knew how busy the professor was.

“It’s Takashi…”

There was a pause before he heard doors unlocking from behind and not long after that, Yuuki appeared, wearing surprisingly normal clothes. It’s been a while, Saga thought because he usually sees his long time crush in formal wear.

“Hey, Takashi… I didn’t expect you to visit…” Yuuki greeted, his voice heavy with surprise.

“Sorry… Is it a bad time…?” Saga asked hesitantly.

Yuuki shook his head. “No, no! Please, come in!”

Yuuki stepped aside and let the younger man in. Saga bowed slightly and muttered ‘Ojyamashimasu’ before taking off his shoes and entered further inside. He waited for Yuuki to close the door before leading him into the living room. Saga took a seat at the sofa and put down his bag.

“Do you want some drinks?” Yuuki asked again, standing not far from him.

“Ah, just water is fine, thank you.” Saga replied with a smile.

Yuuki nodded and went to the kitchen. Saga roamed his eyes around the living room as he waited. It really has been a while since he came here and it hasn’t change at all. His eyes landed on the pictures hanging on the wall and saw that there was still a picture of him and Yuuki a few years back when he was still 13. The age where he realized that he has a crush on the man who was getting a drink for him.

Not long after, Yuuki returned and settled the glass on the low coffee table before sitting on the small couch across Saga. Saga thanked him and began to drink the water.

“So what brings you here? You’re lucky that I’m on my day off.” Yuuki chuckled at the last sentence.

Saga gave a small laugh. “I was also afraid that you wouldn’t be home, but I guess I was lucky.”

“Yeah… it’s been a while since we talk this casually, right? How is life treating you so far?”

Saga kept on smiling as he answered his mentor’s question. Soon, they engaged into a conversation; talking about old times and about each other’s lives. Saga almost forgot that he was here to settle their problem once and for all but with the way the professor was chatting so lively, he didn’t have the heart to interrupt that. Eventually, their conversation died down and turned into an awkward silence. Suddenly, Saga could feel that the atmosphere became heavy when he was asked the next question.

“So…why are you exactly here?”

Saga noticed that Yuuki’s voice was serious and the way his eyes pierced at him was somewhat intimidating. It made Saga nervous and so he could only lowered his head and took a deep breath. He could do this. He needed to do this otherwise he won’t be at peace.

He looked up again, eyes looking back at Yuuki’s.

“I came here to talk about the other day. I didn’t…give you a clear answer that time because I was still disconcerted, so I just told you to give me some time to think.” Saga replied surprisingly with a steady voice.

Yuuki nodded slowly. “Okay… So you finally have an answer for me?”

“Yes… but first, I wanted to tell you something.”  
“Go ahead. I’m listening…”

Saga took a deep breath before finally starting. “Yuuki, you have to know that I have held a crush on you since I was thirteen. The real reason I became your assistant is because I wanted to be closer to you. You were the first person who was there for me and I admired you for that. Every day I felt so grateful that I had someone like you and along the way, I began to develop feelings. I was always so happy whenever I was with you. I was a child who was home-schooled and didn’t get out much because my parents were always busy and there you were, teaching me about the world, that it was okay to rely on others and about…love. I wanted to know more about you then by being with you always. I even entered the same university where you’re teaching and that’s when I realized that I liked you a lot but I didn’t have the courage to tell you because you were so lively and here I am, just an awkward music student.” 

Saga chuckled at the last sentence.

“Then I started to let go a little, thinking that maybe you will never like me because I was way younger than you and a man for that matter so I was disconcerted when you confessed to me, thinking that I could’ve been with you all these years. I…would’ve answered you that time if only my mind wasn’t thinking about another guy…that I’ve grown so close lately.”

Saga didn’t know that he had been looking down during half of his story so he looked up again and Yuuki was still looking at him quietly. He didn’t see any sign that the other man was going speak anytime soon so he continued.

“I’m confused. That guy confessed to me also, four days after you and my mind just went crazy. I was really thinking and thinking, but in the end, I couldn’t figure it out. I couldn’t decide with whom I want to have a further relationship with so the only option I could think of to figure out is to…kiss you…and see if I’m really attracted to you that way.”

Saga was reluctant in the end because he knew how selfish this request was but he really needed to find out. It was the only thing he could do to finally decide. He watched as the man across him pondered. His face was serious and ruminating, making Saga even more nervous. He was slightly taken aback when Yuuki just chuckled.

“So you want me to be your experiment for your own benefit?” He asked sarcastically.

Saga felt bad then and lowered his head again. “I’m sorry… I know it’s not right but…” He couldn’t finish his last sentence.

The pianist heard his professor sighed and soon footsteps, thinking that maybe he went somewhere but was surprised when the other man was sitting beside him.

“You’re lucky because I really want to kiss you too. Otherwise I’ll be offended.” The elder man said in amusement.

Saga just stared because he couldn’t believe that Yuuki was actually accepting his selfish request. But then again, he thought, that this was Yuuki, the man who cared for him so much…just like Tora. He could finally have his own answer and he couldn’t wait to get this over with. He watched as Yuuki shifted closer to him and cupped his jaw in one hand. They stared at each other for a while before Saga finally closed his eyes and felt a pair of lips plastering to his. Then the pair of lips moved slowly against his lips and Saga kissed back as slow, savoring the sensation. He tried to feel that spark, that excitement which will make him dizzy but wait…

This was…

Saga pulled back slowly when he felt that Yuuki was breaking the kiss too. They breathed heavily, trying to grasp the air that they lost as they stared at each other once again.

“…Well?” Yuuki asked after gaining his breathing back.

A smile slowly crept up at Saga’s face.

He’d definitely figured out his true feelings.


	8. “I cannot imagine my life without you in it.”

“Okay, it’s time for me to leave. Otherwise, my boss is gonna kill me.”

Tora watched as his best friend got up from the couch and gathered his things. He took the remote beside him and changed the channel, looking bored and gloomy. Shou sighed at that look and punched the cinema student’s shoulder lightly.

“C’mon, stop being so down. Who knows Saga went there only to refuse him.” Shou said, trying to cheer his best friend up.

Tora just shrugged. “I wouldn’t be that lucky. I always have the worst luck when it comes to love, remember?”

“Maybe it’s time now, you never know. Besides, that’s what surprises are for right? To add the sugar in life. Even if you’re not meant to be now, you might end up with him in the end. Just be positive, Tiger!” 

Shou pounced his gloomy friend, earning a miffed groan but he just laughed it off, knowing that Tora was feeling better. He finally got off and finally saw a small smile on the others lips.

“Thanks, Shou. Now go, you’ll be late for your part-time.” The cinema student said as he shrugged him by kicking the designer’s calf humorously.

“Ow!” Shou winced, feigning hurt.

Tora just laughed and Shou finally took a step back, preparing to exit the living room.

“Go calm yourself down with your oolong tea!”

Tora could hear Shou shouting before the closing sound of the front door rung. The dark-haired man just shook his head in amusement. People always thought that his best friend was calm and reserved but for him, Shou was the most energetic and humorous person he ever met, always knows how to make things better. It was no surprise that Hiroto had stayed with him even until now. They were a perfect couple, Tora thought, because they both suited for each other.

….Which made him wish that he was like that too with Saga.

Tora sighed and collapsed into the sofa, shifting until his head was resting on the arm rest and stretching his legs. His mind began to wander about his meeting with Saga. He really didn’t expect to see the amber-haired man. Ever since his confession, Tora never hoped that he would be able to see the pianist anytime soon because other than that he needs to have time for himself, he thought that Saga needed his time as well. He was actually happy meeting Saga again because God only knows how much he had missed the pianist. But after knowing that Saga was going to his professor’s home, his heart ached and thoughts began to run wild inside his brain.

He kept on thinking the negative; like Saga was finally going out with the man he had a crush on for a long time. And Tora didn’t know if he could handle it. He almost couldn’t get through to today’s reunion with some of his high school friends. He was glad that it didn’t last long because Shou reasoned that he has his part-time soon (which was actually true) and Tora just gave the excuse that he needed to get some things done which was also partly true, that he needed to get his mind off the negative thoughts about Saga. He was glad when Shou agreed to accompany him for a while at home before his part-time, just to be there for him and letting him confide.

He had always thought that he always have the worst luck when it comes to love that was why he kept being single ever since his last break-up or just fooling around, he never put his feelings into it. But when it came to Saga, he didn’t know why he was so attracted to the pianist. His whole being was just… impeccable to say the least. Saga’s beauty captured him so much that he just wanted to be with the man and treasure him. Was it wrong for him to believe that maybe he can actually work out a relationship with Saga? But truth to be told, the universe wasn’t on his side. Saga was already someone else’s and it was with his favorite professor for that matter. He possibly doesn’t have the heart to steal Saga away from the older man’s grasp.

God, these thoughts just broke Tora’s heart even more. He could feel that his tears were close to spill out of eyes but he held it back, taking a deep breath. He turned to his side and took his Oolong tea from the coffee table. He jumped at the sudden ring from the doorbell, successfully spilling some of the tea into the carpeted floor. He cursed and quickly got up, walking in annoyance to the foyer. He then heard Shou’s voice from the intercom.

“Tiger! I forgot my mp3 player!”

The cinema student huffed and went back to the living room, spotting the squared light-blue mp3 player on the small couch. He took it and put down his tea before going back to the entrance. He opened the door while saying,

“Baka! Next time don’t—” He stopped midway and froze when he saw the person standing in front of him. His eyes were wide in surprise, mouth gapping.

It was none other than the person that Tora thinks every single day, grinning nervously at him as he waved. Tora could only stare, still trying to grasp that Sakamoto Takashi was actually there right in front of his eyes, looking beautiful as always wearing a light-blue denim shirt with a navy-blue tee underneath, paired with black jeans. The sleeves were rolled until his forearms, showing some milky skin. Tora had to release the deep breath he didn’t know he had been taking. Saga was just simply stunning even in casual clothes.

“Saga…?” He whispered breathily.

Shou appeared from behind Saga then; he was hiding behind the wall all along and grinned as well.

“Poor guy was standing in the lobby looking like a lost puppy so I dragged him along with me. Figured that he might want to see you but probably too afraid to face you.” He explained as he put his arms on Saga’s shoulder.

Tora’s gaze on Saga was between surprised and perplexed.

“You…wanted to see me?” He asked confusedly.

Saga just nodded timidly. “Yes… But I was kind of afraid that you wouldn’t want to see me.”

“Nonsense!” Shou blurted in. “Tiger here was wishing to see you!”

Saga was practically surprised hearing that. “O-Oh?”

Tora just scoffed. “Shou, shut up!”

The caramel-haired man just laughed and started to back away, releasing his hands from Saga’s shoulder. “Well, I must be going now!” He said and snatched his mp3 player from Tora’s grasp. “Good luck to you two!” He shouted before dashing to the elevator.

The two men just watched as their friend gave them a peace sign before entering the elevator. Once he was out of sighed, Tora turned his attention back to Saga as was greeted by a silly grin.

“What…?” He asked yet again confused.

“Well… Aren’t you gonna let me in?” 

Tora inwardly face-palmed. “Yeah, sorry, my bad. Please, come in.” He replied as he stepped away from the door.

Saga nodded at the taller man as he entered the condo. He took off his shoes and went further inside, already knowing where the living room was and Tora followed after closing the door. He waited then until Saga sat on the black sofa.

“Want any drinks?” He offered.

“Yes, please. Just—”

“I know. Hold on for a minute.”

Tora interrupted and went to the kitchen. He knew what Saga wanted, it was always the same, except when it comes to eating, he would want a different drink. Tora moved around the kitchen, making Saga’s drink. His mind was multitasking between making the drink ad trying to grasp that Saga was actually here inside his condo (well, Gackt’s actually, but who cares, right?), sitting on the sofa and waiting for him. Tora wondered what the amber-haired man was doing here. He assumed that maybe Saga just wanted to visit, or maybe he wanted to talk? Yes… Maybe he wanted to tell Tora that he’s together with that damn professor now and that he just wants to be friends with Tora? 

Shit. Tora’s heart was breaking already at the dreadful thought. How is he going to handle this if it was true? But then again, Tora wasn’t surprised, thinking back he really does get the worst luck when it comes to his love life. Well, there, Universe! You won!

Whatever it was, Tora was ready. He really was not expecting anything right now and had accepted the ugly reality.

Once Tora was finally done, he came back and gave the pianist his drink, smiling at him softly.

“Cold cocoa, since it’s almost summer.”

Tora could tell that Saga was touched by that and he was glad. He loves pleasing the younger man; it was always his own personal happiness. Tora backed away and leaned against the frame of the archway, putting his hands away inside his knee-length jeans pocket. His eyes looking interestedly towards Saga. He watched as the pianist took a sip of the cocoa before putting the glass on the coffee table. After he was finished, Tora spoke again.  
“So…you wanted to see me?” He asked curiously.

“…Yeah.” Saga replied timidly. “I wanted to talk to you about…what happened today.”

“At Kimisawa-sensei’s place?”

“Yeah… and can we please just call him Yuuki? I feel so awkward calling him that outside campus.”

The cinema student just laughed. “All right… All right…”

Tora watched as Saga gave him an uneasy smile. Tora was confused yet again. He thought that Saga would start talking by now but the other was just looking at him as if he was hoping for Tora to do something. And so he asked.

“What?”

“Can you…” Saga fidgeted. “Can you come and sit beside me? I feel that you’re so far away. We’re not strangers, are we?”

Tora just stared at him for a brief second, bewildered at what Saga said. He then laughed heartily and shook his head in amusement.

“Really…” He sighed exasperatedly but fond, moving to sit beside his friend.

Saga smiled when the other man was finally sitting beside him. Tora shifted to the side so he can face Saga better, resting an elbow on the arm rest. Saga shifted also to get himself into a more comfortable position; opening his legs and resting his elbows on his knees, hands loosely clasping together. Tora waited until the younger man looked at him, then giving the sign to start talking.

“Okay… so you already know that I went to Yuuki’s place today.”

Tora nodded.

“I went to his place to clear everything, because… I’ve been so occupied recently, thinking about the two of you. I’ve been thinking and thinking, but in the end, I couldn’t come up with a real answer; I don’t know how I truly feel towards the both of you. It’s true that I’ve been crushing on Yuuki since I was 13 but ever since I became his assistant for a month, I started to realize that maybe he will never notice how I feel and I am also too scared to confess because he was just…an unreachable person. Our age difference is way high and I’m also a man for that matter, so I started to give up, thinking that just staying by his side was enough. Then… you came.”

Saga smiled softly as his eyes went distant, reminiscing.

“You were…so spontaneous, brutally honest and fun, even though you have a very hard exterior. I was drawn by your personality, how amazing you were and how kind you were with others. I realized then that you were the most caring at me and I felt that maybe you were into me but yeah I told you that I don’t want to get ahead of myself, right?” 

Saga chuckled and Tora couldn’t help but chuckled along.

“My heart wavered then, and I started to develop feelings for you even though I wasn’t sure what it was. I just felt that I miss you already every time we parted and I just feel happy whenever I think that I’m gonna see you. I still have those feelings towards Yuuki but lately… it wasn’t as strong as it is towards you. Then you both confessed. My mind went crazy. After thinking for so long… I only came up with one option and that is…”

Tora could tell that Saga was hesitating on continuing so he just gave an encouraging smile.

“To kiss Yuuki…” Saga continued, a bit more relaxed now. “To see if I do feel romantically attracted to him because you kissed me, the other time and I…enjoyed it, so much. I felt that spark, the feeling of wanting more and you know…”

Tora was somehow happy hearing this, that Saga actually enjoyed their kiss and was even happier when he saw the light blush appearing on the younger man’s beautiful face.

“Did he kiss you then?” He asked, voice a bit playful.

Saga nodded. “He did and… I didn’t feel what I felt with you, Tora. Then you suddenly appeared in my mind and my heart just went crazy. My mind kept on visioning you while kissing him…then I realized that YOU were the one who my heart chose all along… I was just too stupid to figure it out.”

Tora could swear that his heart skipped a beat just now when Saga said that he was thinking about him. His heart began to beat rapidly then, once again trying to grasp reality. Was the universe finally giving him a chance? He wanted to hope.

“But…”

 _No, please, don’t tell me that it was a mistake and that you should choose him instead._ Tora started to panic.

“Will you give me a chance, Masashi?”

Tora lost it then when he heard Saga’s tone. It was the same tone when he begged Saga to be with him and Tora’s brain couldn’t even work properly because he kept thinking that this was too good to be true. So he just laughed, in disbelief.

….Which was not a good idea because Saga was frowning now.

“…Are you even serious?” Tora asked in a whisper, still aghast by the request Saga made.

“Tora, I’ve been serious the whole time!” It was Saga’s turn now to be surprised.

Tora just laughed sheepishly. “I’m sorry! It’s just that… I thought you were already together with him when you told me that you can’t be with me.”

Saga scoffed. “Figured. But I didn’t exactly reject you, Tora. I just told you that I’m still confused with my own feelings.”

“But still… I felt that I was rejected, you know.”

“I’m sorry… I guess it’s so selfish of me to ask you to give me a chance, huh?”

Tora couldn’t hold back his grin, he wanted to say something but his brain couldn’t form any words, too occupied about the fact that Saga reciprocated his feelings. Before he even realized it though, Saga was already facing towards the TV and not him anymore. His face was forlorn and Tora’s heart ached at that. Still, he couldn’t believe his luck. He was just so close on giving up but he was so grateful and the universe was finally giving him a chance. And of course, he wouldn’t waste it.

Tora knew that Saga was surprised by the sudden hug he gave but he didn’t care. He missed hugging the younger man so badly and well, he was also happy so why not show it, right?

“Thank you, Sagacchi. For choosing me. I promise to take care of you as long as you will let me.” Tora said beside Saga’s ear fondly.

“You better. I don’t do temporary relationships anymore, Tora. I want something real.” Saga whispered back as he embraced the other.

Tora let go then, and cupped Saga’s face in one hand affectionately. “So am I.”

They stared at each other’s eyes then, hearts beating fast and smiles spreading on their faces. For the first time in a while, Tora finally felt that this is it, that this man was the one who he will treasure. He couldn’t be thankful enough, that for once, he could get the one he wanted the most. Saga was solid in front of him and he was finally Tora’s.

“Tora…” 

He heard Saga called softly.

“Hm?”

“Will you kiss me again?”

Tora smiled softly. “Of course. You don’t need to ask.”

The grin on Saga’s face was sheepish and delirious and Tora was happy. Not long after, his lips were softly touched by Saga’s plump ones. It felt so good, Saga’s lips. He really couldn’t remember the last time kissing someone felt this good and yes, Saga was good at this. By the way he slowly moved his lips, gently and tentatively, enjoying every angle. Of course, Tora kissed him back as equal, soft and tender. 

They stayed that way until Saga’s arms began to circle around Tora’s neck, pulling him closer and opening his mouth. Tora wasted no time in plunging his tongue in, savoring Saga’s taste and exploring his new boyfriend’s hot cavern. He could hear the soft moan that the other let out and Tora couldn’t help the jolt of pleasure that twitched between his legs, hearing that erratic moan. He wanted to kiss longer but his body was begging for oxygen so he broke the kiss, breathing hard as he savored the view across him. Saga’s face was flushed beautifully, lips red and plump from their kiss, catching his breath.

Tora couldn’t help but smile when the other giggled, clearly delirious and so was he, feeling like a teenager all over again. Once they gained their breaths back, Saga collapsed into Tora’s arms, cuddling the older man. Tora just chuckled and stroke the amber-haired man’s soft hair lovingly, kissing his head. They stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other’s company in silence until something came up in Tora’s mind.

“Hey, Sagacchi…” Tora called softly. “Can I ask you something?”

Saga shifted, releasing Tora’s torso and sat up, facing Tora. The pianist smiled and the dark-haired man could feel his heart skipped a beat again. Damn, he should really get used to it because Saga was going to smile more often at him from now on and he couldn’t help but feel blessed thinking about that.

“What is it?” Saga asked.

Tora hesitated for a while. He really didn’t want to bring this up, but he was curious. He just wanted to be sure so that he doesn’t have to feel awkward.

“How did Yuuki handled it? I mean… now that you’re with me.”

The smile that Saga held slowly turned into a frown, but then he smiled again, a little small this time as he replied, “He took it well, surprisingly. When I told him that I didn’t feel anything and I felt guilty for thinking about you during the kiss, he just chuckled; saying that he regretted it for not confessing sooner. He really wanted to know who the guy is but I didn’t tell him.”

“Why not?”

“I was thinking… that maybe he will hold a grudge and fail your finals, you’re still his student after all. I know that it’s ridiculous to think that, but I’m just being careful so that nothing will happen to you… I care about you so much.”

Tora had to smile hearing Saga’s confession. He was happy that Saga thought of him so much but he felt that it wouldn’t be fair to Yuuki and wasn’t he already generous enough for Saga to choose him without any qualms? He also believed that Kimisawa-sensei was a good person so he was sure that he wouldn’t hold a grudge over him.

“But Saga, I think you should tell him. I believed that Yuuki is not that kind of person. I mean, okay, I’m pretty sure you know him way better than me, but from what I see, he’s a good person. Maybe you should talk to him. And you know that I have a good relationship with Yuuki, right? So I’m positive that everything is gonna be fine. And don’t you think it’s not good for us to pretend?”

Tora watched as the amber-haired man pondering after listening to what he had said. Saga leaned into his shoulder and Tora just let him be because he knew that his boyfriend was considering about it. He wouldn’t force Saga though if the pianist really wanted to stay low profile. They could work this out later after summer break so for now, he just wanted to enjoy his time with Saga and spend the summer break with him before figuring it out about this problem.

“Okay…”

Tora turned to look at Saga again when the other started to speak.

“I’ll go talk to him the soonest as I can.”

Tora smiled and stroke the younger man’s hair affectionately. “You know what? Let’s go talk to him together. This is our problems, not yours alone.”

Saga gave him a peck on the lips and nodded. “Thank you.”

Tora kissed back a little longer and grinned. “Can I ask you one more question?”

Saga laughed heartily. “What is it again?”

“Well… you never really told me in details about you and Yuuki, so… I’m curious…does Uncle Yuu even knows him?”

Saga gave him an exasperated but fond sigh, circling his arms around Tora’s neck as he sat up straight.

“Yuuki was my tutor, Torashi. He was the son of one of my parent’s closest friends. He was 17 when we met and we were friends first before he became my real tutor when he entered university a year later. He taught me until I was 16 but he started to teach me less when I was 12 because he was busy with school. I was also busy with piano lessons because my parents wanted me to focus on my piano so I was kept being home-schooled and went to cram school a year before University entrance exams. We kept a close relationship then, befriending Nao also. Uncle Yuu knows him too. I entered TOHO University because Yuuki recommended it to me and Nao when he became a professor there. Other than… I wanted to get close with Yuuki, Nao was also interested of going there so we ended up in the same University too.”

“Nao was also home-schooled?”

Saga shook his head. “No, he went to school. I met him at the park, played soccer together and turns out that his house was not so far from me.”

“I see. I’m guessing that your family and Yuuki’s family are close?”

“Yes. We sometimes spend the holidays together.”

“Huh. Okay then.”

“Is there anything you wanted to know again?”

Tora chuckled and shook his head. “No, that’s satisfying enough for me. Thank you, dearest.” He said and kissed the tip of Saga’s nose.

The other giggled and Tora was happy seeing the happiness that was reflected in Saga’s eyes. Saga was really beautiful and Tora felt really grateful that the man was his to treasure. For the first time in his life, he finally felt his life was complete. He took his time to just simply stare at Saga, adoring him, before he embraced his gorgeous pianist. Saga embraced back, sighing contentedly at the feeling of being so safe in Tora’s arms.

“Hey, Tora… Let’s go on a date during summer break.”

Tora released Saga but was still at a close distance, looking at the beautiful brown orbs. “Yeah, let’s.”

Saga just grinned and captured the elder’s lips once more, relishing on the blissful feeling of being together with Tora. Tora kissed him back, tender and loving. He felt so lucky then, that he would be able to kiss the pianist like this from now on because kissing Saga was heavenly for him. He was also happy that he was going to be together with Saga from now on.

His mind wondered to the most random thing then. How would his uncle react knowing this? Well, maybe he can find out later. For now, he just wanted to hold on to this moment. Things were finally at its place and Tora couldn’t be happier.


	9. "Only with you I can."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been almost a month since the last update, hasn't it? Sorry for taking it so long but I promise the next one will be fast! I plan to finish this series in December so look forward to it! Things are finally getting hot for these two and a smut is coming soon XD Hope you enjoy this one as well! As always, kudos and comments are appreciated <3

“Hey, Tora. Have you planned on going home during Spring break?”

Tora looked up from his laptop and turned to his lover who was currently reading a biography book of Rentarou Taki, an old Japanese pianist. Saga’s visit was a surprise because they had made an agreement to not see each other for a while until both their finals were done but here Saga was, lying on his bed while Tora was still editing a mini documentary movie for his final project due tomorrow. Saga didn’t mind being ignored by Tora because all he wanted was just to be with him.

“I have. Two days after Spring break starts. Why?” Tora replied as he turned back to his laptop again to convert the video he just made.

“I was hoping you can come with me and stay at my place for a day or two. My parents would like you to join us for dinner again.” Saga said, marking the book and shifted to the edge of the bed.

Tora turned to his lover again, waiting for the video to convert. “Oh, then maybe I can postpone going home. When are you planning to go back?”

“The next day of the start of Spring break. I need to pack some things home first.”

“Then I can just go back after visiting your place.”

Saga beamed. “Really? It’s really okay?”

Tora chuckled. “Of course. I’m sure my parents don’t mind me postponing my visit.” Tora responded and kissed the amber-haired man’s temple.

“Thank you!” Saga said as he hugged Tora and the other man just chuckled.

\--

They finally arrived at Saga’s home early evening by Saga’s car. Their plan was to go early but Saga had to take care of something in the campus first so they ended up going around late afternoon and was picked up by Saga’s driver. They entered the high gates of Saga’s mansion into the front garden, parking in front of the closed garage. Both Tora and Saga got out off the car and was immediately greeted by Saga’s maid, helping the young man with his luggage and two boxes.

They ended up going to Saga’s room which was on the second floor. Once the caretakers in the house left the young man’s room, both Saga and Tora collapsed to the bed and rested. Even though it was only an hour drive, they felt weary for some reason. They got up then after a half an hour and unpacked Saga’s things.

By the time they finished, both young adults heard Saga’s mother’s voice saying that she was back. They immediately went down and greeted her. As always, Tora was welcomed by the woman with a warm hug and Tora felt like he was also at home. Not long after, Saga’s father came home also, greeting them with the same warmth. Tora and Saga were forced to go to the dining room because both parents wanted to change before dinner.

They catch up during dinner, chatting just like a family would. Tora felt at ease and was happy at how Saga’s parents were so accepting of their relationship and how he was treated as their own even though he had only gone out with their son for 6 months. It felt as though he had been with Saga for a very long time and the cinema student felt happy about that.

It was finally down to one of those nights then when Saga was having a hard time sleeping. Granted, sleeping together with the one you love doesn’t always make you sleep better. It wasn’t that Saga was uncomfortable sleeping with Tora, but for some reason, his eyes didn’t want to close tonight even though he was in a very comfortable position. He had tried to sleep for almost 30 minutes now and still had no luck. He sighed and slowly turn to his side, facing Tora’s sleeping form.

He watched as his lover breathed in and out softly in his sleep. Sometimes, he really envied Tora because his boyfriend could fall asleep in just a few minutes. Though there were times when Tora couldn’t sleep also but for all the nights they slept (and literally just sleep, mind you) together, Tora was more into falling asleep fast than sleepless. 

He shifted closer and now their faces were mere inches away. Tora didn’t even move and Saga was glad that he didn’t wake his lover up. He kept on staring as thoughts began to run over his mind, thoughts about how they both never really said those three sacred words to each other ever since they started dating until now. It was true that they wanted to take things slow, and truth to be told, Saga wasn’t sure if he really loves Tora. All he knew that he cared for the other man more than anything but he never really know if his feelings ran deeper for the cinema student until recently, just when they finished their final exams.

He had figured it out when Spring break had started, how he was beginning to feel helplessly in love with Tora, and he even believed that he would sacrifice himself for this man. He wanted to tell Tora during those times but he always felt that it was too fast. Was it? More importantly, does Tora feel the same? He didn’t want to freak his boyfriend out by saying it too fast. They both knew how these words really mean to them and that was why they never really said it. But Saga couldn’t hold it back any longer. He wanted Tora to know and maybe this was one of the reasons he couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was bothering him more than he thought.

“Tora…” His lips slowly whispered before he even realized it.

He wasn’t really surprised when he didn’t get any response, and maybe it was good. Maybe he’ll just tell Tora while he’s sleeping. Maybe he could sleep after uttering those words, and so he did.

“I love you, Tora…” He whispered again, closer against the other’s lips.

Saga just smiled softly when Tora just kept on sleeping. At least, the pianist was a bit at ease that he finally let it out. Maybe he can finally sleep after all now. With a smile, Saga shifted lower so that he can circle his arms around his lover’s waist and buried himself against Tora’s chest. He felt Tora holding him tighter and let out a sigh of relieve, happy that he can finally go to sleep.

\--

The next day though when Tora woke up, Saga was not there in his arms, neither beside him. The empty space beside him was cold and he presumed that Saga had already woken up long before him. He turned to see the digital clock on the bedside table and it read half past ten. No wonder. Tora had already known that his lover wakes up at 9 the latest so he wasn’t surprised whenever he couldn’t find Saga beside him.

He finally decided to sit up and stretched his arms up while yawning. The door opened then just when he lowered his arms, revealing Saga in his casual home clothes; a pair of grey pajama sweats. Tora gave him a sleepy smile and the younger man just chuckled as he approached the bed. He sat in front of Tora, leaving no spaces between them and pecked his lover’s nose.

“Good morning, Torashii.”

The elder man chuckled. “Is it really still morning?”

“Well… You did miss breakfast.”

“Don’t I always do on a day off?” Tora said, making the other man giggle. “Are your parents out already?”

Saga nodded. “Early as usual after breakfast.”

“Damn… I hope they don’t think that I’m a lazy bum or something.” Tora said as he scratched his head out of guilt.

His lover just laughed, shaking his head. “Of course not. They understand that students want to wake up late on their holidays, no?”

A small smile crept its way on Tora’s face. “You’re right. I wish you’re the same though.”

The pianist shrugged. “My maximum time is around 10 and you know that.”

“Yes, yes. Now give me a proper morning kiss.” The cinema student said as he pulled his lover’s waist, dragging the younger man closer to him.

Saga just smirked and cupped Tora’s face with both of his hands before leaning in slowly. So slowly that it made the taller man growl in desperation. The pianist laughed at his lover’s reaction but quickly silenced when he felt a pair of lips on his. He smiled into the tender, loving kiss, feeling the arms around his waist tightened. They stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other’s lips and the peaceful atmosphere around them.

They both broke off slowly when the need of oxygen in their lungs began to surface. Tora gave Saga’s forehead one last affectionate kiss before deciding to get off the bed.

“Come on, you need to eat breakfast. I’ll tell the cook to heat up your food.” Saga said as he got up and smiled amusedly at Tora’s bed hair. He always loved seeing this kind of sight.

Tora just nodded. “Thanks. I’ll be there in a minute.” He said before exiting the room and head for the bathroom adjacent to the Saga’s room.

Saga went downstairs to the kitchen afterwards, finding the family’s cook and told him to heat up Tora’s food. He decided to help then and a few minutes later, it was ready. He settled it on the dining table just in time Tora arrived. They sat side by side with Tora eating and Saga just watching him. The cinema student complimented about the food and Saga began to start a conversation.

After breakfast, Tora decided to take a shower. They had talked about their plans today and Saga decided that he just wanted to spend the whole day at home with Tora since it was also cloudy today. Saga was caught when Tora reasoned him that the weather was good to laze around and the perpetrator just stuck his tongue out. The cinema student left with a laugh then while Saga stayed downstairs, walking towards the piano room.

Once inside, he sat on the bench of the grand piano made of white oakwood. The room was furnished with the same white oakwood; a bookshelf, three-seated sofas, and a display table adorned with trophies and awards that both Saga’s father and himself had obtained. This room was also Saga’s haven; a place where he could let out his emotions through melodies.

The pianist turned to the large glass window and stared at the cloudy sky before returning to the piano and opened the lid. He began to push random keys before engaging into a song; a melody that had been playing at the back of the mind. His fingers were automatically following the melody that was ringing in his brain. It was a soothing melody with tones holding hundred promises.

He didn’t know how long he had played but he finally came to a fading melody and stopped when he felt a presence by the door. It was a comfortable presence though and a smile crept its way to his luscious lips.

“That was beautiful.”

He heard his lover commenting on it along with the footsteps that was dawning near to him. He then felt the presence even near, just a few inches behind him.

Without looking back, Saga said, “It’s unfinished…yet.”

Tora just chuckled and made a move to sit beside his boyfriend on the piano bench.

“But it’s looking good.” He said as he sat down. “I can’t wait to listen to the completion.”

“I’ll work hard on it so please wait a bit.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Saga turned at his boyfriend’s words, the small smile was still plastered on his face as he looked at the other man. Tora reciprocated with the same, loving smile. They stared at each other for a while, conveying their feelings without words before Tora slowly turned and looked down at the keys of the piano. He pressed a few keys randomly in one hand before starting to form a melody. Saga soon joined him and they played a melody of their own, syncing two souls as one.

The melody finally came into a finish with Saga ending it with a press of the key. They stayed silent for a while, still enjoying the remaining melodies inside their minds. Tora turned slowly to stare at his lover, who was still staring at the keys, assuming that maybe Saga was still too occupied. He stared at the man’s gorgeous features from the side; his nose was perfectly pointy, adorned with the curve of his plump, moist lips. Following to his long, graceful neck that always make the older man want to worship it with kisses and love bites. His final destination was finally the hair. The soft, silky amber-dyed hair that Tora always enjoy tangling his fingers into it while they are kissing or simply just bury his face inside of it when they sleep together.

“I heard what you said last night…” He said without thinking, mind still occupied with the beauty in front of him.

Or maybe he was thinking because indeed, Tora was actually half awake when he felt the bed moving but didn’t bother to move. He even heard Saga calling vaguely in his mind before those three sacred words was uttered from the pianist’s lips. He couldn’t go back to sleep immediately again after that, thinking about how real their relationship was becoming and how happy he was that Saga actually loved him.

“You did…?”

He heard the pianist uttered so softly, almost like the other couldn’t believe it and scared.

Which Saga was. He actually didn’t expect Tora to hear him. He thought that the elder man was still asleep and that’s why he could utter it. But now here he was, getting caught right handed, making his heart beat twice from usual. It was a good thing that he was facing the piano and not Tora. Otherwise, the elder man would witness the blush he knew he was having and he would be more embarrassed.

Seconds passed by and Saga’s uneasiness hadn’t wear off because Tora was not moving or even answered his question. He didn’t know what the other was thinking or even doing because he still kept his gaze down on the keys. After somewhat forever, he finally felt the other man shifting closer to him.

“Indeed, I did.” Saga felt relieved when his lover finally spoke but had to keep the urge to look up. “Why didn’t you tell me...when I was awake?”

The pianist bit his lower lip nervously as he heard the curiosity hidden behind the cinema student’s voice. Saga’s eyes averted to his hands then, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt as he started to speak.

“I was...afraid that it was too fast. I mean... it has only been six months, Tora. I wasn’t sure if you were ready to accept those words because we both know how sacred those words are for us. But I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I love you. All of you.”

There was a pregnant silence before he felt Tora shifting closer to him again until their sides pressed together. He then felt a hand on his, holding him firmly.

“Look at me and say those words again...” Tora whispered softly.

The amber-haired man did as what Tora said, looking up at the handsome features he loved. His lover was smiling softly, hazel eyes boring into his brown ones. Saga immediately felt at ease. Tora always had a way of telling him that the elder man did love him just with his gaze. That was one of the reasons why Saga loves staring at Tora’s eyes because he can tell what Tora was feeling just through those beautiful hazel eyes.

Feeling courage just by those eyes, Saga lifted his free hand and cupped the other’s face softly as he brought his boyfriend’s face closer to him, eyes never leaving the other’s.

“I love you, Amano Masashi.” He said sincerely before leaning in to capture the lips that were all too familiar to him.

Tora smiled before responding to his lover’s kiss, soft and tender, conveying his feelings. His free hand moved to circle around the younger man’s slim waist. Feeling more encouraged with the sweet kisses, Saga slowly moved his body to straddle his older boyfriend’s lap. His hand moved to Tora’s neck, caressing it softly as Tora’s hand on Saga’s waist massaged the younger man’s hip bone.

Once they broke apart, Tora unlaced their joined hands in order to circle his arms around the pianist’s torso as he looked up to see Saga’s soft features tinted with faint blushes.

“You know... saying ‘I love you’ doesn’t need the right time, right? You should never be afraid to tell them if that is what you really feel; especially when you’re both already a couple. And I did say from the beginning that I want to have a serious relationship with you so you must’ve known from there on that I love you.” Tora explained as he rubbed the younger man’s back affectionately. “But I’m glad either way... that you feel the same for me. You don’t know how happy that makes me.”

“Jeez... I wish I’d said it sooner now...” Saga said as he chuckled and ran his fingers through Tora’s hair with his free hand.

Saga stopped when he felt Tora’s eyes gazing into his. Sincerity and seriousness were written all over it, making Saga’s heart stop for a brief second before pounding rapidly.

“I love you, Sakamoto Takashi.”

Saga could only stare for a while hearing Tora’s confession with that deep voice that he loves so much. He closed his eyes then while holding back the emotions that were overwhelming his whole being. He could feel his eyes starting to feel hot from the coming tears. He felt so overly happy that he couldn’t contain it himself. His smile never leaving his lips as he laughed whole-heartedly before leaning his forehead against Tora’s.

“I’m so happy right now that I feel like a teenager all over again.” He said with his tone still full of amusement.

Tora reached up his hands to pull Saga away from him a little so he could see his boyfriend’s face before speaking, “We’re not exactly an adult yet also so I think it doesn’t matter.”

The latter just giggled and Tora couldn’t help but grin at it, feeling influenced by Saga’s happiness. They both laughed at each other then, feeling giddy from the drug they created themselves. Saga began to caress Tora’s cheek as the other leaned against the affection. Little by little, Saga slowly leaned forward and captured the cinema student’s lips that were already so familiar to him. Tora didn’t waste time in deepening it by opening his mouth. Feeling his whole body began to tremble out of pleasure, Saga opened his mouth as well and began to dive his tongue inside the cavern of his older boyfriend’s.

Their kisses soon became more passionate and hungry as their hands began to travel on each other’s body. Saga couldn’t help but moan when Tora’s hands traveled inside his sweat shirt and caressed his sides, squirming at the sensation. Saga’s own deft hands also traveled Tora’s own body, starting from his built shoulders, down to those strong biceps and finally landed on his broad chest. The younger man teased a nipple, causing Tora to arch against him with a moan.

It was Saga who broke the kiss when the need of oxygen became greater than the need for his lover. He immediately let out a breathless moan when he felt Tora biting his sensitive spot just right under his ear and shivered when he felt the tongue soothing it. Tora’s touches and caresses became bolder as those hands traveled more on his body; from his chest, down to his lower belly and curving up to his back. The kisses also became more aggressive, caressing his neck, pecking his collarbone and sucking the protruding bone. The whole sensation made the pianist moan and gasp his lover’s name as he felt his member slowly becoming alive.

“Tora...” He moaned, clenching his fingers on the dark-haired man’s locks.

His cheek pressed against the cinema student’s head and he couldn’t help but kept on responding to Tora’s ministrations, driving him crazy and making him lose the last straw of sanity. He received himself a moan from the other when he accidentally grinded their hips. He could feel his boyfriend getting hard too and before Saga could lose himself completely, he tried to speak.

“Torashii... I want you...” He whispered directly into the cinema student’s ear, breathless.

The luring voice successfully stopped Tora from what he was doing and he slowly looked up at his gorgeous lover; face flushed with kiss-bruised lips, the most erotic sight he had ever seen.

Tora gave him a gentle kiss before asking, “What do you want me to do, my dear?” He grinned lazily with eyes still boring on Saga’s.

Saga circled his arms around Tora’s neck and kissed him briefly also. “I want you to take me... All the way, please. I’m ready. Claim me... Make me yours...” Saga’s voice was becoming more breathless and seductive through the end.

Tora was lying if he wasn’t surprised hearing that because this was going to be the first time they will actually make love to each other all the way. Sure, they already passed that stage of blowjobs and rimming but they always stop whenever penetration was to be involved. It also heartens Tora for he will be the one to take Saga’s virginity and he couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride on claiming that.

He held Saga closer and claimed those lips with full of passion, conveying his love through the kiss. The latter kissed back just as much passion before he felt Tora breaking the kiss again, “Are you sure, Takashi?”

Saga nodded frantically and leaned his forehead against his lover’s. “Yes... I want you now.... right here... right then...” He said sincerely, punctuating every sentence with short, wet kisses along with grinding their groins together.

Tora moaned at that and cupped the younger man’s curvy bottom. “I’d love to, love, but I’m definitely not gonna do it without preparing you thoroughly.”

Saga let out a growl of frustration. “Fuck! No lube!” He cursed.

Tora just kissed his lover gently to calm the man down. After a few seconds, Saga broke the kiss and let out a sigh. He stood up slowly and tried to calm down his already erected member. Tora just smiled apologetically before standing up as well.

“I’m sorry. I was in need and got my lust get the better of me.” He took Tora’s hands in his and smiled. “I want to take this slow and indulge every moment of it.”

Tora gave a loving kiss on the pianist’s forehead. “So do I. I want to make our first time unforgettable.”

The pianist just grinned deliriously and started to pull his lover towards his bedroom. Tora smirked and easily picked his boyfriend up, carrying him. Saga yelped as he automatically circled his legs around Tora’s body and arms around his neck. The smirk on the cinema student’s face got wider when the pianist just giggled. 

Right then, Tora couldn’t think anything other than how gorgeous his lover was.


	10. "Only with you I can." Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smex is finally here! XD Please be gentle with me for I am still learning to write smex and please do comment what you think since I'll be making multi-chaptered porn fics of these two in Jan! lol four chapters left of this series and I hope you guys enjoy this until the end! Thanks for the support! As always, kudos and comments are highly appreciated <3

~ PART II ~

Tora put Saga down once they were safe inside Saga’s bedroom. Saga walked to the panoramic window to close the curtain since it was still bright outside while Tora locked the door. Once the room was semi-dark, Saga turned back to face his lover and suddenly felt nervous yet excited. They were really going to do this all the way this time and Saga was ready. He loved the man in front of him and he was willing to give his virginity to the cinema student without regrets. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding this whole time when Tora walked closer to him, taking his hands and kissed his temple.

Tora placed both Saga’s hands on his chest, right where his beating heart was and Saga could feel himself trembling more from anticipation. His boyfriend felt the same as him, it wasn’t only the pianist who felt nervous yet excited, the cinema student was also the same.

“I love you...” Tora whispered softly and Saga looked up, seeing the love and desire in those hazel eyes.

Saga slid his hands along Tora’s chest and circled his arms around the elder’s neck; one hand on the neck and the other clutching those soft dark locks. 

“I love you too...” He whispered huskily before capturing the other’s lips in a slow, deep kiss.

Tora’s respond was immediate, circling his arms around the slim waist of the pianist’s. He didn’t waste time on slipping his hands inside his lover’s sweat shirt once again and caressed the skin of Saga’s narrow frame. They kept at a slow, tender pace with Saga caressing the back of Tora’s neck before the fire in Saga’s body took over, making him picking up the pace into a hungrier yet passionate kiss. He willingly opened his mouth when Tora began to lick his lips sensually, feeling that protruding tongue exploring his cavern until it finally met his.

The battle for dominance started as their kisses became more intense and Tora’s travelling hands became even bolder. The pianist moaned when he felt his nipples being teased, squirming under his boyfriend’s ministration in pleasure. His squirming made the obvious bulge between the two of them brush lightly and he could hear the cinema student groan through their kiss, feeling the body against him shiver.

Tora broke the kiss breathlessly, gasping the needed oxygen as he watched his lover doing the same. Saga opened his eyes and saw the hint in his lover’s eyes. He immediately lifted up his arms so the cinema student could take off the offending material. Once throwing it aside, the elder man didn’t waste time on smothering the long neck of his lover’s with loving kisses. Starting from his jaw, down to his Adam’s apple; sucking the protruding flesh before gently biting the collar of the younger man’s neck.

Saga gasped in mix of pleasure and pain when he felt the sting then the soothing caresses. Already, he felt his body ignite with want, trembling at the indescribable pleasure he was feeling at the moment. His knees were already wobbly that he didn’t know if he can keep himself steady any longer. Luckily, he had Tora holding him upright and he had the dark-haired man’s support, holding on to his shoulders for dear life. The pianist couldn’t stop his low moans every time his lover’s lips contacted with his sensitive spots and Tora loved it, sounding just like the beautiful melodies Saga creates with his beautiful hands.

“Torashii...” Saga moaned aloud when he felt a jolt pleasure going straight to his lower belly, arching his hips against Tora’s face.

The cinema student deliberately walked backwards, bringing the pianist with him and sat on the edge of the bed when the back of his leg collided with it. He looked up at the dark orbs of his lover’s hazed with lust and desire, asking permission again. The latter just nodded and he wasted no time on pulling down Saga’s sweat pants along with the boxers. Saga kicked off the remaining and threw it aside with his foot.

As always, Tora was stunned seeing the gorgeous human in front of him. Sometimes Tora wondered if Saga really was a human and not an angel because no human could have skin as smooth and white as Saga’s; very velvety and tempting. It turned Tora on even more when the skin was already glistening with sweat. His lover couldn’t look even sexier than this. He wondered his hands on the narrow frame again, eyes looking up.

“You’re so beautiful, Sagacchi...” He whispered a mix of devotion, before worshiping his gift in front of him once again.

Saga groaned when he felt Tora’s tongue teasing his crotch and down to his inner thighs, squirming when he felt a sharp pain mix with pleasure on the said thigh. He gasped again when he felt a brief kiss on the tip of his member before feeling the full suck on the head. He couldn’t stop the pleasured scream he let out even if he wanted too as he clenched Tora’s still clothed shoulders in a fist. He then shivered when he saw his lover’s lust filled eyes while still sucking him. He panted heavily when the cinema student pulled out, smirking at him before placing a gentle kiss on his lower belly.

Feeling impatient, Saga tugged at Tora’s shirt and the dark-haired man just laughed. He complied by lifting his arms only to circle it again around the thin waist of his lover’s when it was removed. Saga pulled Tora’s arms up so he could adore his boyfriend’s built body. Tora stood up and placed his hands on Saga’s hips instead while the pianist worshipped his faint muscled body with his hands.

Saga looked up to him and smiled. “You’re also gorgeous, Torashii...” He said before placing a tender kiss on the back of Tora’s neck under his ear, making the other man shiver in pleasure.

They both stared at each other before meeting their lips in a soft kiss, smiling into it and soon turned into smooches then escalated into tongue teasing.

“So...” Tora uttered, breaking the kiss. “Where did you keep it?”

Saga leaned his forehead against Tora’s, nose touching. “In the back of the drawer where I keep my winning eleven CDs...”

Tora couldn’t help but laugh at that, making his lover pout and received a punch on his bicep. Saga backed off and climbed on the bed while Tora walked to get the lube.

“I guess no one will ever want to go through your stack of CDs, huh?” He said as he searched the drawer inside the younger man’s wardrobe.

Saga just shrugged. “My parents always say it’s trash so I figured it would be safe to keep it there.”

“I guess that’s true... aha! Found you!” Tora said as he retrieved the lube, only to be looking at it in bewilderment. “Still full?” He turned to look at the culprit.

Saga couldn’t stop himself from blushing and Tora smirked at how red his lover was, not just his face but his full body.

“I never used it, okay? I only bought it for... you know... when this day comes...” He mumbled at the last sentence.

“Oh...” Tora closed the wardrobe and turned completely to Saga with a bottle of lube in his hand. “When was this?”

Saga shifted closer to the middle of his king-sized bed, arranging the propped pillows. “Two months...”

The other smirked. “So you were expecting this to happen two months before?” He teased as he approached the bed once again, climbing it.

Saga leaned against the pillows. “Maybe? I should at least try fingering myself, no?”

Tora shook his head out of amusement. “Ck... ck... Sagacchi... what a dirty mouth you have there.”

The pianist smirked back and reached out to catch his lover in his arms. “You love it, anyway.”

Tora lets himself lean against his boyfriend’s body and kissed his nose. “Of course.”

They kissed lazily for a long while before Tora got up on his knees between Saga’s legs. He put the lube beside the pillows when he felt Saga tugging on his short jersey pants. Chuckling, Tora complied and stood up, pulling down his pants along with his boxers and threw it away with his feet. Saga could never control his body whenever he sees Tora naked. His heart would start beating in anticipation, body trembling from excitement and hands eager to explore that gorgeous, built body. The cinema student sat back on his knees again, feeling Saga leaning into him. He groaned when he felt his lover’s explorative hands caressing his cock in slow strokes.

Saga couldn’t stop himself from kissing Tora’s shoulders, down to his muscular chest and finally sucking on the erected nipples. The other just kept on moaning and groaning at his lover’s actions. He pulled Saga by the hair and smashed their lips together in a burning passionate kiss. Saga moaned loudly into the kiss and fell back again onto the pillows, bringing his lover down with him. His arms and legs locking Tora in his embrace as Tora snaked his own hands around Saga’s frame. Their closeness caused their erections to brush one another and Saga brought their lower bodies closer before grinding their cocks together in a steady rhythm. They moaned in each other’s kiss, feeling their bodies out of control caused by the pleasure building inside them.

Tora didn’t stop on molesting his lover’s body with kisses when they broke apart. Each kisses brought a moan on Saga’s lips. He could feel himself losing it in every touch, every caress and every love bites. Tora was driving him crazy to the point that he couldn’t think straight anymore except for wanting Tora to give him more. He screamed when he felt his flesh being engulfed again by his lover’s skillful mouth. He clenched on the sheets, trying to get a hold on his sanity as he felt Tora’s talented tongue working on his cock. He couldn’t even control his body when it started to toss and arch from the bed. Luckily though, Tora was holding his hips down so he wouldn’t lose his mind.

He groaned when he felt that tongue slowly moved lower and felt his knees being opened a bit apart. He looked down to see what Tora was doing and whimpered when he saw the other man was starting to rim him. He felt the protruding tongue tease his most intimate opening, making him moan and toss his head to the side. After he felt that Saga was relaxed, he stretched his lover’s opening a little wider and started to thrust his tongue deeper into the hole. Saga arched his back high against the bed with a cry as Tora kept on thrusting in and out, sucking on it once a while. Amazed by how his lover had already found his target.

Saga stopped him when the pleasure was becoming too much by getting up from the bed with his forearms. Tora pulled away and was about to sit back on his knees again when the pianist had already lunched forward, kissing him hungrily on the lips.

“I’m ready, Masashi. Prepare me now, please...” Saga breathed; his voice close to begging.

Tora just nodded. “Okay, as you wish my love.” He responded and lay Saga back down again as his hand grabbed the lube.

Saga watched as Tora opened the cap and poured a decent amount of it on his three fingers before closing it again and rubbed his fingers against each other. He gestured for Saga to take one of the pillows and placed it under his lover’s hips. He opened Saga’s legs further and started to circle his lubed index finger around the sensitive hole. He looked up straight into Saga’s eyes and the other nodded. He slowly inserted his index finger into Saga’s opening, watching every expression his lover held. Saga gasped and groaned at the unknown feeling.

Once Tora’s finger was on the hilt, he asked, “How does it feel?”

Saga was so very tight and Tora saw it coming because it was his first time afterall. He needed to remind himself how to really prepare Saga because he knows that his was huge and being told from Saga everytime they do sexual things is also a constant reminder that he had to be extra patient with his lover.

Saga took a deep breath before answering. “I don’t know... a little uncomfortable, I guess?”

Tora nodded. “Can I move?”

“Yeah... please...”

Tora started to move his finger in and out slowly as Saga moaned lowly, trying to get used of the unknown feeling. After a few thrusts, with the approval of Saga’s permission, Tora added another finger, causing the pianist to moan loudly. Seeing the displeasure on his lover’s face, Tora reached out and entwined his free hand with Saga’s in hopes to make him relax and sooth the pain. Saga breathed, willing his body to relax and after a few breathless moans, he felt his boyfriend’s fingers started scissoring him; stretching him even further, making him grunt in pain and pleasure.

Tora finally inserted a third finger after Saga nodded at him and this caused Saga to cry out. Seeing that, Tora immediately placed soothing kisses on Saga’s body, helping him to relax. Saga kept on moaning and moaning that turned into a pleasurable one. He reached out and placed his hand on Tora’s jaw in order to kiss the other man. After crooking and bending his fingers inside the younger man’s opening, Saga finally whispered Tora to stop and the elder man nodded. He pulled out his fingers and sat up again, taking some tissues from the bedside table before wiping them. He leaned in to kiss Saga again before smiling, getting up from the bed for the final item.

Saga watched as his lover walked to get his wallet and retrieved the condom. The pianist just giggled when he remembered discovering it and got a ‘might come in handy one day’ as an answer. Tora just smirked and went back on sitting on his knees between Saga’s legs. Saga sat up and took the condom from Tora’s hands. He tore the plastic open with his teeth while his other hand stroked his lover’s already rock-hard cock. The cinema student moaned at the contact and grunted when Saga put on the condom around him. Tora took the lube and spurted a heavy amount of it on Saga’s hands, making Saga confused.

“It’s your first time, remember? You have to be as slick as possible.” Tora answered Saga’s unspoken question.

“Right...” Saga nodded and started to coat Tora’s condom-sheathed cock with the lube.

When it was enough, Tora captured Saga’s lips in a tender kiss once more as he lowered the pianist into the propped pillows. They smiled to each other before Tora backed away to settle himself between Saga’s legs again. He aligned his cock with Saga’s entrance, eyes looking straight at Saga’s brown orbs.

“Ready, my love?” He asked with voice full of concern.

“Yes... Take me, Masashi...” Saga answered willingly, preparing for the pain he was about to face.

Both men gasped at the sensation. Tora trembled when he felt his tip already buried inside Saga’s entrance and the other was breathing heavily feeling the intrusion. The cinema student started to push in unbearably slow for his liking, but he needed to be reminded again that this was Saga’s first time and he didn’t want to hurt his lover in any way. He felt the pianist’s hands clenching on his back and winced at the sharp pain as he watched Saga’s expression again. His heart couldn’t take it when he heard the pain so visible in Saga’s cry that he almost wanted to pull out and stop this.

“D-Don’t! Please... Don’t stop...” Saga cried out again as he opened his eyes to look at his lover.

Tora frowned in worry. “But, Takashi—”

“I’m fine, Masashi...” He whispered breathlessly, hands coming to cup the frame of his boyfriend’s face lovingly. “I want you... Keep going, please...”

Tora nodded and complied. He kept going very slowly, receiving constant grunts and moans until he was finally buried inside the pianist. They both breathed, slowly and Tora felt a shiver of pleasure all over his body. Saga was so tight and it felt so good. On the other hand, he also felt his lover feeling uncomfortable so he leaned in and propped his forearms either side of Saga’s sides.

“Are you okay, Takashi? How do you feel...?” He asked, showering Saga’s face with loving kisses.

“I feel...full. Yet... happy at the same time.” He answered with a delirious smile.

Tora smiled back and kissed his lover affectionately. When he pulled back, he stared at his lover’s eyes and received a nod, indicating Tora to move. Tora did, just moving his hips to get Saga used with the intrusion before pulling out slightly a bit and thrusting back in, encouraged by Saga’s moans. His thrusts gradually sped up by pulling all the way until the tip and thrusting back in, earning a cry of pleasure from the gorgeous human in front of him. He kept on a steady pace, feeling Saga’s arms circling around his back, bringing him closer as he started to move his hips as well, meeting Tora’s thrust. Soon, Saga’s hips began to move even faster as his moans became even louder and Tora got the hint that his lover was starting to feel the pleasure so he sped up as well, feeling each thrusts sending him pleasure straight to his cock.

“More Torashii... Faster... Please... A-Ah...!” Saga moaned pleadingly, making Tora’s heart burst with affection and how sexy his boyfriend was.

The cinema student got up on his hands as he started to thrust faster and deeper, watching his erotic boyfriend screaming his name and arching his back with pleasure. The whisper of the pianist name made Saga opened his eyes, grunting at how his lover was also so handsome above him, watching those strong muscles flexed in every move of his hips. He reached out his hands and pulled the man above him towards him, kissing the lips he loved so much in full force of passion. 

Catching each other’s moans, Tora embraced the younger man even closer as he went even deeper when he felt Saga’s legs bringing their bodies closer. The pianist broke the kiss and cried out as his prostate was spotted dead on. The pleasure causing him seeing stars at the back of his eyes. Tora kept that angle and thrusts even harder on that spot, making his lover’s moans raspier and it turned him on so much listening to Saga’s velvet voice calling out to his name. He buried his face on the pianist’s neck, kissing and sucking on the skin as he tried to mark the beautiful human as his.

Saga was feeling the same as he listened thoroughly at his boyfriend’s pleasure-filled hoarse voice moaning out his name right on his ear. He could feel himself trembling even more from the intense pleasure he was experiencing, making his mind go insane that he had to hold on to Tora to keep himself from floating. His pleasure increased when he felt Tora starting to stroke his neglected member at the same speed as his lover’s thrusts, making him losing control of himself, of his moans and also of his movements. He didn’t care if he was being too loud for his maid and butler to hear; he was just so lost in the love that they were creating together. 

Tora couldn’t take much longer on the pleasure that kept on pooling on his lower stomach and felt himself also getting lost on controlling his rhythm. Saga also felt it that his lover’s thrusts were getting sloppier and uneven but it still hits his sweet spot dead on. Soon, they were both out of control as their orgasms were approaching. Tora lifted his head and stared blurredly at his lover, panting heavily.

“Sagacchi... I can’t hold on much longer...” He whispered.

Saga nodded frantically. “Me neither, Torashii... Together now, please...” He whimpered and felt his stomach coil.

One last strong push sent Saga over the edge as he screamed his lover’s name, back arching high and hands scratching on the cinema student’s back. His white porcelain cum coated Tora’s hand and his lower stomach, covered in white streaks. Tora followed a second after as he felt the tight muscles inside Saga’s body clenching him from the force of the pianist’s orgasm, sending him to the seventh heaven too as he cried out the younger man’s name. He collapsed on Saga’s body and trembled at the force of his intense orgasm. The younger man was also the same; he couldn’t stop trembling as he struggled to bring back the oxygen into his body. They stayed quiet as they both breathed heavily and enjoying the aftermath of their love-making. Tora shifted his arms in order to hug his lover even closer, burying his face on the pianist’s neck. Saga also reached out and circled an arm on the cinema student’s broad shoulder while he placed his other hand on Tora’s head, stroking the dark locks lazily.

Once they regained their breaths back, Tora looked up, making the pianist turn to him. He slowly leaned in and their lips met in a tender, loving kiss. Tora used the kiss to distract his lover and pulled out slowly from him but Saga still managed to feel it, moaning lowly at the loss. They smiled once they broke apart.

“I’ll be right back...” Tora whispered and got up after receiving a nod from the other man.

The cinema student proceeded on putting on his jersey pants before heading to the bathroom. Saga rolled onto his back, still feeling weary and winced a bit at the slight pain coming from his bottom. He looked up when he saw Tora entering his room again with a damp towel in his hand. He watched as the cinema student took off his pants once more, his manhood already free from condom and proceeded on climbing up the bed again. He smiled as his boyfriend cleaned his mess on his lower stomach before taking the pillow under his body and threw the two items away to the floor.

Saga shifted a little to give some space as Tora pulled out the blanket. He covered the blanket until their lower waist before embracing Saga in his arms once again. Saga shifted closer as he circled an arm around the elder man’s abdomen, placing his head comfortably on Tora’s broad shoulders. Tora embraced him even closer if possible, tangling their legs together. Saga looked up at the same time Tora looked down.

“How was it...?” Tora asked, a touch of anxiety hitting his tone.

Saga smiled deliriously. “Definitely a first time to remember. I love you, Amano Masashi...” He answered euphorically and kissed the elder man’s long pointy nose.

Tora’s whole being was overwhelmed by joy. He buried his face on Saga’s hair and bringing his lover even closer to him as he murmured lovingly.

“I love you too, Sakamoto Takashi...”

They both closed their eyes as they enjoyed the warmth of each other. They both agreed that it was indeed a first time they would always remember because they both indulged every moment of it and made the moment perfect. They both felt happy that they were finally each other’s; mind, body and soul. Tora wondered when is it finally the time to make Saga officially his? No matter, they still have eternity ahead of them.


	11. “You are the blood that runs through my veins.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I skipped a week even though I try to update weekly since it's going to end soon! And I finally finished writing the series then couldn't help feeling sad about it cause really enjoyed it. I hope you guys enjoy it too until the end! Happy reading!

Saga glanced at his watch as he took a sip of his beer, sitting on the cushion of the izakaya he was currently in. He looked around again and saw that his friends from his cohort had already dug in their food at their respective tables. Yes, they were at a huge room with six tables, each containing of eight persons. The room was purely Japanese style; with shoji screens and tatami floors. The door was also a sliding door and they kept their shoes outside, wearing only their socks or even barefoot inside. Saga observed the people on his table. Shou and Hiroto were in front of him along with his two friends sitting beside them. His left side was empty while his right side was Nao, with a fellow graduate sitting beside the business major student.

Yes, today was finally Saga’s graduation, along with Shou’s and Nao’s too. After their graduation ceremony, their fellow graduates decided to have a celebration or rather, a nomikai at one of the famous izakaya in Ariake. Although, it was meant for only fellow graduates, the head of the coordinator gave a leeway for Shou and Saga to bring their partners since they were from the same school also. Graduation ceremonies in Japan are rare for families and friends to come to witness the ceremony so they only bring them at a different celebration.

Saga looked down when he felt a vibration from his pants pocket. He took out the device and saw that there was a LINE notification reading that Tora was almost in. When he put back the device and was about to get up, the said man had already appeared on the sliding door, apologizing to the rest of the graduates for being late. Saga sat down again and watched as his boyfriend walked to their table. The cinema student greeted his friends before finally settling in beside Saga.

“Hey,” Tora greeted the pianist, leaning in. “Sorry for being late, the cinema was so hectic for some reason; I couldn’t get out of my post.” He said and placed a brief kiss on Saga’s lips.

Ignoring the cat calls coming from the people on their table, Saga kissed back as brief before speaking, “Don’t worry. I was just worried where you might’ve been.”

Tora smiled and turned back to the people when he saw Shou giving him a glass of beer. He took it gratefully and took a gulp before putting it on the table. They all said ‘Itadakimasu’ before digging in the various foods on the table. It was both a barbeque and a hot plate, with various meats, vegetables and seafood. They all took some of it from the three types and put it on their respective plates before beginning to barbeque and boil the ingredients.

“So, Saga, is it true that you got into the Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra as the pianist?” Asked one of Saga’s friends named Yuki, who was sitting beside Hiroto as he grilled his meat.

“You bet it is!” Saga said excitedly as he turned back and forth his meat inside the boiling stocked water. “I’m starting this April and also working as a piano teacher for the free time.”  
“That’s great! As expected from the son of the once famous pianist in Japan.” Praised Shou before digging in his cooked prawn.

“How about you, Shou?” Nao’s fellow graduate, Shohei asked, sipping on his beer.

“Got accepted as a creative designer, also starting this April.” Shou answered, flashing his famous 1000 watt smile.

“So you’re ready to make storyboards for movies, huh?” Shohei said again, smirking at the artist.

Shou just wiggled his eyebrows as an approval. The people on their table laughed at Shou’s signature gesture. They dug in their foods again, laughing and chatting away in jolly, sharing away college experiences. When it died down, one of Saga’s friends that was sitting beside Yuki named Haku, laughed again. They noticed that it was a sarcastic one.

“So I guess that’s the reason why you’re dating Saga now, huh, Tora?” Haku said, glancing sideways as he poured some broth into his bowl.

“I’m sorry?” Tora asked as sarcastic as Haku.

Haku smiled mockingly as he put down his chopsticks and bowl. “Son of a legendary pianist, now about to become one, rich and beautiful.” He said as he said each sentence counting with his fingers, then shrugged. “Seems weird if you don’t have any motive, especially when you’re just a regular guy taking part-time in a cinema.”

“Haku, what the hell?” Saga said, giving umbrage towards Haku.

“What? I’m just saying.” Haku defended back with false innocence.

Tora was quiet for a while, processing Haku’s words and tried to think of a comeback carefully before giving a malevolent smile. “You’re right. A regular guy like me might want to take advantage of his fame, money and of course, beauty. But see, this is what you’re missing. There’s also just a regular guy who simply just love the person as it is without caring about his background.” He took one of his barbequed meats and chewed it as he continues, “Besides, there are many reasons why I date him. I could tell you every one of it but I don’t think you have the time to hear it.” He said and swallowed the meat, looking at Haku smugly.

Haku scoffed. “Oh, don’t worry, I got the whole night.”

With the smug still on his face, Tora leaned against the table. “Rather than that, why don’t you just tell me where this anger is all coming from? I noticed it ever since the beginning, Haku.”

“Woah, woah, stop! Guys, for fuck’s sake! This was supposed to be a celebration!” Nao interrupted quietly as to not bother the other parties.

The two men just looked each other maliciously before straightening themselves and continued to devour their meal. Saga frowned and glanced at Haku uneasily before continuing on eating his meal.

The situation was awkward for a few good minutes but Shou managed to lighten up the mood again by bringing up a topic for their graduation party with all the graduates involved. During the whole discussion, Saga kept on glancing at Tora every now and then, feeling guilty about the previous incident. His boyfriend noticed that and took Saga’s hand under the table. He rubbed the back of Saga’s hand with his thumb soothingly although his attention was still focused towards the discussion. It was then that Saga could finally relax and squeezed Tora’s hand in gratitude before focusing back on the discussion.

\--

“My goodness! I can’t believe some people are actually DRUNK this early.” Saga chided as he helped carrying Shohei to his roommate.

“It’s not that early… I mean it’s 8pm.” Tora remarked, looking at the huge clock on the station’s building.

Saga smiled at Shohei’s roommate when being thanked then turned to Tora. “8pm is actually early, Torashii. People usually get drunk after 10!” he argued back.

“Well, at least the drunken seniors are in good hands now. Don’t get so worked up, Saga.” Hiroto said, chuckling.

Saga sighed and straightened his jacket from the wrinkles from carrying Shohei.

“Where are you guys heading after this?” Shou asked, tucking his hands inside his jeans pocket.

“I need to go back to the dorm and pack my remaining things. My dad is gonna pick me up at 10 in the dorm.” Said Nao as he adjusted his glasses.

“I’m gonna stick here for a while and you know… have a private celebration.” Tora said as he circled an arm around Saga’s shoulder with a smirk curving on his face.

“We are?” Saga asked bewilderedly, looking up at his lover.

Shou just laughed. “That was supposed to be my line.”

“You’re going to have a private celebration too?” Saga asked again, this time at Hiroto.

Hiroto nodded with a smile. “Yeah. Probably in Odaiba. I’m treating Shou to anything he wants for the whole night.”

“Huh, probably sex on the beach.” Saga commented without guilt.

“Saga!” Shou scolded as the latter just grinned sheepishly.

“Well then, I’ll be taking my leave now. Good night, fellas!” Nao said as he bid farewell to both Tora and Saga.

“Wait, Nao! We’re taking the same train too!” Hiroto shouted before bidding farewell to the couple also, taking Shou’s hand and ran to where the business student headed.

Shou just waved as he was being dragged, signing to Tora that he will call later and Tora just nodded. Once the three was inside the station, Saga turned completely to Tora and stared at the cinema student, looking up at the man he loved so much. The guilt suddenly got into him again. 

“What?” Tora frowned seeing his lover’s expression.

“I’m so sorry about Haku.” He finally confessed.

Tora sighed exasperatedly with a fond smile, holding Saga’s shoulders with both of his hands. “Sagacchi… Why are you apologizing?”

“I considered Haku as one of my close friends…”  
“Well… I don’t really mind. It’s not like I took you away from him, I mean you guys were friends from the beginning. If he confessed to you earlier than me, he would’ve been chosen. He’s lucky that I’m kind enough to let him stay close to you.”

“I never knew he was into me. I thought that he was just being nice. I guess I was so oblivious… focusing my feelings only on Yuuki… until you came, messing up my heart.”

Tora frowned. “Are you saying that you regret being with me?” Tora asked, feigning hurt.

Saga laughed. “Of course not, baka!” He said as he punched his lover’s shoulder playfully. “If I regretted being with you, I wouldn’t stick with you until now.”

The cinema student rubbed his sore shoulder and smiled. “I’m glad to hear that… which makes it perfect for me to tell you something important. I hope you don’t have any plans on celebrating with your family after this?”

Saga shrugged. “Not really. I thought we would finish late so I didn’t make any other plans. They wanted to celebrate tomorrow anyways so I’m all yours until the day ends.”

“Great!” Tora chirped, taking the pianist’s hand in his. “Let’s go then… I wanna take you somewhere.”

“Wait, Tora.” Saga stopped him by putting his free hand on the other’s chest.

The cinema student stopped, looking at his lover bewilderedly. “Hm?”

“I actually came here with my driver, since my parents thought that I would get drunk. So if you want to take me somewhere, I’m afraid we have to go with my car.” Saga explained, giving the older man an apologetic grin.

Tora blinked for a few seconds before speaking, “Oh, okay. I guess that’s more convenient then.”

Saga nodded and started to tug their laced hands towards to where the car was before chuckling. “Where are you taking me, anyway?”

Tora just smiled playfully before catching up to the younger man so they could walk side by side. “You’ll see, my love. You’ll see…”

\--  
“Okay, can you explain to me again as to why we’re standing in front of Tokyo International Forum building?” Saga said bewilderedly with an amused smile plastering on his lips as he came to a stop.

Tora stopped as well then turned to his lover with a wide smile. “This is where it all started, Sagacchi. Our friendship.”

They were right in front of the building’s entrance going towards the backstage of the convention hall. It was the place where Gackt held one of his concerts, the day when their uncles introduced them to each other. It was also the place where they chatted while smoking after the performance. Tora was glad that the place was not so crowded since it was a performance time where all the people were already inside.

Saga suddenly got nervous. Tora wouldn’t plan any of this if what he was going to tell him wasn’t something that will change their relationship and possibly both of their lives. Yes, his thoughts were immediately escalated to a marriage proposal. Why else would Tora bring him to a place like this, a place of their precious memory if not for a big thing? Saga felt his heart beating rapidly against his chest as excitement yet nervousness tingled inside his body.

“It was indeed…” The pianist uttered softly, not trusting his voice to speak any louder.

He watched as his lover walked closer to him and took both of his hands, looking at him the gaze that the pianist loved so much. Strong, yet tender, love gaze, and it was definitely piercing through his beating heart. He stared back at Tora, trying so hard not to show the nervousness he was feeling through his eyes.

“Takashi…” Tora started, as he caressed the back of Saga’s hands with his thumbs. “You don’t know how grateful I am, up until now, for meeting you. If I didn’t go to that performance, I wouldn’t know how to reach you personally since… you seem so busy and hard to approach in campus. And I don’t want to look too aggressive in your class so I felt very glad when I got to meet you personally. I almost didn’t want to go ‘cause I’m not really fond of meeting famous people. I think the universe really brought you to me, I somehow believe that.”

Saga couldn’t help the smile creeping its way to his face when he saw the older man took a deep breath. Tora was definitely nervous also and that made the pianist’s heart beating even faster. Something big was really going to happen.

“Takashi…” Tora continued, “Ever since you came to my life, you made me feel the emotions that I thought have died a few years ago after my horrible break-up. You knew my history, right? I was never serious with anyone ever since then, until I saw you in front of my class. You caught my heart that instant and I never thought I could feel that emotion anymore. You light up my world every single day ever since then, even when I was struggling for you, our first serious fight. Then, I couldn’t thank you enough for choosing me, trusting me to take care of your heart and your first real relationship experience. After we started dating, my life grew brighter and I fell for you harder as days passes. Even when you’re being annoying—” Tora chuckled at Saga’s pouty lips. “—moody, and outrageously ridiculous, I still find you adorable and doesn’t make my love for you any lesser. On the contrary, it makes me want to protect you more and do as much as I can to make you happy. I love you, Takashi… I realized these past few weeks that I’m not really myself without you. You’re a part of me, a part of my heart that keeps me going every day.”

The tingling of nervousness inside Saga’s body suddenly changed into pure joy. His beating heart was overwhelmed by the warmth of Tora’s words. He felt his eyes burn from the blissful emotion causing tears threatening to fall. He was composed though, successfully holding back his tears with a fond smile.

“Masashi…” He uttered as he let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Tora brought their hands up to his face and kissed both of Saga’s hands affectionately. “I realized that I need you every day. I need you by my side always to keep me my mind on the edge. Honestly, it was hard for me when I could only see you thrice a month for the last 5 months you were busy with your final projects for your graduation. Those days really made me realize how worried I was for you; like not eating and sleeping properly, and the worst was, not there to take care of you. So, I want to ask you, to be always be my side and to let me take care of you every day. I need you, Takashi, because I love you.”

Saga’s breath got caught when he watched Tora releasing his hands and took something from his pocket with wide eyes. It was a purple velvet box and looks exactly like a box to keep a ring. The emotions in his being whirled into yet nervousness again and he reminded himself to breathe, inhale and exhale quietly. His mind was racing in a mix of Oh my God he’s proposing… He’s proposing! over and over again as the box was presented right in front of him in Tora’s hands. With shaky hands, he took the box when Tora gestured for him to do it. 

He stared at the box for a while, aware of how Tora was watching him. He took a deep breath and slowly opened the lid as his heart beating in anticipation at the ring he was going to see. When he finally opened it though, he felt his eyes went wide in confusion as he tried to comprehend what was happening. The object inside was not what he thought it was. Inside was actually…

…a key?  
“Takashi… will you live together with me after I graduate?” Came Tora’s chirpy voice across him.

With an unbelievable smile slowly creeping to his lips, Saga finally looked up to see Tora’s joyful expression, not missing the slight anxiety and hope within his hazel eyes, his mouth wide in surprise. 

“W-Wow… I… I…” The pianist stuttered for he was losing words to say.

Tora frowned in worry. “You…?”

Saga laughed then, putting his hand on Tora’s shoulder. It was Tora’s turn to be bewildered now.

“Saga…?”

The pianist finally died down his laughter and sighed before looking up at his boyfriend again. “My goodness, Tora! I thought you were going to propose me! I was nervous as hell!” He said, voice thick with amusement.

“Oh… Sorry I disappointed…you?” Tora responded with confusion still painted all over his face.

“No, no! Don’t apologize! It’s just—” Saga’s words were cut by laughter again though this time, he was more to giggling.

Tora just stood there, didn’t know what to do because this was the first time he saw Saga reacting like this. Once the pianist’s laughter stopped, he circled his arms around the cinema student’s torso in a hug and placed his head on the older man’s shoulder.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hold my own embarrassment from assuming things. I would love to live together with you, Masashi. I love you.” He said and kissed the dark-haired man’s cheek before pulling back.

Tora finally got to smile after the whole bizarre atmosphere. He placed his hands on his lover’s waist as Saga took out the key from the box. He examined the object and realized it was not a real key. It was made out of what he seemed a Styrofoam and painted grey.

“I haven’t found a place yet.” Tora said, as if reading the pianist’s thought. “I was thinking maybe we can look for the place together since I don’t know where I’m going to work yet.”

Saga smiled fondly again as he put the key back into its place. “One of the reasons what I love about you. You’re not selfish, and always involve me whenever you’re making a decision for the both of us.”

“Really? Isn’t it a common thing though? To always discuss things with your partner?” Tora said as he leaned his forehead against the pianist’s.

“Well, some people don’t understand the importance of ‘communicating’ in a relationship.”

“I’m not some people then?”

“No, you’re special. You’re my Masashi.”

“Yes, and you’re my Takashi.”

They both laughed at their own cheesiness before the amber-haired man leaned in and captured the dark-haired man’s lips in a chaste kiss. The cinema student kissed back before capturing the other in a warm embrace. They stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other’s warmth as they listen to the comfortable surroundings. Tora was the one who pulled apart when a strong wind suddenly passed them. He kept Saga close though, and the pianist placed his hands on the cinema student’s jaw, caressing the older man’s cheekbones with his thumbs.

“By the way, have you told my parents about this?” Saga asked, suddenly remembering how his parents are at living away from home.

Tora was deadpanned a few seconds before frowning. “Uh…no, I haven’t.”

The amber-haired man giggled. “I figured. Don’t worry, I can talk them out.”

“No, let’s—”

“Talk it out together.” Saga interrupted Tora’s sentence and finishing it with a smile. “Sure, let’s find a time and talk to them together.”

The cinema student just grinned sheepishly and received a pinch on the nose. Wincing, he returned the favor by mischievously kissing the tender spot of his lover’s, the skin right under his ear. He grinned in victory when he felt the other shivering. He kept on laughing when the pianist hit him on the arm again, loving the blush that adorned his dearest. Tora thought then, that he would witness this everyday once he graduated and he couldn’t wait for that to happen soon.


	12. “You are the heart that pumps my life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I skipped a week again, I'm so sorry! But I plan to post the two last chapters next week! Please enjoy this one as well!

“Are you sure until here is fine?”

Saga nodded as he turned to look at one of Tora’s friend, who was holding Tora up on the other side of the cinema student’s arm. After a bit of struggling going up the stairs from the underground _izakaya_ , the both of them finally made it outside on the sidewalk. The pianist thanked the man and apologized for the trouble his lover was causing.

“It’s alright. I’ll leave him in your care now coz I gotta take care of my other friend too. Take care, Saga.” The young adult said again and bid goodbye before approaching a blonde man across them seeming drunk.

Saga shifted to hold his boyfriend at a better position, circling the cinema student’s arm around his shoulder while the pianist arm circled around Tora’s waist. He held Tora upright and waited for Gackt, who was on his way picking them up. He glanced at his lover’s face before sighing tiredly.

Today was finally Tora’s graduation and after the ceremony, the graduates decided to go on a drinking party. In the interval between the end of the ceremony and the start of the drinking party, Tora had celebrated with his family, along with Saga and Yuu in Gackt’s favorite barbeque restaurant. A few hours before the drinking party started, Tora and Saga went to celebrate by themselves at a park near the _izakaya_ where the party was held at.

Tora had said after the ceremony that it was okay if Saga didn’t want to come because Saga hardly knew Tora’s cohort but Saga insisted on coming because he knew that Tora was going to let go tonight; meaning that his boyfriend was going to drink like there was no tomorrow and Saga had to make sure that Tora doesn’t kill himself. He had to take care of Tora anyways because he was worried that one of Tora’s _girl_ friend will try to take advantage of Tora’s drunken state. And it wasn’t just any girl of his cohort; it was the girl that had tried to steal Tora from him after Saga graduated.

He was right then, he just got out of the bathroom and he saw Tora, who was obviously tipsy, being seduced by the said bitch. He could tell that Tora was clearly trying to make the girl get off him but the girl was persistent. Saga’s face had turned red from suppressing his anger as he approached his boyfriend but the redness turned into a blush when he saw Tora pleading for him as he tried to reach for Saga with both hands while shouting “My love, help me!”, receiving drunken laughs from the people inside that private party room. Saga calmly kneeled beside Tora and turned to look at the girl, earning a malicious glare. Saga didn’t care though and was surprised when he was suddenly pulled by the cinema student by the torso.

Saga instinctively circled his arms around Tora’s shoulder as the raven head buried his face on the pianist’s chest. He turned to look at the girl again and couldn’t help feeling a sense of pride that Tora was really faithful to him, causing him to smile. The girl just kept on shooting daggers at Saga, clenching her fist in anger.

“You know, it’s best if you leave now. Tora is obviously feeling threatened by you.” Saga seethed calmly.

The girl was about to argue but Saga gave her an even deadly glare, telling the girl to fuck off with his eyes. With a loud snarl, the girl finally got up and turned away. Saga watched as his enemy walked out of the room. The movement coming from Tora made him tore his eyes off from the door and before he knew it, he was faced with Tora’s silly grin; the one that Saga find it adorable.

“Thank you for saving me, my savior.” Tora said and pecked the pianist’s lips.

Saga just sighed exasperatedly but his lips were still curved in a smile. He was so glad that he had decided to come even though he barely knew anyone in this room although some of the graduates knew Saga as Tora’s boyfriend. Tora recovered quickly though and Saga let him be, sitting behind the table as he watched his lover bonding with his fellow graduates. In the end, Tora passed out dead from drinking too much and Saga was worried at first, feeling guilty that he didn’t stop Tora but Tora’s friends reassured him that the cinema student was fine.

And now, here he was, outside the _izakaya_. From the beginning, Gackt already knew that his precious nephew was going to be drop dead so he had offered the couple to take them home after the party. Saga was relieved when he saw Gackt’s car approaching. The conductor stopped the car in front of the couple before getting out, helping Saga carry Tora to the car. Once Tora was safe lying on the backseat, Saga went to sit on front seat. After Gackt was also settled, they drove away into the night.

“Don’t worry, he’s always like this after a celebration. Just like when he graduated high school and went abroad. He’s gonna be fine. Just a really bad hangover.” Gackt explained, reassuring Saga when he saw the expression the pianist was holding.

The amber-haired man smiled in gratitude before glancing behind him again. Tora was sleeping peacefully now because he could see the rise and fall of his chest. He turned back to look the front and chatted away with his soon-to-be uncle.

\--

Tora woke up with a very bad headache. It was the agonizing headache that he had felt after a while. The same cycle that happens whenever he celebrates something. This was only the fourth time though. He still couldn’t get used of the throbbing and spinning inside his head despite the fact that he will know how hurt it would be. He rolled over on his stomach in the bed as he tried to withstand the pain. His eyes were closed shut, squinting hard as his hands clutched his hair and pulling it in hopes of relieving the ache.

The cinema student suddenly felt a warm, soothing hand on his head. The size of the palm was so familiar to him that he knew who that hand belonged too. The hand began to caress his head and it felt really nice. It was actually helping Tora’s headache aside. Every stroke sent mollifying touch to his pain and Tora just wanted to hold on to that feeling until the throbbing goes away. An involuntary groan made its way to his mouth and for a second, he felt the hand stop for a moment and he whimpered at the loss. Tora heard the soft chuckle of his lover before feeling the touch again, purring like a cat.

Saga watched as his lover slowly got drowned to his ministrations. Tora’s hands began to release his hair, putting it under his head instead. He had to admit that his lover was really looking close like a cat and that was what he has always been and Saga couldn’t suppress thinking how adorable his lover was. Tora had finally turned his head to the side, tilting up facing towards Saga and slowly opening his eyes. He was grateful when the room was dim. He knew then that Saga had purposely made the room dim in order not to hurt his eyes and with that thought in mind; Tora’s heart ached with affection.

The pianist smiled when he saw his boyfriend finally awake. He shifted closer to Tora at the end of the bed before leaning close to the man.

“Are you okay to sit up now?” He asked in a whisper because he knew well how sensitive the eardrums are when having a hangover.

Tora nodded slowly. “I think so…” He croaked, feeling how dry his throat was.

Saga helped Tora sit up and putting a pillow behind Tora’s back for him to lean against. He then took the water and two pills of aspirin from the bedside table before giving the said pills to the elder man. Tora took the pills gratefully and drank it, along with the glass of water. He drank more of the water after he had successfully swallowed the aspirin. Saga took the glass back and placed it back on the bedside table before reaching out to caress Tora’s forehead again.

“Are you feeling better now?” Saga asked, his voice was still low and soft.

“Yeah… My throat is also feeling better too.” Tora answered and held Saga’s jaw affectionately. “Thank you for taking care of me. I must’ve been a handful, huh?” He said as a faint smile curved its way to his face.

“Not really. I like taking care of you. I love you, Tora. It’s what I should do.” Saga responded as he placed his other hand over Tora’s, leaning into the touch.

Even in the hazy state of his mind, Tora’s heart could still skip a beat. The love he saw in his lover’s eyes were pure when the pianist said that and he couldn’t help but feel his chest warm, pumping his heart to keep him even more alive. Saga’s endless love never seized to amaze the cinema student. Even after two years, the tenderness that always reflect in Saga’s eyes had never doubt it. Not even the slightest. And Tora didn’t know what to do except for trying his best to show the same reflection. Right now, though, he could only appreciate it through a kiss.

“Can you come closer?” The cinema student requested softly.

Saga smiled even wider and shifted closer to Tora, sitting right beside Tora’s torso. He knew what the other wanted so he wasn’t surprised when his lover reached out and kissed him deeply on the lips, feeling those strong arms on his back. Saga returned the kiss equally as he cupped Tora’s jaws. Relieving in the kiss and how good it felt.

“I love you.” Tora whispered fondly when they broke apart.

Saga returned the devotion with a tender kiss to Tora’s forehead, leaning in against it as he closed his eyes and sighing in content. They stayed like that for the longest time, feeling each other’s presence in the comfortable silence. Tora’s curiosity won over though as he began to move his lips.

“What time is it, Sagacchi?” He asked lowly, eyes still closed.

“Last time I saw was close to 1pm…” The pianist answered, also still with eyes closed.

“Almost time for lunch, huh…” Tora said as he leaned back and opened his eyes.

“You actually missed it. I just had one before I came to check on you. Uncle Yuu might be coming to check on you about… 3… 2… 1…”

A knock came from Tora’s room door just when Saga finished counting. The couple laughed at Saga’s preciseness before hearing Yuu’s voice coming from the other side.

“Is it safe to come in?”

They both laughed before Saga shouted “Come in!”. The door soon opened, revealing the middle-aged man already in his work clothes and coming into the room, immediately approaching the couple. Yuu smiled at his nephew and put a hand on his shoulder before turning to the cinema student.

“Hey there, big guy, how are you holding up?” He asked.

“Better…” Tora said, “My head is still pounding though but I’ll live.”

The middle-aged man chuckled. “You’re okay to eat lunch then? It’s still warm and I’m pretty sure you’re hungry, right?”

Tora’s answer came from his grumbling stomach and the room went silent for a few moments before both Yuu and Saga laughed while Tora grunted to hide his embarrassment.

Still with an amused smile, Saga reached out and patted Tora’s stomach. “You poor thing. I’ll go get it for you.” He said and got up from the bed.

Saga smiled at his uncle before walking away towards the door. The men inside the room watched as Saga closed the door. Yuu approached Tora even closer and sat at the edge of the bed with a huge, amused smile on his face. Tora somehow knew that his soon-to-be uncle was smiling about him and Saga because it was the kind of smile that Tora always caught whenever Saga did something sweet to Tora.

“Uncle Yuu, you’re supposed to be happy about yourselves not from me and Saga.” Tora said.

“Sorry, it’s just that you two are just so in love and how many years has it been? Two?”

Tora nodded.

“I watched him taking care of you last night, Tora. He washed you before changing your clothes and I’ve never seen Saga so genuinely take care of someone… Well, maybe other than his parents.”

“That’s why, I… I feel like he’s a part of me, Uncle Yuu… the reason I asked him to move in with me is because I don’t think I’m fully myself without him…”

Yuu’s smile turned even wider because he knew that Tora was not the mushy type and when he did, it meant that he was serious. He watched the realization hit Tora’s face then came the blush and he couldn’t help but laugh at the dark-haired man.

“Damn it, Uncle Yuu! Stop messing with me!” Tora whined, faking anger. “Why don’t you just focus on your day, tomorrow? You ARE going to be a part of my family.”

“Yes, and I can’t wait to tease you more.” Yuu snickered.

Their bickering stopped when the door opened, revealing Saga holding a tray of Tora’s lunch. They watched as the amber-haired man entered the room until putting down the tray on the bedside table.

“Thanks, Sagacchi.” Said Tora with a smile.

Yuu took the initiative to get up from the bed then and offered Saga to sit. The pianist smiled appreciatively and took Tora’s plate before sitting down on the offered spot. He was about to start spoon-feeding Tora when the other man kindly refused. Saga couldn’t help but giggled, knowing the fact the fact that his boyfriend was shy being spoon-fed in front of other people. Yuu noticed it too but decided to hold his laughter.

“Well, then. I shall go to my work before abandoning it for a week. You guys are all set up, right?” Said Yuu, rubbing his hands together.

The cinema student nodded.

“What time is our flight again?” Saga asked as he turned to his uncle.

“Midnight. We’ll be leaving around 10pm tonight and Gackt will come back by evening so I expect you guys to pack already.” Answered Yuu.

“Don’t worry, I’m packing light.” Said Tora after swallowing his food.

“I’m all set up. Just my tolietories.” Saga responded.

“Okay then. I’ll see you guys later.” Yuu said as he started to turn and walked to the door.

The young adults waved goodbye until the door closed. Tora continued to eat then while Saga looked around Tora’s room. The grey painted walls were now clean from posters and picture frames. The room was only left with the bed, study table and wardrobe. The others were already picked up by Tora. The pianist felt a little bit melancholic because he had so many memories in Tora’s room, even before they dated.

“Torashi…” Saga called softly.

Tora grunted in response.

“What will Uncle Gackt do to your room?” Saga asked as eyes still wondering.

“The guest room.” Tora replied. “He wanted to turn it into Yuu’s photo studio but didn’t have the heart to do it, so he kept it as a guest room for us to stay too when we visit.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Saga responded with a smile. “I loved our moments here.”

Tora saw the solemn expression written on his lovers face and smiled softly, reaching his hand out to touch Saga’s cheek. “We had great memories here, huh?”

Saga turned to look at the man in front of him. He answered Tora with a chuckle before nodding his head in agreement. Tora’s room might be a place where they had their time together but now they have their own, together, for them to fill in their memories until time will tell.

\--

“There you guys are!”

Both Tora and Saga turned to look at the person who called them. It was Gackt, wearing a white tailored wedding suit fitting his slim-built body perfectly. He approached the two young men who were standing at the corner of the hill garden where the wedding was taken place. Once Gackt arrived, the middle-aged man gave them each warm hugs.

“Happy Wedding, Uncle G.” Tora greeted as he released the hug.

“Thanks, kiddo.” Gackt responded with a smile before hugging Saga.

“May you live happily ever after with Uncle Yuu.” Saga said as he released the hug as well.

“Thank you. Now you’re officially my nephew too. Well, not really, not until you’re married to Tora. I’m hoping you guys are next?” Gackt said as he chuckled.

Saga blushed while Tora just smiled coolly. “In the near future when we’re both settled, right Sagacchi?” He said and turned to look at his lover.

“U-um… yeah, I guess…” Stuttered Saga. “But don’t you think Shou and Hiroto are next?” He said and smiled sheepishly.

The three men turned to look at the couple standing beside the dessert buffet. Hiroto was looking at his camera’s monitor, holding it with both hands while Shou leaning into the monitor too as he eat his cream puffs beside the photographer. Shou was actually invited and both Gackt and Yuu agreed to hire Hiroto as one of the photographer although the blonde-man himself was actually Yuu’s intern now.

“I heard Shou is planning to propose Hiroto when he graduates.” Tora said as he took a sip of his white wine.

“I couldn’t see the reason of why not? They’ve been together for like what? Five years?” Gackt said, feeling amused.

“Almost six, I think.” Saga responded and took a sip of his whisky.

Right then, Yuu came, with his black-tailored wedding suit and joined the three men.

“Gacchan, there are people looking for you.” Yuu said, as he greeted at Tora and Saga.

“Alright.” Gackt replied and turned to look the couple again. “Enjoy the party guys. I’ll see you later!” He said before going to where his guests were.

“I’ll talk to you guys later. Enjoy!” Yuu said before following after Gackt.

The two young adults just laughed at their uncles before turning look at the horizon again. They now understood why Gackt wanted to hold the private reception in Hawaii. The beach was beautiful even at noon. The water was still blue and the waves were calm. It was also an opportunity for both Tora and Saga to enjoy Hawaii together. Saga broke his own trance and turned to Tora, looking fairly handsome in his black suit. The topic from before still lingered in Saga’s mind.

“Do you…really see your future with me, Masashi?” Saga asked softly, afraid that he might offend his boyfriend.

Tora turned to his lover with eyes wide in surprise. “Of course…” He answered without a single hesitation painted in his voice then frowned. “Don’t…you?”

Saga laughed softly before taking Tora’s hand in his, looking down at their joined hands before looking up at the dark-haired man again. “It’s because I’ve always imagined my future with you that’s why I asked.” He said.

Tora smiled softly and leaned in to touch his forehead against Saga’s temple. Saga leaned into the touch and sighed comfortably as he felt his chest getting warm with happiness. Tora looked down at their joined hands again; maybe it was about time for Tora to put a promise ring in one of the fingers on these hands.

\--

Saga leaned against the hotel’s panoramic window as he gazed at the ocean. The sky was actually very clear tonight and he could see stars twinkling here and there. He looked below and caught the bonfires from a group of people. His thoughts wondered then how the people could still have a bonfire party even if it was already close to midnight.

The wedding reception party had finally ended just a couple of hours ago and both men couldn’t wait to shower because of wearing the suit all day. Tora had offered his lover to go first because the cinema student had to go meet his family. By the time Saga finished his shower, Tora had already returned and was already naked, ready to take a shower. Saga changed in the bedroom then while Tora showered.

And now, here he was, still wearing a bathrobe while waiting for his lover to finish. He gaze shifted again to the calm waves of the sea. It had been a while since he went to the beach. The last time he remembered was the summer vacation on his sophomore year. Then again, Hawaii’s beach was different; at least that was what he felt. His stopped his train of thoughts when he heard his boyfriend calling him from behind. He turned his head just in time as Tora circled his arms around the pianist’s slender waist.

“Hey,” Saga greeted. “Looks like your drowsiness has subsided, huh?”

“Hm? You have plans for me?” Tora responded as he leaned his chin against Saga’s shoulder.

“I didn’t exactly give you your graduation gift…”

The cinema student tilted his head to look at his lover. “Oh?” He straightened himself and turned Saga in his arms to face the man fully.

The pianist kissed him briefly before smiling. “C’mon. Let’s make a night to remember here.” He whispered huskily before releasing Tora and taking him to the bed.

Tora didn’t follow at first, stopping the pianist and made him turn in confusion. The cinema student smirked before launching for the younger man as fast as a bolt, picking him up in the process and carried him to the bed. Tora carried Saga in his arms while tickling him, making the amber-haired man laughed uncontrollably. This, Tora thought, was an angel’s laughter.

\--

Tora collapsed as soon as he had reached the bed while Saga closed the bedroom door and put down their belongings on the floor. They had finally gone home to Japan and reached their apartment after long hours of flight and trip from the airport to their place. It was almost midnight and they had an early start tomorrow in their respective jobs. Saga joined his lover, circling his arm around the cinema student’s torso and put a leg over the other man’s. He pulled their bodies closer and nuzzled his face on Tora’s neck, sighing in content.

“Can we just sleep without washing ourselves?” Tora wondered as he hugged his boyfriend closer.

“You can, but I can’t.” Saga mumbled through Tora’s neck.

Indeed, being the hygienist type he was, Saga had to at least brush his teeth and wash his face for him to be able to sleep comfortably. Tora remembered the first time how he got worried when the pianist saw him how lazy he was in taking care of himself, sleeping straight to bed after work or simply often missing breakfast. Saga didn’t mind though as long as Tora didn’t mind him being hygienic and so far the two of them had work things out.

Tora turned on his side so he could face the younger man. Saga detached himself from Tora’s neck and looked up to see the handsome face he loves in the world.

“So, how have you been feeling about living with me for a week now?” Tora asked, stroking Saga’s face affectionately.

The pianist smiled. “It’s only been a week, Tora. I’ll tell you my opinion after a month but if you insist… Of course, it’s been great. How about you?”

“Vice versa.” Tora paused. “No actually, it’s been like heaven to me. Waking up with you next to me, listening to you showering… Just knowing the fact that you’re actually living together with me now is a blessing.”

Saga knew from long that Tora was really a person who doesn’t talk his feelings very openly and he also knew that when Tora does, it means that the man was dead serious and was not only talk nor flattering. That was why whenever Tora was like this; Saga’s heart always skipped a beat and gets flustered, leaving him speechless. Just like now.

“I love you, so much…” Were the only words Saga could utter before kissing the man in front him passionately, pouring what he was feeling in that one kiss.

Tora returned the kiss just as much. Conveying his feelings through the kiss also, gathering his lover’s body even closer, and showing him just how much the cinema student loved the pianist. It was true that maybe it had only been a week since they moved together but Tora believed that things will work out because they already knew each other. Those two years of learning, and they knew with this next step they can learn about each other more, which makes them both sure that it will bring them closer. Until time will tell.


	13. “You are my life, completing my whole being.”

Saga took a deep breath as he readjusted his black scarf in front of the full-body mirror. He examined himself through it and deliberately checked if there was something wrong with his broken white suit. The shirt buttons are all perfectly buttoned, the ends of the shirt are neatly tucked inside his dress pants and his inside vest was also perfect. He looked closely at the tailed suit jacket. The silver embroideries on the edges of the suit were not crippled and he was glad for that. Lastly, he examined his face and the light make-up that has been put on. He was ready, he thought.

Or maybe he wasn’t.

Why? Because his heart was still pounding rapidly and his hands are shaking. He tried to breathe and calm himself down. It was after all normal to have jiggers like this before a big change. After the years he went through, he was finally making a new chapter in his life and he had always hoped it will end until his life end as well.

A knock on the door made him jump out of surprise and he quickly turned away from the mirror and saw that the person who knocked had already opened the door. He watched as he saw Tora’s best friend walked into the room and closing the door. When Shou finally stood in front of him, Saga released a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Hey there _Hanamuko-san_! How are you holding up?” Shou asked with his infamous mega watt smile.

“I don’t know…” Saga replied, a touch of anxiety in his voice. “I’m still trying to process all of this. I never thought that this day will actually come.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” Shou put a hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “You both will finally get your happy ending. You guys have been through a lot. Celebrate this and start a new life together, officially.”

Saga smiled and took Shou’s hand that was on his shoulder. “I thought it was really the end of us when he really left me. But now…” He trailed.

“Look where you are.” Shou finished his sentence. “You will finally be joining me and Hiroto, build a family like Nao and Sakuya and grow old like Gackt and Yuu.”

“I know. I’ve always hoped I would end up with him. The time when we broke-up was the time that made this hard to believe. Believing that I’m going to give myself completely to him for the rest of my life.”

“He’s going to take care of you and make you happy, I’m sure. I know him and I’m most certainly sure, you know him too. He had been the best friend I ever had, Saga, and he will be the best life partner you’ll ever have too.” Shou paused and whispered the next words sincerely close to his face. “He’s going to be the best husband you’ll ever have.”

_Husband_.

Saga loved the sound of that and he couldn’t believe that it was just a few minutes away for the priest to pronounce him as Tora’s _husband_. Saga chuckled, looking up to see Shou completely. He was grateful that the person who knows Tora best was here to assure him that everything will be alright. He believed that, and he did. He trusts Tora with every fiber of his being and he wouldn’t marry him if he didn’t.

The pianist circled his arms around the designer’s torso, hugging him whole-heartedly.

“Thank you, Shou. I really needed that.” He said, voice rasped of unshed tears.

“Anytime, my friend.” Shou replied, with his softest voice.

When they finally break the hug, Saga looked at his ring finger and traced it with his other fingers before taking it out. He held the silver-black endless knot ring in his palm and stared at it for a while. It was the ring Tora gave long ago on their 5th anniversary. They both had agreed to use this as their wedding rings because the ring had held so many memories.

“Keep it safe, please…” He said as he gave the ring to Shou.

Shou chuckled. “Saga, please, it’s only for an hour. I won’t lose it.”

The brunette also laughed and took a deep breath again. In just an hour more, he will finally realize the dream he had always been waiting for.

\--

Tora sighed contentedly when his hair was finally done. He thanked his stylist and nodded when the stylist excused himself to exit the room. He stood from his chair and went to look at himself on the full-body mirror. The suit he worn was the same with Saga’s except that his version was all black, even the shirt and only the scarf that was white. He was finally ready and mentally, he was even more ready. He had been waiting for this day to come but he’ll lie if he thought that he wasn’t nervous. Of course, he was going to finally settle with Saga, and build a family with him, spending the rest of his life together with another person. He had been imagining it but today was real. As _real_ as he was going to be Saga’s husband, _today_.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts and before he even went to open the door, Saga’s best friend was already letting himself in, looking cheerful like he usually was. He didn’t waste time approaching the brunette and punched his shoulder in a playful way.

“Looking sharp there, buddy!” He said.

Tora just winced and rubbed the spot that had been hit, looking at the father of two with an uneasy smile.

“You’re too excited, Nao.” Tora said, chuckling.

“Sorry. It’s just that you two are finally doing it and I just can’t help but feel psyched cause I’ve always been cheering for you.” Nao said. “We all are actually… and got heart-broken when you… left Saga.”

The smile in Tora’s face went dark for a second, thinking about their break-up but smiled softly again when he shook those thoughts and focused on the present.

“I was a fool that time but I’m not going to say I regretted it. It made me open my eyes that I really couldn’t be with someone other than Saga. I was there physically but my soul was dead. I’m really thankful that I got on the right path again.” Tora said as his mind recalled the memory.

Nao was silent for a while, letting Tora pass the emotion before starting to speak again.

“I want to tell you a secret. Well, maybe you can tell Saga after this, but it’s still a secret.”

Tora tilted his head to the said, getting curious with what Nao had in mind.

“You almost lost him, Tora.” Nao confessed.

Tora was surprised at that and it was shown on his face; eyes wide in surprise and a heart thump.

“Yeah, a day before you begged him to get back together with you…” Nao paused, looking for the right words. “Let’s just say, Saga made a promise to himself that he will forget you completely. He had even packed all of the things and memories of the two of you in a box, ready to be buried. And you know well once he made up his mind he never goes back, right?”

Tora let out a breath to calm himself from the instant fear. “I can’t believe I almost lost the love of my life.”

Nao smiled. “But you didn’t. It was meant to be, Tora. That’s why… please; take care of him, okay? Saga really loves you.”

“I will, Nao. I will protect all of him; his happiness, his heart and his soul. I love him so much that sometimes it hurts so bad. Otherwise… I wouldn’t marry him.” Tora said sincerely.

Nao couldn’t help but feel the uttermost joy he had for a while. He believes that Tora and Saga’s marriage will last forever. The both of them had taste the bitterness in life and it had made them realize their true feelings. Lost in his own thoughts, Nao didn’t realize that the taller man was hugging him. He chuckled and patted the black-haired man back.

“Thank you…for entrusting your best friend in my care for the rest of his life, Nao. I promise I’ll cherish him every day.” Tora said again, his voice thick with emotions.

Nao smiled. “I trust you.” He let go of the hug and put both of his hands on Tora’s shoulders. “You’re going to be the greatest husband to him.”

Tora grinned but Nao could see the unshed tears within those hazel orbs. The businessman laughed again in order to lighten up the mood.

“Now don’t get too emotional yet. You haven’t even said your vows yet.” Nao teasingly said.

The groom chuckled. “Yeah…”

Nao patted Tora’s shoulders again. “All right. I shall leave and you shall go out soon too. Everybody’s waiting.” He said as he let go of Tora and walked towards the door.

“Wait, Nao!” Tora called before the businessman could leave the room.

Nao stopped and turned, looking at Tora confusedly. Tora took out his ring from his ring finger as he approached his soul mate’s best friend. Seeing the action, Nao immediately opened his palm and Tora put the ring in it.

“Right… give this to Hiroto, ne?” Nao said with a smile.

Tora nodded and looked back to the dresser again once Nao was gone. He took the time to look at himself once more and imagined Saga wearing the same outfit with a different color. His mind was railing and his heart was beating faster than the usual. He was ready; both mind and soul. He had wanted this for so long and thinking that one of his dream was actually going to come true made the ex-cinema student even more eager to just get this done.

But then again, he really wanted to make this day a memorable one because it was going to be once in a lifetime.

\--

Saga’s nerves became a wreck once again when he arrived at the site. The audiences were already stood up and he turned to watch his mother coming to him until she finally stood beside her son. The flower girl—Nao’s daughter—looked up at him with a smile before turning and starting to scatter the flower petals down the aisle. Saga breathed before following the little girl, with his mother escorting him. The music in the background was his and Tora’s composition made especially for their wedding and Saga couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the whole situation. He looked up to see Tora already standing at the end of the aisle, looking at him with eyes that reflected the same emotion like the first time Tora said ‘I love you’ to him; pure adoration, love and amazement.

Tora was still trying to grasp the reality that the beautiful man walking before him was going to be his soon. The overwhelmed feelings that were warming his chest had made his eyes hot with unshed tears. He watched as his beloved approached closer and closer until Saga’s mother finally gave her son’s hand to him. The raven-haired man reached out to it and held the hand that he was going to hold for the rest of his life. Saga smiled and let his soon-to-be husband guide him up to the stage. He stood in front of Tora with the widest smile he had ever put on in his entire life. They both turned to the marriage officiant and the music stopped, the same time as the audiences sat back in the seats.

“Dearly beloved, welcome and thank you for being present on this important and special day. We are gathered together to celebrate the very special love between Amano Masashi and Sakamoto Takashi, by joining them in marriage.”

A loud sniffing sound was heard in the background and the people turned to see who it was, even the grooms. Saga spotted Nao on the first row, holding a handkerchief and wiping his nose. He could clearly see that his childhood friend was crying. The culprit waved his hands, saying ‘Don’t mind me.’ and the grooms could only shake their heads amusedly.

“Marriage,” the officiant continued, “is the most intimate of all relationships. It is the ultimate commitment to love, share, trust and grow with another person. It is the beginning of a whole new life. Marriage is a symbol of the commitment to create a lifelong partnership based on love. Marriage is much more than your signatures on a legal contract.

You are promising, in front of all these people you love, that you want to be with each other and only each other for the rest of your lives, and that you will do everything in your power to honor the promises you are making here today.”

Both Tora and Saga nodded at the officiant’s final words. The officiant looked at each of their eyes before smiling and continuing.

“You may now exchange your wedding vows and rings.”

From the corners of the straight line where the officiant was standing, Shou came out of the line and approached the grooms with a velvet box in his hand, standing behind Saga. Hiroto did the same and stood behind Tora. The grooms turned to face each other again with embarrassed smiles on their faces. Tora laughed shyly to ease away his nervousness before gathering the words he wanted to promise.

“Takashi, we both know that I’m not really good with words, but for this onetime, allow me to completely open myself and reveal how I felt about you to everyone here, today. Takashi, my dear, since the first time I saw you, I’ve always felt that you were special to me. You were so gorgeous, even without intending to. You overwritten my view of the cherry blossoms that I thought was already the most beautiful thing. I liked you instantly then and as days went by spent together with you, I fell in love. The best thing that had ever happened to me was the moment when you reciprocated my feelings. Thank you for choosing me and loving me the way I am, all that I had offer. I know our journey has not been so smooth, but our difficulties were the ones that made us better, leading us towards this day; the day that I promise I will give my all for you.

I promise to cherish you, protect your happiness, body, mind and soul. Always; for the rest of our lives until death do us apart. You are the love of my life and you make me happier than I could ever imagine and more loved than I ever thought possible. You are a part of me that I could never live without. I don’t know what lies beyond this long journey we’re gonna make but, I promise that there won’t be anymore worrying nights. This, I promise you. I’m so blessed to be the one marrying you. I love you, Sakamoto Takashi.”

Saga couldn’t hold back the tear flowing freely on his right eye even if he wanted to. Tora’s vow just touched his soul so much and he couldn’t believe just how lucky he was for having this man all to himself for the rest of his life. He chuckled embarrassedly when he felt Tora wiping his tear, earning a chuckle as well from the other.

“Damn you, Masashi, how am I suppose to top that?!” He scolded playfully and laughter erupted from the audiences. Saga took a deep breath again before finally speaking out his heart.

“Masashi, you know me better than anyone else in this world, and you still manage to love me unconditionally. Even on my worst state, you were still there by my side without judging. You made me feel that it’s okay to be selfish and manipulate someone at the same time. Your unconditional love had made me into a better person. You always pull me into the light when I was drowning in darkness. You were always there for me with open arms, embracing me with your love and kindness. Honestly, I still can’t believe that I’m the person who gets to marry you, a partner I could ever dream of.

Let’s walk through eternity together and let’s make our dreams come true little by little. I promise to always defend you even when the world thinks wrongly of you. I promise to always play the piano with you on our anniversaries. I promise to always be by your side, in sickness and in health, in good and worse… and even in death. I know that my feelings will never change, even when the worst happens because… I have been through that trial. And of course, I promise to save you from every insect that harms you.” –at this, everyone laughed. Saga just grinned slyly though before continuing again. “I love you, Amano Masashi.” He ended sincerely reflected through his smile and eyes.

Tora took a deep breath in order to hold back the overwhelming joy that was about to pour out of his being. They still had important things to do and he didn’t want to lose himself now. With the sign that the officiant gave, both Tora and Saga turned back to retrieve the rings from their best friends. Tora was the first one who put on the ring in Saga’s left ring finger, still perfectly fit after all these years. Saga did the same after that and they laced their hands together as their eyes stare at each other’s.

“Do you, Amano Masashi, welcome Sakamoto Takashi as your husband, offering him your love and encouragement, your trust and respect, your soul and whole being, as walking on your never-ending journey, creating your future together?”

“I solemnly do.” Tora answered with a sincere and fond smile.

“Do you, Sakamoto Takashi, welcome Amano Masashi as your husband, offering him your love and encouragement, your trust and respect, your soul and whole being, as walking on your never-ending journey, creating your future together?”

This time, it was Saga that answered equally, “I solemnly do.”

“Masashi and Takashi, you have heard the words about love and marriage, have exchanged your vows and made your promises, and celebrated your union with the giving and receiving of rings.

It is my pleasure, at this time, that I now pronounce you husband and husband.

Though I know you may have kissed many times, but let’s also seal this union with a kiss!”

Both Tora and Saga laughed before finally leaning into each other for a passionate kiss. They could feel each other’s smile as their lips touched. Applauds and congratulatory words were heard in the background, some were even whistling. When they broke apart, they burst into laughter again, releasing their joy before Tora once again leaned it to kiss his new husband in the forehead lovingly. He looked at Saga’s chocolate eyes and saw radiant light shining through, reflecting his own feelings. Saga grinned before turning to the audiences and bowed out of gratitude. Tora tugged Saga down from the aisle and Saga complied happily. They walked to exit the venue and soon thrown flowers surrounded them until they made it to the awaiting car.

\--

Laughter erupted when Nao ended his speech about Tora and Saga. As always, Nao had been good with humour and lighting up the reception. The newlyweds thanked their best friend, still feeling touched at Nao’s speech. They both watched as the father of two descended the stage and around the room.

The wedding reception was held not far away from the wedding ceremony in the mountain resort. It was sunny, and the weather was perfect for an outdoor wedding, which Tora and Saga was glad at. The arrangement of the place was typical, with the main family sitting at the long table facing the space filled with round tables of six for guests. The place was surrounded by the lake view with green trees, making the atmosphere fresh and bright. A small stage that was equipped with a grand piano made of glass and a projector with a speaker and mic at the corner between the space of the long table and the guest tables.

It has always been a wedding the newlyweds had ever dreamed of and they were glad that the concept went with what they had in mind. The venue was filled with claps and Shou, volunteering himself as the MC went back to the stage.

“Thank you to all those who had said their speeches. We all now know how far of a journey both our newlyweds had been through.” Shou said and smiled knowingly at Saga. “And now, as a closing for their wonderful journey before starting another yet, a never-ending journey, one of our dearest grooms would like to present a very special song for his beloved husband. I welcome you, Amano Takashi!”

Tora turned to his husband in confusion as the sound of claps started to roar. The pianist just smiled sheepishly at the raven-haired man before standing up and kissing him. Saga made his way to the stage and took the mic from Shou before the designer descended the stage to give the spotlight to Saga.

“Hello everyone. Once again, I would like to thank you all for coming to our important and special day. I hope you guys are having a good time.” Laughter erupted again, and Saga paused for a while. “As what Shou had told you, I would like to present a song to welcome both me and Masashi’s never-ending journey.” He said and turned to look at Tora.

Tora looked back with a smile, momentarily stunned at his husband’s angelic presence standing on the stage. They both had changed into the traditional wedding hakamas. The pants were a matching grey color. Saga’s haori and the inside of the kimono was white while Tora wore the opposite color; his haori was black. His husband’s hair had went back to his original black hair making the man on the stage looked more exotic and sultry.

Saga smiled even wider and eyes brighter. “Masashi, this is a song I composed especially for you all those years ago, when we were still in college. It was the unfinished piece that you were waiting for. Honestly, I was afraid that I might never get to play this song to you but I’m glad that we ended up together, for the rest of our lives. I love you, Torashii. I hope you like it.” Saga purposely emphasized their nicknames for the whole world to know and put the mic back on the stand.

Claps erupted again and died down when Saga got on the piano seat, readying himself to play the piano. He pressed a few keys to test out the sound coming from the speaker. When he thought it was okay, he took a deep breath and looked at Tora once more, receiving a nod from his husband for encouragement. With another smile, he finally started to press the keys and performed.

The opening was a soft press of the keys and briefly stopped. The next thing Tora heard was the full intro. It was a soft and soothing melody, making the atmosphere calm and serene. Tora could feel the passion Saga was delivering through the keys. Entering the bridge was a high note but still stick to the serene melody as it nears through the chorus it got more intense and the raven-haired man could see his husband glancing at him every now and then.

When the chorus was finally reached, Saga slowed down the keys again into the same soothing tone, conveying his feelings through the melody as he kept on smiling at Tora. From the soothing tone it gradually became higher and higher, making Saga pressing more on the keys. Through the climax, Saga slowed down again until he finally made a brief stop again.

The melody repeated again and Tora could really sense the love overflowing his husband’s aura through the song now. The loving glances he receives every now and then, tugging his heart strings in pure adoration. Saga’s form was practically glowing, even though the raven-haired man had watched the black-haired man perform many times in stage. This was different. The Saga in front of him was really conveying his love through the melodies his husband was currently playing. It touched his core and he could feel his body burst from the overwhelming feeling, making his eyes sting in joy.

Saga finally ended the song by pressing a few keys again until it faded out as he closed his eyes. Soon, cheers and claps roared around the venue and he opened his eyes again. He looked up at the guests, family and his friends standing up, applauding at his performance. He stood up and bowed, watching as Tora striding towards him. He got out of the piano and opened his arms as soon as his husband reached him, picking up his body from the stage and embracing him.

“That was so beautiful…” Tora whispered in Saga’s ear, voice almost breaking.

Saga pulled away an inch to see the raven-haired man’s face and saw tears trickling down from his hazel eyes. The smile that was plastered on it was pure genuine. Saga delighted the view. It was rare to see Tora cry; both sad and in joy.

Tora leaned in again. “I love you, so much…” He said before capturing his husband’s lips.

Somewhere from afar, Saga heard the camera shutter and he knew that Hiroto and Yuu were taking their picture. He didn’t mind though because this was going to be a moment where he will always remember, and he would like that to be in a frame. He also knew that Tora will want the same too. When they finally broke the kiss, Tora stared at his husband’s face and deep inside of him was so grateful that Saga was finally forever his.

Until death tears them apart.

 


	14. “My darling, you are so perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is finally the last chapter! I can't believe I actually made it! Thank you so much to all readers who have stick with this story and for your support! I've been encouraged by all of you and I'm satisfied with how this story ends. I'm actually sad that this is ending because I enjoyed writing this so much. There might be more from this universe in the future maybe but right now, this officially the end so thank you guys so much!
> 
> A closing to this story and a closing of this year too. Happy New Year guys! I hope you will have a good hell of a year in 2018 too!

EPILOGUE

 

“Torashii! Over here!”

Feeling his name being called, Tora looked up from the semi-crowded crowd in front of him and saw his husband waving not so far away. He smiled and approached the now brunette man. Once he got closer, he noticed that Saga was wearing a yukata. It was a grey colored yukata with white wave-pattern prints on it paired with a black and white lines obi. Tora smiled seeing it, it was their yukata pair that they both bought years ago and have always worn it every fireworks festival.

The pianist looked up to his husband and saw how tired he was. The youth that was once a cinema student had now worked as a director and so far, had directed many movie hits but a few years back his passion changed into directing video clips for musicians. And here he was, just finished wrapping up another video clip. Saga was glad that his husband had made it though because today was one of their annual things. He leaned over closer and kissed the love of his life’s cheek as a saying of ‘ _Otsukaresama_ ’.

“Did you bring my yukata?” The director asked after pecking Saga’s lips.

The pianist nodded. “There’s a toilet near here for you to change. C’mon.”

Tora nodded and followed his younger husband as the man dragged him towards the public toilet nearby the park. Fortunately, the men’s toilet was not as crowded as the women’s. After waiting for a few minutes, Saga passed on the bag with Tora’s yukata and waited outside. He checked his phone and saw an incoming message from Nao, asking if he had found Tora yet. Saga gave him a quick reply before checking his emails, remembering that he had an important mail to open.

He was surprised when he felt a pair of hands circling around his shoulders from behind. The culprit just laughed and Saga turned, giving the director a pout before groping the dark-haired man’s crotch. The director winced and it was the pianist’s turn to laugh. Tora grunted and leaned into his younger husband’s ear.

“Don’t get me started.” He whispered huskily before nibbling the shell of the pianist’s ear.

Saga shivered and whimpered, closing his eyes. Tora smirked at the reaction and couldn’t help but pecked the younger man’s cheek. Saga huffed and took Tora’s hand, once again dragging the man to leave the public toilet and towards to where the others were waiting for them. When they were a few feet away from their spot, a little girl with dark shoulder-length hair came up running to the pair.

“Father!” The little girl called as she got closer.

Tora smiled and squatted down as he opened his arms wide to welcome her.

“Hey there, kiddo!” He said as the little girl already launched herself into his arms.

The little girl giggled as he hugged her father, giving the man a kiss on the cheek being lifted and carried. Tora replied by kissing her forehead lovingly, giving her a fond smile before proceeding to where the others were. Saga followed suit alongside his husband and saw the others sitting on the mat above the grass.

“Uncle Tora has arrived!” Shou announced when he saw the family approaching.

The rest of the members looked up at the director with a smile. Suddenly, Nao’s twins got up from the mat abruptly to greet their uncle. The father of the two was too late to stop them as he saw that Tora’s lower-half was already tackled by his twins. The director just laughed seeing his ‘nephew and niece’ and ruffled their hair lovingly.

“Hey boys! Did I miss the fireworks?” He asked as he looked down at the twins.

“It hasn’t even started yet!” The girl of the twins replied.

Saga just laughed and proceeded to go to their spot. Once arrived, he took off his _geta_ and sat on the empty space beside Shou. After a few struggles and laugh, Tora succeeded on arriving to their spot. The four of them took off their _geta_ s and tagged their spot again. One of the twins claimed his spot in Shou’s arms while the other in his mother’s arms. Hiroto ruffled the kid’s hair in Shou’s arms, laughing at the pout he received. Tora took the empty space beside his husband with his daughter still in his arms.

“Sorry, as usual they’re a handful.” Nao’s wife apologized as he watched Tora fixing his _yukata_.

“No worries.” Tora responded with a smile.

Saga leaned over the middle of their circle to get one of the Tupperware among the drinks, food and snacks. He opened it once he got it and offered the rice balls filled Tupperware to his older husband. When Tora wanted to take one, his daughter was already reaching for it and fed him clumsily, making the dark-haired man surprised. The adults laughed at the scene as Tora took a bite from it and began to chew.

“Thank you.” He muffled and his daughter just giggled in response.

“It’s already dark but why hasn’t it started yet?” The boy of the twins in Shou’s arms complained.

“Be patient, kiddo. It’s gonna start anytime soon.” Shou responded as he pinched the boy’s cheek.

The boy whined and pulled Shou’s _yukata_ ’s sleeve, making the others laughed again. Tora finally took the last bite of the rice ball from his daughter’s hand and Saga immediately took her dirtied hand to clean it with a wet tissue. The little girl stayed obediently as her dad did what he was doing to her. She thanked him when her hand was finally clean and continued to cling to her father, playing with his necklace.

Nao started a conversation then and soon they chatted away like old friends were, with their children interrupting them occasionally. They were all wearing a _yukata_ and enjoying the midsummer air. Even after so many years, they never missed their annual fireworks display gathering. It’s not that they were living far apart from each other; they were all living in the Kanto area but their busy schedules were sometimes a hindrance. Even so, they always make it for birthdays, Christmas and Cherry Blossom picnic.

The sound of the of a song’s intro was heard and the twins perked up from their spot.

“It’s starting! Let’s go, Uncle Shou!” The boy in Shou’s arms said as he tugged Shou’s hand.

“Father! Father! C’mon, let’s go!” The little girl urged as he pulled her father’s collar.

Nao’s daughter practically pulled her mother’s arm, causing the woman to lose her balance for a while before standing up. Nao warned his daughter in a mocking stern but the only reply he got was a stuck-out tongue. The businessman just sighed and got up as well, following his wife and daughter. Soon, everyone gathered at the edge of the hill in anticipation. A few seconds later, fireworks started to illuminate the sky, reflected also on the river below them along with the voices of the audiences’ amazement.

After a few explosives and excitements from the children, Tora’s throat suddenly felt dry and he excused himself to go back to the mat and sat on it while taking the water bottle not far from him. He took a sip and watched his friends and family enjoying the fireworks. His eyes then focused on his family; his husband and daughter. Even now, Tora still couldn’t believe how one of his dream came true. Their daughter had come as a surprise when Saga announced to him two years after their marriage, and the best part was, it was biologocally his and Saga’s. Tora was still amazed at the technology these days, made Saga conceive and making one of Tora’s dream come true.

Four years had gone by since then and Tora was living the life of a parent. He had to admit that he never expected to have a child when he had decided to spend the rest of his life with Saga because Saga was enough for him and he also knew about the fundamentals of men. It was hard at first, but he was lucky that he had the best partner by his side thus resulting a sweet and kind-hearted daughter. Her looks were mostly developed from Saga but as years went by he realized that her personality was close to him, receiving a “Great, now I have a double you.” from his husband.

He chuckled at the memory and was surprised when he felt a hand touching his cheek. So lost in his own reverie, the director didn’t realize that his husband was now sitting in front of him, looking gorgeous as always. His chocolate eyes were shining due to the hues of the fireworks.

“What were you laughing about?” The pianist asked amusedly.

Tora just smiled and caught the other’s hand on his cheek, lacing their hands together.

“How lucky I am to have you… Even after so many years.” He said. “I feel blessed everyday knowing that we’re together forever.”

The pianist chuckled. “Even after so many years, you’re as cheesy as ever.” He teased.

“Will never change.”

“I know.”

Saga leaned in to capture his husband’s lips in a tender kiss. Tora responded as equal and kissed the brunette’s forehead before leaning his head into it.

“Tomorrow is our anniversary, huh…” Tora said and slowly lifted Saga’s chin so he could stare at the younger man’s face. “It’s been a wonderful 17 years…”

Saga smiled. “We’re still looking forward for the upcoming years…”

“I know. It’s just… 17 years is long and I’m so grateful that we’re still lasting. Everyday, I thanked the Gods for making you my soulmate. My love of my life, and the person I’m spending the rest of my life with. Takashi… thank you for being the amazing person you are. Thank you for loving me unconditionally even after I hurt you so badly. Thank you for continuing to support me and believing me. Thank you for everything, and thank you… for having a child with me. I love you so much that sometimes it’s hard for me to contain. Please, continue to look after me after this.”

Saga couldn’t stop the burn he felt in his eyes even if he wanted too. Tora’s words had warmed his whole being to the point he couldn’t contain his happiness. He laughed to hide his happy tears, smiling as he leaned into Tora’s touch, kissing his husband’s palm.

“I love you too, Masashi. I know we had so many ups and down, to the point that we had to face our hell, but that’s all in the past now. I’m also grateful that I ended up with you, the man I’ve always hoped to be with for the rest of my life…” Saga trailed, trying to think up of something again but failed. “Damn… you made me speechless. Since I cannot form any words right now, so I’ll show you how much I love you, later tonight. Just the two of us.”

It was true. In their anniversary every year, the couple would ask Nao’s help to take care of their daughter for a day, so they can celebrate it together.

“Looking forward to that.” Tora grinned, leaning forward to kiss the pianist again.

Unfortunately, Tora had to immediately withdraw before he could even touch Saga’s lips when he heard their daughter calling her dad. Saga turned and saw the little girl running up to him with Hiroto keeping an eye on her. The pianist immediately took her in his arms and smiled gratefully towards Hiroto before the photographer nodded and walked back to stand beside Shou.

“Where did you go? I wanna watch the fireworks with father and dad!” She whined, close to tears.

Tora’s heart broke at that and leaned in to kiss her forehead. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“Okay. Let’s go watch it again.” Saga said as he got up and lifted her up in the process.

Tora followed suit and circled an arm around his younger husband’s waist. Saga turned to the dark-haired man and pouted.

“We’re such bad parents…” He said.

The elder man responded with a chuckle and pecked Saga’s lips. Once they were back at the spot, they watched as the fireworks became more huge and colourful. Some of it were a shape of Disney characters and some were flowers and the moon. It was beautiful and the voices of ‘Awws…’ and ‘Wows…’ kept resounding in unison.

Even with the beauty in front of him, Tora was still getting distracted by the beautiful scene next to him. The scene of Saga and their daughter watching the fireworks. Even until now, he couldn’t believe that he has his own family, with the love of his life. His mind was reeling once again about the years he had spent with Saga and so far it had actually been perfect. Of course, like any married couple do, they had fights and arguments that lasted long also but he was glad that they had made it this far and they were still making more.

Without thinking, his hands moved and circle around his husband’s torso and leaning his chin on the other’s shoulder, making the brunette jump at the sudden action. Saga turned and saw the happiness that was written in his older husband’s face, making him smile softly too. They leaned against each other until their lips met in passionate yet tender kiss, pouring their love just in time as the biggest and final firework blew up, making the moment perfect.

Yes, Tora’s life was indeed had been sheer perfection.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know every universities' system is different for each country so I'm writing this based on my own experience. This story was inspired by Andra and The Backbone's song called 'Sempurna' which literally means Perfection.


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